14, pregnant, and an abusive boyfriend. (longish) what do I do?

Question

Im 14 and he is 16 when we first started going out he was so sweet, gentle.. after a while I LOVED HIM he promised me a room full of roses, he asked if i was a virgin, i said yes and he said "so am I" he is a quarterback-jock and im just average, then one day he took me to a party with all the popular people and everyone was drinking. He brought me some beer and i turned it away. he gave a me a disgusted look like i was embarressing him. and then he started flirting with another girl, i was so upset i began drinking soon we were both silly and loud. On the way home he pulled off to the road and tried to get on me and he litterally pushed me out of the car hitting me hard and screaming. i thought it was just because he was drunk and stoned i mean how could i even think about it, he wasnt..him. im a christian. i walked home in the dark. I begged his forgivness the next day we went to hishouse and he sat down in a big chair and we were playing around when he said DANCE DIRTY FOR ME!! i stopped in my tracks, i was scared. i just blurted out i cant and tried to leave and he grabbed my arm and put his hand over my mouth and.. raped me, he was throwing me around he knocked over a lamp as it shattered i could see my ripped pants and shirt. when he was through he slapped me across the face and drug me to the door. i ran home as fast as i could with tears running down my face but i wanted so badly to go back to his house and appoligize and hope he forgave me. i couldnt tell me mom. never, i was so ashamed because it was my fault. how could i explane my black eye and swollen face, ripped clothes, smudged teary makeup.. i felt so used. but it was my fault i guess was i teasing him? i left a note in his locker the next day and he called and was so sorry he was crying. the next few days were like a dream. he lost control a couple times and hit me and slapped me but it was my fault hes so busy with everything, i couldnt blame him. we went to many partys and got drunk and we had s*x a lot without a condom and he hurts me during it hes so rough, thats not love.. could it be?, i wanted to go to church and repent as much as possible but i felt to worthless and dirty to even ASK for gods forgivness. i missed my period and got worried but not too worried with all thats was going on i thought i was just irregular. i missed my next moth's period too and i was so scared i bought a pregnancy test.. and sure enough it was a tiny little pink "+" i was mortified.. like how could i tell him? would he hit me? how could i tell my mom without her throwing me away like garbage. i pretended to be sick, grounded, anything to avoid him. finally i told him i had to talk to him. we went to his house and he just grabbed my arm with such a force and pulled me close to him, i knew what he thought i wanted. what HE wanted. i screamed and pushed him away so hard he almost lost balance and he said with cleanched teeth "you shouldnt have dont that *****" and he slapped me, and i screamed as loud as i could IM PREGNANT! and he was like No way. and im like yes i am and i want u to stay with me and help me to decide what to do.. and he said WE? for all i know it could be someone elses child, he punched me hard in my stomach and i dropped to my knees. and he slapped me and kicked me and said WHAT DO U EXPECT? that we'd just get married and id give up my whole life for.. YOU?? i tried begging for his forgivness and he said save the sad **** for your baby. he didnt even bother to drag me out he just left in his car, i walked outside and just collapsed.

That ending was just yesterday. Help me?? im two months pregnant.

ADVISE?? PLEASE?? im so hurt,

Answer 1

none of this was your fault.

not at all.

you shouldn't think for a second that what he's done to you, stemmed from anything you've done.

I don't know you and i don't know him

but don't stay with him. He'll hurt you for the rest of your life

and he doesn't deserve you for a second if he doesn't appreciate you.

Just because he's older and more popular, don't think he's better than you.

HES NOT.

about the baby? no matter what you decide to do in the end

(which should be your decision) you should tell your mother about it.

about everything. How he hurt you and especially how you want to repent.

I can't tell you exactly what to do, only you know what's right for you, but i'm pro choice.

but being honest with your family will help. I know it will be terrifying. but if they love you, they'll come to understand.

honey, just know that you deserved better than what you got,

that he's nothing, HES the dirt, HES the worthless one.

Answer 2

well i checked out your myspace and your bi and it said you were single.. so i think you are lying. and it said you like to write.. Good story!

Answer 3

if you got prego because he raped you,

then get an abortion.

if you want to keep the child,

be my guest, just never talk to that stupid piece of **** a*****e guy.

hes trailer trash and wasnt raised right.

a*****e

this sshit pisses me off

Answer 4

Sweetie based on your answer to another pregnant yahoo user, you said you already had your baby and are 15 years old!  How are we supposed to believe this story now that it makes no sense compared to your answer?  I sense you are really having problems but if you don't tell the truth and start there, no one can help you.  You need to sit down with a councilor, your minister or someone else that you trust and have a very long talk.  Good luck!

EDIT:  Here is the exact text from your answer exactly one day ago:  

lol

chill n rub ur tummy. i had my baby at 14 and i have ADD major depression bipolar disorder, and OCD. if i can do it, u can. JUST use will power. im now 15 with a beautiful HEALTHY baby girl.

Answer 5

omg I want to cry from hearing this he's a stupid little b*****d that just used you as his s*x toy sorry that sounds harsh but you need to go break up with him HE RAPED U. I'm 14 as well and don't have a boyfriend and don't plan on getting one untill I get out of highschool. If anything he should be apologizing and obviosly he's not sorry because he keeps hurting you. It's not your fault you need to tell the police. Honestly if you don't he can abuse so many other girls and in 20 years he'll be on dateline on how he abuses and beats his wife and how he lost control and murdered her( do you want that to be you. Come on you have a life to live. I enjoy life boyfriend free with my friends and go tithe mall and sleepovers. and he's a chyco freak he needs to go to JUV or else some one else will go threw the same thing your going threw rite now. You can save yourself from this situation. Tell somebody your mom,a teacher, any adult , I promise they'll help you there are even websites and hotlines that will help you. He doesnt love toy and do you honestly think your going to marry someone that beats and rapes you. That most girls worst nightmares. Remember one a rapist and abuser always a rapidt and abuser. God I hate him please I know it will be hard but you have to tell your mom , she will find out when your stomach is out a foot long. How in the he'll will a 14 year old girl raise a baby. You need to to to his house kick him in the balls and tell him your gonna regret what you did to me. Cuz if that was me ( I'm also a cristian by the way) I would have left him at the first signs of abuse .

I'll pray for you

Really think about what I just said

Please tell someone you can't do this on your own

Bye for now

Answer 6

uhhmmm is this a joke?

Answer 7

Here's what you do.

You tell your mother everything that happened. Your mother will help you through this. She is your mother. She loves you more than anything in the world. Your parents will always love you more than anyone else will love you.

Second, you call the Police and you get that abusive little **** landed in jail.

Answer 8

Take waht you have written to your mother or doctor, a teacher, or a friends parents - GO TO SOMEONE AND TELL THEM WHAT IS HAPPENING!! Then go to the police. He raped you and he assaults you. That is not love. And it is illegal. You are too young to know how to handle a situation such as this and I suggest you speak to someone as soon as possible. You need help here and there are people out there who can give it to you.

You don't have long.

Good luck.

Answer 9

No matter what you think, it's not your fault! He was the one that practically tricked you into getting drunk and then having s*x with him all those times! Don't beat yourself up about it, because it wasn't your fault. What you need to do is confide in someone you trust more than anyone. If not your parents, then your best friend or someone along those lines. Then, call the cops on him! I know you love him, but what he did was illegal and downright disgusting. This guy needs to be brought to justice for what he's done to you. As for the baby, I think you should do what makes you feel best, whether it be abortion, raising it, or giving it up for adoption. And if you do decide to keep it, get child support from it's father. I wish you the best of luck in these trying times =].

Answer 10

Well for one u rly need to talk to ur mom, dad, sibling, counselor, anyone about all of this. u rly should notify the police about everything. and dont ask for his forgiveness. this guys seems like a total piece of **** and im sure u could have done better. dont go back to him...ever. getting pregnant was both of ur faults but u rnt responsible for being raped and beat up so stop acting like ur such a ad person bc ur not. ur 14 and u do still hav a life ahead of u. tell at least ur mom about the baby. keep the baby and them give it up for adoption. it deserves a better home and u deserve a second chance. ditch the **** sucker and move on. u have more important things to do then wait around for that low life. good luck  

Answer 11

way to long but if he is abusive leave him. dont be a dumb ***. and about the baby dont abort it. suck it up. carry the baby for nine months and either take care of the baby as a single mom or give it up for adoption but dont bring a baby up around an abusive guy

Answer 12

ughhh I hare guys like that

and well, first, about u brieng pregnant

ur going to HAVE to tell ur mom

I doubt she'll kick u out, she's ur mom and she will always love u, no matter what

I just suggest that u DONT abort, that's like the worst thing ever

and s***w ur bf

and all this is NOT ur fault, ok its not

the only think u should have done was told him

Well anyways, try to forget him

its harder than it sounds... But ull be better off with someone else

And, well I hope everything works out

Answer 13

tell your mom and go to the police

Answer 14

This is NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT your fault!!!!!!!!!!  No matter what you said, did, looked, wore, thought, felt - you did NOT cause this!!!  I am so sorry you are being so hurt.  But unless you leave him, this will not stop.  You can't control him or stop him from hurting you - only he can do that - but if you are around him then you are exposing yourself to the risk that he will hurt you, and all signs indicate that he most definitely will again.  He is dangerous, disrespectful, unloving, and violent.  That is NOT good for you or for the baby.  I know you may feel like you need his forgiveness, a lot of abused girls and women feel that way, but you did NOT do anything wrong and he should be asking for YOUR forgiveness because he has trespassed against you and violated you.  That is not only immoral, it is also illegal.  You do have the right to report him to the police.  I know it might be so very hard to do.. but what he did and continues to do is illegal.  And he may have also done it to other girls.  If he hasn't yet, then in much likelihood he will... it's a horrible cycle.  He has a SERIOUS problem and he needs help.  

I hope you also seek help from a trusted adult - you seem uncomfortable speaking with your mom about it, is there perhaps an aunt, teacher, counsellor, coach, mentor, neighbour, older cousin, etc. that you are able to speak to?  I know it is so hard and that you feel ashamed - but I want to say again that you did nothing wrong and although you feel ashamed, you are not dirty and you do not have anything to be ashamed about... you were attacked and it was not your fault.  I think you may benefit from speaking to someone about this... it is a lot of pain to carry in you, along with the stress of being pregnant.. you will need to reach out sooner or later either way, and the sooner you do it with a pregnancy, the better.. even if you decided you did not want to keep the baby (in case that is an option for you, though I'm not saying you should or shouldn't), it will be good to have support through that too.  

I wish you all the best and am sending you love and light.  You deserve to be treated with pure kindness and respect always.  Please leave this guy, he is dangerous and does not know how to treat you in a loving way - and it is something that he needs to learn with professional help.. you can't change him.  So please, you deserve to be treated in a loving way - what is love?  pure kindness, patience, forgiveness, peacefulness, joy, wishing someone else well... it is not what he is exhibiting towards you (and it sounds like he is not capable of it right now).  So please treat yourself with love and surround yourself with people who will also treat you with love.  And remember, God loves you unconditionally and will always love you - I believe that wholeheartedly.. and I hope no matter what anyone may say, that you also will always believe it if you believe in God.  

Please take good care of yourself, I wish you all the best.  lots of love your way.  you will be in my prayers.

Answer 15

omg, i hope you are okay.

Why are you blaming yourself! this is clearly his fault.

don't abort the baby, maybe adoption because of your age.

leave him out of your life.

i don't know if you watch the secret life of the american teenager, but your boyfriend is just like the guy ricky lol

anyway just dump him

Answer 16

wow! this sounds just like a book that i read, Annes baby (or is it annies baby) well anyway thats crazy.

i say you go to the police, and have a serious talk with your mother.

hope i helped =]

Answer 17

THAT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! None of it was!

LEAVE HIM NOW!! GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM WAHT HE HAS DONE TO YOU!!!

Tell your mum or your preist everything! They will help u.

NEVER GO BACK TO THAT B*ST*RD!!!

Answer 18

you have friends, this is where they help you...

consider abortion, soon!..check online for the nearest place where they can help you abort. to abort a child you don't need parents approval...they don't even need to know.

-sorry to say this.....it's best for you, i mean, he doesn't love you he won't love the baby, your parents would be ashame...

don't ruin you life for this

as much as the baby deserves a chance, you can't even take care of yourself.

Answer 19

Sweetheart, this in NOT your fault.  You have nothing to apologize for.  You need to talk to your mom or some other trusted adult.  It is classic for the abuser to put the blame on his victim, but please I beg you don't fall for his garbage.  He will only continue to hurt you both physically and emotionally.  You mom will probably be disappointed, but I am sure she loves you and will help you.  He needs to be in jail.

Answer 20

you need to tell someone about this. none of that was your fault,  s*x without consent is rape, and even if you had been teasing him, he had absolutely no right to force you into anything.  take that a**hole to court and make sure you get child support from that jerk

Answer 21

omg no u cant abort the child its taking away an innocent life! And i would so call the police and have that boy in jail or something like that! U are a human being not just a piece of garbage! Never i repeat NEVER go back to that freak! U do not need to say that u are sorry!

It is that jerks fault in the first place! Stay away like far away from him! He would hurt u and your child! U need to tell your mom she will understand and can help you deal with this! Just dont abort it because it is a very bad thing to do! If your parent aborted you then u would be here right now! But that jerk does not even deserve you if u need any more help or support then just mssge away! =) i hope it all turns out welland that that jerk goes to jail! i will be praying for you!

Answer 22

i agree with NYC Piceswoman08--you`re making this all up just to get attention, or just to get a rise out of other people.   very dramatic, in a lame sorta way.....