10 month old can't sleep without me?

Question

Before anyone tells me, I know this problem is of my own making! My 10 month old is breastfed and so when she used to fall asleep on me in the afternoon, I used to let her and have a rest myself - bearing in mind she would only nap for half an hour at a time, twice a day at most and then she co-sleeps. Now she is more active, she wants to nap for longer - like an hour and a half, but obviously I don't want to sit there holding her for that long - there are things I could be doing! But the second I try and put her down, she is wide awake and then grumpy because she is tired. My husband wants me to stop co-sleeping when she is a year old, but I don't see how this is going to happen when she has never been used to sleeping without me. I've tried putting her for naps in her cot in the daytime, warming it first with a hot water bottle, putting something in that smells of me...but the second she lies down she's awake again. I thought maybe I could put her in a single bed with side

Answer 1

i have this problem not so much with naps during the day i am able to lay my son on the sofa slightly sitting up so its as if i am there after he has gone, i also do this with my daughter 9son 22 months and daughter 8 months) i also have done it to myself but what can i do!

my daughter sleeps in her cot as i wasnt making the same mistake that i did with my son, he has been in mine and my husbands bed since 4 weeks and has not gotten out since, he is big for his age is as tall as a 3yr old (he is 22 months) and its a nightmare but refuses to sleep on his own at this rate he'll be in our bed when he's 12 lol

i dont know how we are ever gonna get him out and if your husband thinks when your daughter turns 1 she's just gonna sleep alone then he's dreaming!

i cant leav ehim in the room crying its just cruel and i think that he'll never get into his own bed if he always gets upset as he will associate his bed with sadness!

sorry i have no tips as i am trying myself, but atleast your not alone in this problem!

Answer 2

I'd do it now before things get out of hand. Why don't you try a teddy bear in her cot. But you're going to have to stick with a few crying nights before this is resolved, the next time she needs a nap put her into her cot and leave her even if she wakes. It's going to take a while but she'll get used to knowing this is where she sleeps now.

WELL THEN WE CAN'T HELP YOU!

If you disagree with crying it out then there's nothing else you can do, you'll end up havin her sleepin on you for years to come. You'll have to toughen up a bit or she'll walk all over you!!

Answer 3

You need to teach her to self soothe this will be hard but I guarantee she will sleep you need to put her in her bed when she is sleepy not let her fall asleep on you first and let her stay there crying or not for 15 min.,then go get her but don't let her sleep on you.then lay her back in her bed,if she cries for 15 go get her and over and over and over until she sleeps it will happen and once it does the naps will get longer until she get a really good nap in the day time probably better than when you hold her because her bed doesn't move lol.good luck and I hope this helps you much.well if she cant cry it out there are no options because like you said she is going to cry if you don't let her sleep with you.So why are you asking an impossible question I suggest you delete this question so you don't waste more helpful peoples time.I think you are the reason she wont sleep in her own bed because you honestly don't want her too right????other wise you  would let her cry it out and at 10 mon. she should know not to bite herself,my son is wonderful and has never once slept in our bed or arms for longer than 10 mins.after the age of 3 weeks.the only way this works is to let her cry it out other wise she will not learn to self soothe.duh???

Answer 4

i used to be like that i was told until i was 1 and a half! My mum even breastfed me until i was 3! She was a teacher and ahe used to be so tired when she came back everyday, all tired+on top of that i used to always hold on to her, not letting go of her...

but, gradually i ot used to it.

Because she used to spend the least time possible with me, until i gt used to it.

Maybe you should try that with ur baby girl...

good luck, and i hope this helped u.

Answer 5

Wow! You're really going through it! First, you realize that you are the root cause to her behaviors and that's good for starters. My experience with babies(my own as well as grandchildren) that age want to be constantly entertained. They don't want you to put them down or else they throw a fit. I know that you don't want your baby to cry but it is ok just as long as your child doesn't play that against you. Like holding their breath to get your attention or screaming to the top of their lungs. Try going to the store and getting either a baby cd with the soothing sounds on it (Baby Einstein is good too for daytime amusement)or A mobile toy to hang over the crib. Again they want to be amused in some fashion.  Johnson and Johnson soothing baby bath helps too! It has Chamomile and Lavender in it. Your husband is right and you better break this cycle immediately.  The two things I mentioned helped my sisters and children with their babies. Good Luck Mommy!

Answer 6

I dont really have an answer but I feel a bit concerned that your husband is setting a rigid timetable--he needs to ease up a bit-your daughter is an individual  person and timetables are not helpful. I had the exact same thing with my daughter-I used to breastfeed her lying on my side on the bed -without my arm under her-once she was asleep i slid very carefully off the bed !-didn't always work tho' !-good luck---she will grow out of this phase --they all do !!--I agree --crying it out isn't something I believe in -seems cruel to me.

Answer 7

this is a big nono! my best friend is 13 and she is seriously ill. and her parents are too. she sleeps in her parents room on their floor. which gives the parents no privacy to you know have s*x. i spent the night over there and we were in her room and i woke up and she wasnt there. she snuck into her parents room. shes a baby and needs to grow up. if you keep your 10 month old sleeping with you she will be just like my friend. and whats so funny is that my friends parents allow it and dont even yell at her or anything. so please let her sleep in her OWN room.

Answer 8

Sorry i know you dont want to hear this..

But your going to have to let her cry for abit..

Its not the end of the world

Yes it will be hard for both you and ur daughter

But i cant see any other solution..

Theres not much u can really do..

Like others have said

She will walk over you!

And u might spend years with her sleeping on you.?

Answer 9

Let dad put her to sleep.....what you have done is spoiled your baby rotten which is not good for her. Why don't you stop breastfeeding her and lay her in her own bed with a bottle or pump your b*****s and do this. She will eventually fall and stay asleep.....she just knows what you have taught her and that is to be insecure with you. I have 4 growns sons and 10 grandkids and I can admit some of my grandkids went through that the ones mainly that were breastfed and this worked for them.....good luck and stop being a security blanket your husband is right after a year it's off to there new bed........start now little by little letting her sleep alone in her own bed once in a while so that way by the time she is a year she will be use to it...good luck we all love our kids but spoiling them only hurts them in the long run.

Answer 10

Put her down and walk away.  If she bawls, let her cry herself a river.  Trust me, she'll get over it faster than you think.  Sounds cold, but it ain't.

Start tonight doing this, or as time passes, it will become harder for the both of you.  This is a bad trend that you need to break

Answer 11

feed her in a different room from where she sleeps then take her  and put her to bed close her door and leave she will lay down and sleep

and dont attack those giving you answers  dont want different opinions stay off this site

Answer 12

don't let her take multiple short naps throughout the day. she should be taking one or two naps about 2-3 hours at most. try a routine too, like story time, bath time, or sing to her so she realized what comes next (nap time). instead of holding her try puting her down and rubbing her back so she know's you're still there but you're not going to sleep with her. this may be very difficult, but remember that she is old enough to fall asleep on her own. you'll see a difference in her sleeping behavior if you take the right action and stick with it. whatever you chose to do you must make it a priority and be consistent. good luck!

Answer 13

but cayenne pepper in her milk and it will put her right to sleep but stay with er about 10 minutes and she wont know your going to your bedroom

Answer 14

I had this problem(all though I diden't see it as one,everyone else did)

When she would take a nap,I would turn on the tv,put lots of pillows and blankets on the floor,then we would lay down,she thought I fell asleep and would then fall asleep and then I would sneak away and get stuff done,but it was easier to sneak away because the floor doesen't shake like the bed and it was easier to get my arm back and then soon she was ok with napping and sleeping by herself.

I know its not much help,but it worked.

Good luck and don't feel bad that your daughter likes to sleep with you...they are only little once...it won't last forever u just have to help her along but to set a timetable is a little bit much.

Good Luck.

Answer 15

I feel your pain!!!

I had exactly the same problem with my 1st son!

In fact he slept with me for 5 years!!!!! But as soon as I had my 2nd he went into his own room of his own accord & slept peacefully there ever since.

My only suggestion is have another baby!! (not very helpful I know - sorry!!)

Answer 16

Get a baby sling and carry her in it when she gets sleepy.  I know it's kind of a pain to be carrying her around while she naps, but at least you'll have your hands free to get things done.  Don't listen to people who tell you that you're spoiling or she needs to cry it out.  Your heart already knows that you're doing the right thing, and you don't need the approval of a bunch of strangers.  My son was very clingy as well--some babies just are (my daughter on the other hand would sleep and nap on her own from day one, and they were raised exactly the same).  She will grow out of it in time; hang in there in the meantime.  My son is six and sleeps just fine on his own now :)   (finally)!

Answer 17

Give her a teddy bear to sleep with.

Answer 18

This cot might help you, Get her used to it been attached to your bed, Then transfer her to her own room.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?V...

Answer 19

It will take a week or so but she will get used to sleeping without you.  She will cry and complain, you have to let her do that.  She will get so tired she WILL fall asleep.  As long as you keep indulging her, she will demand that things be her way.