1 heart 2 grandchildren

Question

my daughter seems to think that I have no love for my youngest grandaughter 1yrs. My eldest grandaughter and I are very very close she is 6yrs. How do I explain to my daughter that I love the both my grandaughters but my eldest and I just share a special bond and I am sure one day I will share a special bond with her sister. iHow do I explain this to my daughter without hurting her feelings?

Answer 1

As a parent who is going through favoritism with my Mom, my Grandma, and my Mother-in-law between my six kids- the only advice I can give is to ask yourself why she thinks or fees this way. Do you seem happier to see the eldest? Are you more enthusiastic with her? Do you buy more things for her? Do you invite her to come over or go places more? There's so much more that you can do with a six year old than a one year old, so that could explain some of it. Really think about this and try to see it through your daughter's eyes. Even out wherever you feel you need to. Talk to your daughter about it, maybe she could just come out and tell you why she thinks this.  

Answer 2

your heart has to love them the same.  If your daughters notices this, then hte eldest grandaughter notices, and eventually the youngest will notice.

You may also be afraid that you will forsake the eldest if you show the same kind of love to the youngest......step back and look at what you are teaching the eldest.

Answer 3

you can't

I also think you are wrong

My inlaws treat my kids unequal, they are only 2 years apart

I know my daughter was their first and they were use to making her their world, but my son deserved better.  2nd best sucks and they figure it out real fast

Answer 4

I'm sure your daughter is mistaking your activity with the eldest grandchild as favoritism when it is actually just that a 6 year old is capable of doing more and participating in more than a 1 year old.

Explain to your daughter that it isn't that you love the older child more than the younger, it's just that the older child can do more than the younger child.  Because of this, the interaction between the two of you seems like you love her more than her younger sibling, but that just isn't true.

Tell your daughter that as the younger child grows and becomes more able to do things, she will see that you love her the same as the older child.

Answer 5

It is not that easy to explain things like that to your daughter, but then why should you have to explain anything to her about this. But there is one thing you can do that may help, i have 7 grandchildren from the age of nearly 24 down to two years old, and i have always treated them the same, i don't give one more than the others, and i spend the same amount of quality time with them, okay the older ones i don't get to see them as much as i did when they were younger, because they do their own thing, but the younger ones who are from the age of 11 down to 2 i will interact with each of them by spending the same amount of time with each of them, and that way i have a special bond with them all, and you can do the same with the 1 year old, this will show your daughter that you do love them equal, end of having to explain.

Answer 6

Your actions have spoken louder than your words.  Why do you share such a special bond with one of your daughters and not the other?   I'm sure your actions have spoken louder than words in that relationship to.  The damage has been done and will continue to do so until you make that change.  Her feelings are already hurt, it's what are you going to do to keep them from being further hurt in the future?