10 points for best, u know how it is?

Question

best jokes guys, let's hear em, either way u get a laugh at ouf looking at other's responses, soo let's hear it

Answer 1

A young wrestler goes to his coach and says "coach i want to be the world wrestling Champion"

the Coach says "well you are as big and strong as all the other world champions but you need to learn two things; speed and agility and agility and speed"

the young wrestler says "teach me coach teach me"

The next five years of training is all speed and agility.

The young wrestler enters the city wide competitions and sweeps them ,then the state championship and wins the National championship, next is the world championship he gets to the final match.

The coach says " Ok this the last match, you are fighting Ivan Struckimof and he has a deadly move it's called the Iron Pretzel if he gets you in it he'll twist every which way and you will suffocate and you will die just remember speed and agility ,agility and speed"

The match begins and within three seconds Struckimof has the young wrestler in the Iron Pretzel the coach walks away knowing his wrestler is about to die suddenly the crowd goes wild and the coach turns around to see his wrestler standing on top of Struckimof's unconscious body arms raised in victory tears streaming down his face .

The coach jumps up and embraces his wrestler yelling over the crowd "how did you do it how did you beat the Iron Pretzel?"

The young wrestler says " it was what you taught me speed and agility  agility and speed ,he had me so twisted that right infront of my face was a pair of balls in trunks so i strained my neck as far as i could and i bit down with all my might and you would not believe the amount of speed and agility you get when you bite your own nuts that hard"

Answer 2

Yo momma is sooo fat. even neji hyuuga cant see throo her! oo wat wat!! lolz.. Neji Hyuuga is from the Anime Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden <3

Answer 3

Once there lived a magical elf,

who lived in a Rainbow Tree,

He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf,

Who was constantly having to pee.

One day the elf could take no more,

So he went and banged on the rude dwarf's door,

And what do you know they suddenly both were married!

Answer 4

There were 3 guys stranded in the desert. They find a magic lamp with a genie that will grant them one wish each.

The first one wishes for water.*Poof* he has all the water he can drink.

The second one wishes for food. *Poof* he has all the food he can eat.

The second one wishes for a car door then *Poof* he gets a car door.

The two other men look at him and ask why he wished for a car door when he could wish for anything in the world.

He said 'so I can roll down the window its hott!!!'

Answer 5

Q: What's the difference between Saddam Hussein and a bucket of sh*t?

A: The bucket.

Answer 6

What's black and white and red all over?

Micheal Jackson caught watching "Peter Pan"....eating Trix cereal... wearing "Teletubbies" PJ's...

Answer 7

Lonely Gorilla

A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his

mate for several months and was really horny.

One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal

keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the

bars apart and s***w the first thing he could find.

As he left his cage and ran through the zoo he came

upon a lion sleeping in the grass. He really wasn't

thrilled with his find but since he had promised himself

he would take the first thing he could get, he grabbed

the lion and screwed it.

Just as the gorilla finished, the lion awoke and was

really pissed. The lion started chasing the gorilla

through the zoo and was beginning to gain on him. The

gorilla turned a corner and saw a park bench with a

newspaper on it. Thinking quickly, the gorilla sat

down on the bench and held the newspaper in front of

him like he was reading it.

When the lion turned the corner he stopped at the park

bench. Not knowing what was behind the newspaper he

asked the reader if he had seen a gorilla run by. From

behind the paper, the gorilla said, "You mean the one

that screwed the lion?"  The lion shook his head and

shouted, "Oh No!  It's already in the papers!"

Answer 8

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Answer 9

Get it Straight  

    

A cop pulls over a drunk driver. The drunk driver says, "Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!"

please BEST ANSWER

Answer 10

A blonde and a brunette both board an elevator and push the buttons for their respective floors. On the next floor, the door opens and a businessman wearing a black suit boards the elevator. It’s evident that the man has dandruff problems, because it can be seen on the shoulder of his suit.

Two floors later the man gets off, and the two women remain. When the door closes the brunette says, “Someone should give that guy some Head & Shoulders.”

The blonde then responds, “How do you give shoulders?”