12 years old and acting out in school?

Question

my son is 12 years old and he been acting out cursing his teachers leaving his classroom leaving the bld he is in special ed due to his behavior i took him to the doctors they told me they couldnt give me no meds for him because he needs to see a neurologsist and phyciatrist when i called the phyciatrist they tolds me i wouldnt be able to see her until he gets counseling first and see how that goes i took him there and he manipulated the situation having these people think that aint nothing worng with him i have punished him beat him took his his previlges from him no tv games no outside no phone no computer nothing seems to work not even a whippin they got me going in circles no he suspended until may 8 and nothing seems to change im at a loss so i am wodering if they are going to put him on meds this is causeing stress in my lef and i haven been feeling sick lately due to his actions his father is in his life but he doesnt seem like he wants to change the doctors arent helping me

Answer 1

Hi. I have one of those too - he is 14 years old. Therapists didn't help... just cost me money. I spanked him and punished him harshly when this started around age 8 or 9. That made it worse... MUCH worse. Psychiatrist drugged him up -- They had him on so much meds he was like a zombie.  The meds didn't really help the problem. My boy was put into special ed classes too - even tho he is intelligent. His biggest issue is controlling his temper. Now I still do not have this problem solved by any means but it is better. I have him just taking Buspar at school. 1 before school and one at lunch. It helps keep his agitation level down. He is not a zombie. Steer clear of any anti-psychotic meds like risperdal. Too strong and they made him fat which was a whole new problem. He is skinny now. ADD meds made him worse - and antidepressants made him crazy and weird. I had to withdraw him from school and home-school for 2 months to stabilize him. I took leave from work and went to museums with him and stuff and we talked a lot. He has been back in reg. school for over a year now. Now I got him and I doing volunteering TOGETHER every Sunday afternoon... for Meals on wheels. We prepare meals for preschoolers on the program. I believe this has been helping quite abit. He had a severe attitude about it at first - but once he got into it I could tell he felt he was doing something good. He still has slip-ups with his anger but he is MUCH better. I have refrained from punishing him for his outbursts - beyond having him apologize and tell me how he could have better handled the situation. He needs to learn to control himself and it is difficult for him but there is much progress. I've determined he gets as mad at himself for his actions as I do -  but it is difficult for him to say that because that would be wimpy or something. Encourage your son to make the right choices concerning his temper and praise his good choices when he does make them. It will get better.

Answer 2

Hey I did the same thing when i was that age, I think its just a kid thing. What snapped me out of it was my parents talking to me like I was an Adult. Like saying "If youcontinue this behavior you could be on the streets or working at a fast food place all your life." stuff like that. Tell the boy how important this time is and how if he messes his life up now, it will effect him his whole life. Even that age I understood what my parents were saying its feels better to be treated like an Adult :D

Answer 3

you need a second opinion on everything and changing his docs is a good idea. because he just might be ADD OR ADHD. my nephew is like that and gave my sis in law a hard time to where she didnt know what to do and he is also in special ed and he is on meds for his behavior, and he sees a phyciatrist so there is help out there for your son you just have to keep looking and get 2 or 3 opinions or more if you have to.

Answer 4

Well have you tried talking to him. It really helps. You can find out whats bothering him and YOU can help him. They will only give him Meds if it is a pschological problem. To me this seems more like a problem caused from others. Also he'll feel better to talk to his mother about whats going on instead of some stranger who may not even care. Also beating him will not help. STOP THAT IMMEDETALLY. Just hlp him find out what wrong and help him.

I'm 12 and there are so many things that get in your way and they bottle up and cause you to get angry at random people. The only thing that can help me then is my dad.

SO JUST TALK TO HIM formally without hostility then he'll be more open to you.