11/12yr old boy playing with my 8yr od daughter?

Question

OK I am just a little weired out. Please tell me I am normal. I don't know what to do. I have this boy hanigng around my house and I am not comfortable at all. I tried telling my daughter that he is just to old to be hanging around. She just has no clue.She just says he is nice. I want to tell him to stop comming around and s that they have nothing in common that he is to old to be friends with her but I don't want to hurt his or my daughters feelings. What do I do?? Do I say I have to meet his parents in order for him to come around? I just have bad thoughts of his intentions going through my head and don't like it at all. please help

Answer 1

you should be around them when there hanging out. that seems a little suspisous  

Answer 2

I say you shoot the kid, how dare he get near you daughter, he might be a rapist or a pedophile, you better watch out!

All your crazed paranoia is totally justified, but it will all be worth it to th therapist your daughter needs to hire someday because you are a whackjob.

Answer 3

Ok wow, just tell him that u do have meet his parents, and you should NEVER leave them alone...im not saying anything bad will happen, but that is kind of weird..

Answer 4

I suppose how strange it is depends on the individual situation, but clearly you are not comfortable with it and that should be enough reason for you to do something about it. Obviously something is telling you it's not right so perhaps you should meet his parents, if their good people as it were then they'll probably understand and this might make you more comfortable about them spending time together.

It is a bit strange if he has just appeared out of nowhere. Though, when I was little there were loads of us that used to play outside from my street, ranging from ages 15 to 3 and we all used to get on fine. If you don't like it, however, then something probably isn't right.

Answer 5

After reading the variety of answers on here I have to say bravo for you to having second thoughts about this.  

You would be wise to heed to caution in this situation.  While they may be 'just kids', boys at that age are beginning to go through some puberty which may lead to confusing thoughts and actions.  While their play may appear innocent, and very well might be, wouldn't you rather just put it a stop to it all together? There iabsolutelyey NO apologies that need to be made to either your daughter or to this boy.  Nor is there any need to meet the parents to determine whether the child comes from a good home with attentive parents.  So do many people in our criminal systems.  As far as my thoughts go, no explanation is required or needed for a parent following their intuition and just saying no.  Who cares if anyone thinks you're just over-reacting?  At least your little girl won't be just anothestatisticic because you failed to protect her and go with your gut on this one.

Answer 6

Don't worry about his feelings!! You'd be setting limits if you tell him not to go!! If it doesn't make you comfortable (it wouldn't make me either) who cares about his feelings!! He probably doesn't really have a feeling but curiosity and a field where to see what goes on if you don't stop him.  Telling him you need to meet his parents is giving him permission and make it sound formal, what if the parents of this kid think it's so cute if they become "sweethearts"?  They won't see any problem in their child and probably even be proud of him and push him to it.  You just need to follow your instinct and use your right as a parent, don't give many explanations, say no, good bye kid, and release your daughter from it, she's young and probably can't even say what she feels about the whole thing.  Wish you the best!

Answer 7

HE IS 11!! come on! at that age they're so scared to even hug their "boyfriend" holding hands was a huge deal, if it's even like that!! if your that worried about it don't let them be alone together, I think your being a bit ridiculous really, it's not as if it's a 21 year old with your 14 year old!!  his intentions!! geez poor kid!! his intentions are probably not being bored!  it's your daughter, but i just think if your that worried about it you would watch them when they are together and not let them be alone in the room with the door shut or whatever.... i think that would be the practical thing to do, but honestly i think if he was my son, i wouldn't want him around your negativity, your already judging him and you don't know his parents or anything? what DO you know about him other than his age? your daughter is going to have a hard time keeping friends if you continue to be this judgmental.  

Answer 8

Never leave them out of sight. And meeting the parents wouldn't hurt. This could be harmless, but your justified in your concerns. For your daughter's sake keep tabs on this boy.

Answer 9

i understand your concern.  do you think maybe she looks up to him and admires the big kid.  my suggestion. have them play at your house and not out and about in your neighborhood  it is probably just a phase that will outgrow itself.  I had a similar friendship when I was a kid except we were both girls adn I  was the older one.  it eventually wore out.  you should probably meet his parents just cause he is a person your child is hanging aroudn and you want to know what kind of influences you are letting into your home.  I wouldn't push too hard though about the two kids playing together for the time being.  they are about to go back to school and maybe everything will change.        

Answer 10

I think your senses are on target...

Ask to meet the parents. But, even then you should not let him around your daughter if he makes you feel uneasy.

Make her unavailable! Take her places, give her things to do, whatever, just keep her away from him!

Answer 11

They're little kids. Stop being paranoid. You should meet the parents of all your kids friends regardless of their age. I don't know where you live, but when I was young the only kids around were boys that were older than me. My grandma would let me play with them in the front yard or in the living room. Nothing weird ever happened. She shouldn't be playing alone with anyone anyway.

Answer 12

You're just being paranoid, as long as he's not physically or psychologically harming the girl, there really isn't any problem.

If you really feel strongly about it, there's really no way to stop it without hurting someone's feelings, eventually the boy will lose interest and start spending more time with kids his own age.

Answer 13

first of all, dont compare your own experiences with boys to this 11/12yr old boy. thats usually the reason why something as harmless as playing with a friend of the opposite s*x is turned into "dark intentions".

if you are her parent, be one and go talk to his parents. make up some excuse like "hello i just wanted to meet the parents of your son who plays with my daughter.. they get along very well.. etc etc"

if the parents are rude people or you just dont want anything to do with them, then tell them "your son isnt allowed to come over to my house" and thats that. tell your daughter shes not allowed to talk to him and tell the boy to leave if he comes by. ofcourse that would make you seem cruel and your daughter would probably be mad at you but thats when YOU have to decide, is this kid really doing harm to my daughter or am i overreacting?

best of luck

Answer 14

thats quite normal actually, little children have friends that are older, up to five years older