1 year old son- living with my husband, sis in law, and her boy friend who is a homophob and racist?

Question

My husband and I have my sis in law as a roommate this year to help with rent while he finishes law school and I start grad school. Her boyfriend is over constantly. In the months I got to know him I found out these things- he is very religious, a basketball coach so he knows most ppl in our small little town, and buys her flowers and nice little gifts. He seems like a good guy overall. Over the past months I have thought I heard little racist remarks, but wasn't sure until about a week ago when he said something in front of me. Then Wed night he made a comment about "those people", meaning g*y people, and said he thought they should all die or be sent away to live on an island away from everyone else! I was speechless. What do I do? Say? We have a 1 yr old son and I don't want him growing up around someone like this. Help! They are already talking marriage and it kills me! She is such a big part of our family and loves our son.

Answer 1

Tell him to knock off the talk like that in your home and around your family. If he asks for a reason, tell him "It's my house. That good enough for you?" And then tell him to get out.

Answer 2

WOW, that's really messed up.  What are your sis-n-law's feeling on those subjects?  If she agrees with his feelings then you need to let her know that you don't want your son to be subject to those beliefs and that you don't feel the same way.  If she doesn't agree with his beliefs tell her that you don't want that kind of stuff talked about when he is in your house and around your son.  Hopefully she doesn't agree with him and will understand.  If she cares about your son she wont let something like that come between her and her nephew.

Answer 3

I wouldn't be okay with his comments. I would ask him to stop. But I would also keep it as a learning experience for my child by teaching why he what he said was wrong. I have older children.... so they understand better.

Your child is more likely to follow and take lessons in life from you... reguardles of what the he says. Your his teacher.

Answer 4

I don't hate g**s and I don't think they should be mistreated or jailed, but at the same time I believe homosexuality is abnormal.the APA(10 member board of Psychiatists who sets the psychological criteria for normal) used to  say it was abnormal until 7 of it's retiring members were replaced by homosexuals.Guess what?They say it is normal now.

Ever see how the g**s rioted at some fo the churches because the churches refused to allow them to promote homosexuality from their pulpits as good and normal and blessed of GOD when the Bible says it is sin?

The cops had to be called out they were screaming thatthe preacher should die and throwing stones through the windows and pounding the doors to get in.You won't hear about that much but it has happened several times in our own country(usa).They also want to make illegal for anyone to quote passages from the Bible that condemn homosexuality.

Thats is taking your freedom of speech and your right to practice your religion.That kills me.

Answer 5

First off anybody can be religious  I religiously comb my hair everday he can not be spiritual or saved to make comments like that unfortunately this is america and he does have the right to his beliefs as ridiculous as they might be but you have the right to not allow this in your home or around your child its no compromising on that talk to your sister if she cant stop him either her boyfriend  has to go or she has to go

Answer 6

Tell him to watch his mouth around your son. He's more than welcome to his opinion but you are also more than welcome to decide what views, opinions and platforms are supported in your home.

Answer 7

I would be pulling him up quick smart and saying "You are welcome to have your own opinions and views, but I would really appreciate you not making those sorts of comments in my house."

If he asks why - just say "I don't need to give you a reason, this is my house, and I am asking you politely not to make those comments in my house, around me or around my child."

Answer 8

the best thing to do is talk to your sister about it and also tell him that you would not like it if he said dose stuff around your son because you when you son to grow up in with a open mind and not to jude anyone like he dose.. so he know not to do it in front of your son

Answer 9

It's her choice whether she marries this guy, but you have the rule of the roost. Anyone who says junk like this guy (however "Christian" he may think his attitude is) needs to be told "I do not support prejudicial views and I will not tolerate them in my presence."  That's all.  He may think it's the "Christian" thing, to talk trash about other people just because their lifestyle isn't supported by The Bible.  That's not the attitude Christ demonstrated, and you don't have to put up with it.  If your sister-in-law is uncomfortable when you put your foot down, then explain to her how negative her boyfriend is being and that you don't approve of that kind of behavior around your child.