10 week ultrasound and whether the unborn child's father should be there?

Question

I am 9 weeks pregnant! As of today the father of my unborn child stated that he wanted me to get an abortion because of both of our employment issues, housing issues and this will be child number 3 for him. He stated that I would be dumb to keep the baby and not be able to take care of it and that if I were to keep it he wouldn't be around to help. I think because I am pregnant it's breaking up the relationship between him and his child's mother. However, I have had two previous abortions that took a major emotional toll on me and I don't want to kill my baby. Question, I have my 10th week ultrasound next week and I was wondering if I tricked him into going to the ultrasound, after seeing the baby could he possibly change his mind about an abortion? Also, I have known him for 13 years, we were together for 2 years and off and on for the past 3 years and my previous pregnancies were his!

Answer 1

This is the third time this guy coerces you into taking a child's life against your wishes. The consequence took an emotional toll on you because deep down you know the truth and the humanity of the pre-born. The decision is based on a financial situation and left you with emotional challenges. Is that really worth it? You've known him for 13 years, is the kind of guy you really want?  If so you can tell him you are due for an ultrasound and he is welcome to come and see the image of the child he wants terminated. You don't need to trick him, just tell the truth. If you break up because you saved a child's life, it's good riddance and a good time to find someone that really respects humanity. As for support for yourself, there are many support groups for women facing unplanned pregnancies. Ultimately you have to live with your choices including the guys you have relationships with.

Answer 2

No tricking him into going to an ultrasound will not change a thing. If you want to have this baby fine, go ahead without him. He has clearly stated he doesn't want to be a part of it and nothing you can do will change his mind. You need to make the decision for yourself now, if you don't want to terminate then don't but you will be doing it alone. I don't mean to be harsh but that's it in a nutshell. Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Answer 3

First of all, DON'T let him talk you into that.  I personally don't believe in abortions unless there are certain very serious issues, but I won't get into that.  That is your decision, it's your baby too.  And you can do it, you will find a way to take care of that baby, a mother always does.  But I'm not sure if tricking him into it is a good idea.  It might cause more problems.  Him seeing the baby in real life when he/she is born, that might be a different story.  But I wouldn't be too pushy right now, you might end up pushing him away more than he already is.  Me and my boyfriend have 5 kids combined, and it is hard but not impossible.  His oldest is 15 and our youngest is 9 months, so this is coming from experience (6 years of it to be exact).  So my advise is to keep that baby, don't push him into anything right now, and just let things fall into place.  There are so many resources out there to help you, take the help.  You can make it.  My sister did it for 4 years.  I hope you make the right decision, and I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

you can ask him and if he says no forget him, take care of you baby and he'll regret it later

Answer 5

You have to do whats best for you and your child and if you feel having your baby is best do it, with or without him. Don't keep stressing yourself out with abortions you don't even want, too many can cause you to be infertile and or cause you to resent him.

Answer 6

No, there's not much to see at 10 weeks.  And if he's that heartless nothing would change his mind.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are determined to keep the baby.....good for you.  However, don't depend on any help from this man.  Been there, done that, and now I'm almost 37 weeks with a pregnancy I've managed all by myself.  It's been one of the hardest experiences of my life, and I know it's just going to get harder after the baby gets here.  Whether the man is there for the ultrasound is irrelevant...though it may give you insight as to his true feelings.  The "father" of my child came to one ultrasound at about 10 weeks....and he read a book through most of it and showed no interest in the baby.  He abandoned me at 14 weeks, saying he had no interest in the child and had no feelings for it.  He also suggested that I have an abortion.

So just be prepared to do everything yourself with no help from this loser.  It's hard, and it's expensive.  I had no idea how expensive pregnancy is.  I have struggled to keep paying my bills.  Unfortunately you cannot file for "pregnancy support", so the deadbeat dads aren't obligated to pay a dime until the baby is born.

Good luck.  You can do this.

Answer 8

I would just ask him to go and see how he feels about it but tricking him might just make matters worse.  I mean he would figure out that you are there for you appt and might get very upset that you would try to trick him.  Sounds to me like he just doesn't want more kids and he is making excuses and his mind is made up.  

Answer 9

Get rid of this dumb A*** and concentrate on taking care of urself and ur unborn baby

Answer 10

1. It is YOUR body and YOUR choice, not his.

2. Personally, he sounds like kind of a jerk.  Is his relationship with his baby mama more important to him than his relationship with you?  If so, you need to kick him to the curb!

I hope this turns out well for you.  In his current mind set, I am not sure if having him go to your ultrasound with you would make any difference or not.  Good Luck.