10 points! What do you think of this poem I wrote? Comments.suggestions?

Question

"I am whole"

I may be blind

but I am not a cripple.

Am I crippled because

I am unable to judge?

All I is see

the good in people

The everlasting beauty that

engulfs their very souls.

I see it as a gift from god.

Those who are able to see

are crippled as they feel the need

to judge, to ponder, to discriminate,

I am not crippled, I am whole.

Answer 1

I love this poem. You have captured the essence of how every person should feel.

My only suggestions would be:

I may be blind

but I am not crippled.

And god should be God, unless you are using his name in vain. If you are ever referring to the Lord, then his name needs to be capitalized.

Other than that, it is excellent!!!

Answer 2

All I is see ???  

Its ok,

you need to capitalized the G in God.

Seems like you are trying too hard to make it seem deep.

Answer 3

I am going to print this one for my daughter, it highlights the difference between being crippled and as you put it being whole. I love it and ja, it is a gift from God.

The negative are God's way of highlighting the fact that you are created whole. This is what God wants you to know know at this stage of your life. The fact that you are able to realise this that makes you an entity these people have to recon with. Surprise! surprise! seeing this is only possible when you have the Holy Spirit in your being.

I would like to know how old are you?It is a question of beauty.Lovely

Answer 4

Does this mean that you have trouble seeing flaws in people?

Its a very nice poem if I'm right.

Answer 5

I love it! It sends an absolutely important message, as a matter of fact, it sends more than 1 important message.

#1 People who are judgmental are the truly crippled ones.

#2 A person who has a physical disability may be better off than a person who doesn`t have a physical disability. (better off mentally)

#3 That blind people are in fact blessed because they see past something that most people with vision can`t see. (truly unfortunate for seeing, ignorant, judgmental people.)

I give this poem a A++

Answer 6

I give you the 10 points.

Well written. I like the perspective in your free flowing poetry, and then the powerful juxtaposition at the end.

Well done.

T.

Answer 7

your poem is amazing! it was actually very moving. and definatly correct, in the way of being 'whole'.

Answer 8

good exept the all i is see take out the is