10 month old won't stop crying!!?

Question

I started watching a 10 month old boy who just won't stop crying/screaming as soon as his mother passes him to me. He's here twice a week until September when he'll be here 4 times a week. I've watched him 4 times and he screams from the time she leaves until she returns. Sometimes he'll stop for a couple of minutes, but that's it. His mom said that he does it at home too. If she leaves a room, he screams. She has to take him to the bathroom with her. He reacts like this towards his own dad too! This one is a challenge for me. I've had a couple of kids who have cried for the first couple of months, but distraction always worked. And, I knew that it was a daycare anxiety issue for them. If this little guy has been acting this way for months at home, how can I expect him to react any different with me? I give him lots of hugs/reassurance. It breaks my heart to hear him cry all the time. It stresses the other kids, and I'm exhausted by the end of the day. I would love your advice please!

Answer 1

As another posted mentioned, it sounds to me like the parent-child bond is insecure.  A huge predictor of this would be the communication you see taking place between mom and baby.  Is she attentive to his cues?  

What could be happening here is that the baby is insecure in his environment and needs you to guide that trusting relationship.  He may be sensitive to a routine - ask mom how is day usually goes and try to mimic that as much as possible.  A baby massage might help settle him too, deep muscle massages - not gentle (ticklish) massages, that would only stimulate him more.

Be aware too that this could be a sign of a developmental disability or medical condition.

Answer 2

Don't baby him...he may just be doing it for your attention. Let him crawl around and play like normal and if he cries, just ignore, it. But watch him- something may actually be wrong.

Answer 3

I think I would suggest to the parents to take him to a doctor, maybe seek some kind of parenting, not that they are bad parents. but for the advice on what they can do. does he cry himself to sleep, I could see this in a younger baby but a 10 month old. do they take him anywhere else, grandma or aunties, someone other then you. does he do the same thing. I hate to say it but that would drive me nuts, As a mom the sound of a crying baby makes me cringe. I just want to pick them up and hold them and love them. This may be a hard question to answer. Maybe talk to other moms in your area that do daycare, or talk to a daycare facility and ask them what they might do in this situation.  hope this helps.

Answer 4

He has a very insecure attachment which is a sign of problems with the parent and child bonding. If he has failed to form that very necessary primary attachment to one parent it will be very difficult for him to form any sort of trust with someone who is new to him.

How does the mother seem when she drops him off? is she loving or indifferent? does she kiss him and cuddle him?

I think you should suggest she takes him to see a professional like her health visitor or doctor, this baby has serious trust issues surrounding his parents.

Answer 5

does he have a nuk.give him something to chew on is he teething.does he have a diaper rash or just keep showing affection and hope the behavior changes

Answer 6

This child may have special needs and this is the first indication of that.     I wish I had an answer for you.     You might try consulting someone who specializes in special needs kids and ask what works when they encounter such extreme separation anxiety.

Answer 7

honestly to me it sounds like the mommy is spoiling him to much at home. why does she HAVE to bring him into the bathroom with her?? its not gunna kill him to sit alone in the living room crying while she goes to the bathroom. actually it'll do him good he's used to getting his mommy whenever he cries.

i'm sure since he's gunna be with you 4 days a week he'll probably come out of it after awhile. but expect after the weekends though that he'll be back into that routine because this crying habit isnt gunna change until mommy changes her ways of dealing with his crying at home

but you cant do anything about his home life. maybe if he's the last one to get picked up sit done and discuss this with her. ask her if she's willing to try different things out and you'll both work together. you'll do the same at daycare as she'll do at home. but if she doesnt wanna do it. she doesnt want to.

Answer 8

does he watch Disney channel ??

Answer 9

Sounds to me like this is their first baby, & mommy has catered to him way too much. Most babies dont get seperation anxiety like this till later on. But like you stated mom takes him everywhere, so he wont cry! That was HER first mistake. He knows if he cries, she will come! My advice is to play peek a boo with him, & encourage his mother to do this for a good 30 minutes every night with him. I know it sounds odd, but it will teach him, that if shes out of sight, she will always return. (This is something I learned in preschool/daycare classes years ago.) Also she needs to set a routine when leaving him, in your care. She needs to tell him, mommy has to go now, I will be back soon, hug him, kiss him, & wave goodbye. He may only be 10 months but a special routine for leaving will help him out. It wont happen overnight, but it will happen gradually. I have a 9 1/2 month old here that goes to daycare & I always get on the floor with him, kiss him & say mommy will see you soon, I love you! And I will continue to do this. I have never had this problem luckily! I always had a routine for my kids, when they started daycare. You both need to be on the same page & communicate with one another. Speak with her about it, & try different things. I'm sure it will get easier if you figure out a routine for him. If she's not willing to, then tell her you cant watch him, beacause its too much on you & the other children you watch!

Best of Luck & let me know how it goes!!!

Answer 10

I understand your situation.  As a caregiver, you need to know tt this child is facing the separation anxiety.  I think he thinks tt whenever his parents are far within his sight, his parents are going to leave him for gd.  

But anyway..this is common whenever parents drop their kid somewhere and it will last depending on the child.  You need to build a bond with him.  Let him trust you gradually..

Patience is the key in this. It may take days, weeks or even months!

Good luck!

Answer 11

He must be teething or probably having a diaper rash, or maybe hungry, thirsty, or sad or scared. Trust me, I was a baby once...