10 Points Why My Husband Feeling Guilty Now After ...?

Question

Why my husband is telling me this now. Well my husband he is not good with kids at all. I didn’t know that while we were dating and he didn’t mention not want kids so I got pregnant 7mo after we got married now we have 1yr old son and he doesn't do anything for him ,when I told him that I was pregnant he told me to have an abortion but I didn’t ‘cause I don’t believe in it if I knew he didn’t want kids I wouldn’t get pregnant. Any how he has a daughter from his 1st marriage and he told her mom to have an abortion when she was pregnant with her and she didn’t but she had abortion the 2nd time she got pregnant and my husband always thought he did the right think by making her have abortion but tonight he said he feels guilty about it and wishes that he never had s*x with her to began with, but why would he want that ‘cause the daughter he has with her he never sees her since he is in the marine and never calls her I’m the one who sends her gifts and cards he never remembers her BD’s or anything when I told him all this he got mad and said I always make him feel bad.

Answer 1

He should feel bad! These are his children!!  

Answer 2

he's NOT father material... its sad, but some men aren't... i'm sorry, but you will probably raise your son without much help from him

dont have any more kids, he wont want them either

Answer 3

  The older he gets the more the guilt will deepen ... One day it will burst forth like a flood that can no longer be held back ...   Your duty is too your child , be the mom that you are and when the child is old enough to ask you tell the truth .....   That is all you can do , worry not about him for we all answer to a higher authority for our actions here...Be a Good Mom........

Answer 4

When someone is trying to talk to you heart to heart and tell you whats on his mind DON'T criticize.  

As you get older you start feeling guilty for things you did in the past.

Go apologize and tell him you love him and you will be there for him.  Maybe you could talk a little about doing crazy things in the past that we regret but we can make a difference with his children for the future.

Hopefully he will realize he needs to change without you telling him to.  

Good Luck

Answer 5

It sounds like he does not want to be a father at all. Which would have been a good idea for him to use protection with his first wife, so she  would not get pregnant twice!  He should have been more clear that he did not want children before you two married. But the fact is that he is a father and he needs to be a man and step up and take responsibility for the kids.

Answer 6

well sorry to here that and aparently he is not father material  

Answer 7

Oh my -- that poor man.  Do you know anything about his childhood that might explain his desire to not have kids?  His upbringing could explain a lot.

My ex-husband was like your husband.  It took me years to understand -- we were actually divorced before I understood why he didn't want to be a father.  He never saw our children and never paid a single dime in child support.  When I became pregnant with our first child, he begged me to have an abortion.  I guess by the time I got pregnant with our second he realized my point of view.

His reasons were very complex -- but I can truthfully say they were mostly FEAR.  His biological father was a one night stand, and the father whose name he carried abandoned him and his mother when he was a newborn.  After that, there were a string of men who wanted him to call them "dad" -- needless to say, he was confused about what fatherhood really meant.

You may be surprised to discover how terrified your husband really is by the idea of being a father.  Since he is already terrified, to actually be a father is even more daunting.  

That poor man.

Answer 8

i went through something similar my husband always said he didn't want kids but we always had un protective s*x when i got pregnant he said he didn't want a baby {never talked about having an abortion because of our religion} he repeated the samething the whole 9 months when i had the baby he seemed happy and carried the baby and stuff but when the baby turned like 1 he totally changed he never played with his son never took his son to the park well never did anything a dad would do with his kid when my son was 11 i got divorced and i brought that up and he said that he regonized he never did anything with his son but his father did the samething while he was small and now that he had a son he did now what he should of done and he says he'll always feel guilty for that. this might not answer your ? but you'll now there's other  people that go through the same

Answer 9

There is an opportunity for your husband to distinguish what happened in the past, how he got this way, that has made him the way he is today. But he can not do this alone. I think he has a huge heart and plays tuff marine (no doubt he is) to hide behind his failures of past relationships, including his daughter and the aborted child. He has some grieving to do. It will take a Marine and time to do this. It sounds like you really love this guy.  Good luck.

Answer 10

WOW!   He is a true a s s.   You know what, instead of asking women to get abortions, why doesnt he get himself fixed not to have kids?   Tell him to go get the surgery.   Take care of your child,  unfortunately he is very irresponsible and selfish.   I dont see how your marriage will work when he ignores the fact that he has kids.   It makes me wonder how in world does he treat you?   I dont know girlfriend, as your child grows, your feelings for him will change...unless he starts acting like daddy material.    Single mothers always tell their potential mates, if you are going to accept me, you need to accept my kids too...in your marriage this isnt happening.   I think you will be looking for a new mate pretty soon.  

As far as him feeling guilty, I have no idea.   I would think that if he feels guilty for something, that he would make an effort to reverse the damage.  But if he is never there for his kids, maybe he is just talking bs.

Answer 11

Well he should feel bad. And you should continue to make him feel that way. What he is doing is cheating himself out of the biggest reward and gift in life. I would suggest him talking to some professional help to hopefully get to the bottom of things.  

Answer 12

Maybe because he knows he fathered those children but hes not being the daddy he should be. And I think that's great on your part to send the daughter gifts and cards.