10 year old doesnt know how to spell, write properly is she stupid?!?

Question

ok i have a 10 year old staying with me right now. I just wanted to see her weak spots, and currently she has a lot. She read one chapter of a junie b jones book (she is now in fifth grade) and answered the questions i made. (like what was your favourite part, easy simple questions) i read them. her spelling is whack, and her sentences dont make sense. her punctuation, she didnt put any in. I mean she isnt stupid, but like i was rereading the sentences to her to make her point out her mistake and shes like there isnt any. she has the right answer in her head, but when it comes to spelling, and writing things down its completely horrid! her mom doesnt help her, she just wants money from her ex husband, and shops a lot and cares about her self. 10 year old doesnt study, and only wants to watch tv all day. she doesntlike reading, and doesnt even know how to spell the simplest of words. told her to auto on paper. she put autont. she adds random letters to words, and when she doesnt know how to spell them she willput random letter. like with the word might she put "miat". what do i do?! i asked her to explain why she pput extra letters on words she spelt right, she started bawling her eyes out because she thought i was yelling at her. HELP ME. She is going to fail fifth grade if nothing happens. like you tell her one thing it slips out the other ear. she forgets like every 5 seconds. im annoyed and mad now.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like she has a learning disability. Unfortunately this cannot be helped unless the mother agrees to have the child tested, and it sounds like the mother doesn't care.

For what you can do... It is very very very very difficult to help tutor a child with a learning disability that is not addressed. I know because I've done it. I had a younger cousin who was a crack baby and had horrible learning disabilities his mother refused to acknowledge so I spent every summer catching him back up till they put him in 'home school'.

You need to be super patient. Instead of pointing out flaws, point out what is good. Write sentences that are correct and point out why they are correct. Make a vocabulary list of really easy words like cat and dog. Quiz on these easy words and see if she adds things. If so, ask her to very carefully sound out the words and attempt to spell them again out loud. Don't reprimand for wrong answers, let her know they are wrong, just say it phonetically, spell it, and move on. Don't dwell on the mistakes. It sounds like she is in a very stressful environment. If you can, meet with her every day after school for even just 30 minutes and do homework together.

While being nice, don't let her walk over you. Children in these situations need very clear boundaries that are enforced, but not in a harsh manner. While working on homework, no distractions are allowed. Reward her when she gets things right.

This is a problem only a trained professional can truly address correctly. Try talking to the school counselor in private and bring up this concern. Encourage the counselor to get the mother to submit to testing. This child will always struggle until her mother is on board and gets her professional help.

Best of luck... you are an amazing person for taking such an interest in this child. And if she does fail, this is a good time for her to do it. It would've been better earlier, but it won't be too socially difficult for her now. Being held back is sometimes a blessing because it gives the child an extra year to catch up. So if she does get held back, don't feel bad. It's probably a blessing in disguise.

Answer 2

i have dyslexia and had this problem a lot. my teachers just thought i wasnt trying. finally last yr, my senor yr of high school my mom made the school test me. I dont have a sever case of it but if they would have caught it a while ago i would have gotten the help i needed and could have excelled higher in school. Have her get tested. It doesnt mean shes stupid, we are all born with different disabilities, some standing out more then others. The best way is just spending extra time with her and helping her study. Try and get her tested soon as possible though so she doesnt fall even further behind her classmates.  

Answer 3

get work books and flash cards also learning games-electronic ones are real popular! you can help her if you start now  

Answer 4

Definitely not stupid but she does sound like she's behind.  Have her parents or teachers ever thought to have her tested for any learning disorders like dyslexia, ADD, etc?  This is also a huge problem with kids who are allowed to do nothing but watch tv or video games and they are never made to use their imaginations or think or learn for themselves.

It's great that you want to help her.  Don't force it on her but go in small batches.  Otherwise she will get frustrated and give up.  I'm also very surprised that none of her teachers have ever flagged the problems and they keep passing her - that is not going to help her and the longer she goes without help the harder it will get for her.

Above all else, be POSITIVE with her, even when correcting her.  If she picks up on your exasperation she will shut down, and give up.  I struggled big time in grade school and instead of helping me, all my teachers and my mom just yelled and made me believe I was stupid, so I just gave up trying.  I still struggle with it today.