14 month old tantrums???

Question

What do you do when a 14 month old constantly throws tantrums??I swear he is going through his terrible 2's already. Everyone that knows him comments on his behavior and how stubborn he is. My Mom and Grandma always tell me, you have it in for you, hes going to give you a run for your money. If there is something he wants that he cant have he screams bloody murder. And now hes alreadt starting to hit and swing at you when he wants something. If hes going towards something or has something hes shouldnt have and you have to take it away or pick him up, he screams and hits. I just dont know what to do because hes obly 14 months old. What do you do when they throw tantrums at this age??? Also, some people told me never to let him cry things out at this age, but what else do you do?? If hes being a stinker and not getting his way, then what?? If Im not supposed to let him cry it out , then what?? He is a little stinker, and if he doesnt get what he wants when he wabts it, he throws a tantrum. I need some advice please. What do you do with a 14 month old who throws tantrums? And for the poeple who say, never let him cry it out, hes too young, then please tell me what else im supposed to do.

Answer 1

Ignore the tantrums.  When he becomes physically abusive (hitting kicking) put him in his bedroom with a child gate in his doorway.  The head banging will cease if you don't make an issue of it.  It is designed to get your attention which of course winds up in him getting his way.  The name "terrible twos" is a misnomer, It is the "average" age toddlers go through this phase.  They can start shortly after the 1st birth day and as late as the 4th year.  When my kids would through tantrums I would simply walk away.  

Answer 2

Since he is still a baby, spanking is sort of out of the question. You need to say loudly and clearly "No! You do NOT act like this!" Tell him twice. Give him a 15 minute time out. Sometimes, when they don't stay, leashes help. You can sit down and put a leash on him so he will stay. If he hits, kicks and screams, give him one hard spank on the bum, which will get his attention, and only hurt for a minute. Then send him to bed. Say, "Since you are acting like a young baby, you willl get treated like one." Pick him up in a cradling position and put him to bed. Say "Little babies need naps so here is your nap." Treat him like a young baby and he will get tired of it and stop."

Answer 3

Tantrums at this age or not necessarily abnormal.  He's probably throwing a fit of anger because he knows that he will get what he wants if he does it....right?

It's ok.  Break the cycle now though because if he's having tantrums at 14 months, watch out when he'll be 3, 4 or even 10 years old...

He has a tantrum because he wants something and can't have it, well let him cry it out.  Why not?  As long as he is safe, let him freak out.  Ignore him as much as possible and don't give him attention.  Whatever you do, do not give him what it is he wants.  Put it away and that is that!

If he starts hitting or being violent then you have to give him a time out.  Sit him on a bench or chair, preferably in the kitchen where he can hear the microwave.  Rule of thumb of a time out is 1 minute per age of the child.  Give him 1.5 minutes sitting on his bench and put the timer on the microwave, that way he'll hear it.  At his age, you will definately have to hold him sitting down because he won't understand what you are doing.  I can guarantee you though that he will catch on quickly.  You need to be firm and calm.  

Time outs work well and before you know it, he will stop being aggressive.

Good luck with this!

Answer 4

let him sit there and scream. If possible, tell him to calm down and you will tell him why things happened the way they did. For example, if he has something he shouldn't, take it away. when he starts throwing his fit, tell him to calm down, then tell him, very simply, why he cant have it. I have a very stubborn child too, and that works 8 out of 10 times with her, the only times it doesn't work is if she is just to tired to give a d**n what I have to say. Also, try distraction. Take away what he cant have, find something he can, like a fave toy or something. distract him with that, he will quickly forget about what he is screaming about. When my daughter hits, I either give her a light smack on the hand or hold her hands down and tell her NO HITTING, and tell her she wouldn't like it if someone came to her and hit her.  

Answer 5

My daughter went through a short phase like that about that age and I actually would put her in her room and walk out.  I told her every time she did it that when she could talk nice to mommy she could come out.  She is now almost two and we have very few tantrums at all because she knows if she throws one it has to be in her room because Mommy isn't going to tolerate it.  IF we are out in public and she throws a tantrum we just calmly stop what we are doing and go to the restroom and sit until she can talk nicely again and then try again.  You have to let them cry it out because they need to learn that you aren't going to rescue them when they are naughty.  Good Luck,

Momma_Bear

PS - I never shut her bedroom door just left her in there to think about it and if she wanted to cry at least I knew she was safe.

Answer 6

Usually, not letting them cry theory applies to night-time and not leaving them alone in a crib in a dark room.

My daughter is 16 months old and started this at about the same time as your son.  Fun fun fun!!!  When my daughter has a tantrum, I let her go.  I make sure she is in a carpeted area (if possible) so she can't hurt herself (she tends to throw herself on the floor and hit her head).  And i just let her go.  I stay nearby but I don't pay too much attention, just give her words for her feelings (i.e. you are very angry, upset, etc.).  Usually the tantrums are a result of not getting what she wants (i.e. a cookie just before dinner).  I will also try to redirect her to something she likes, such as going outside or a favourite toy.  sometimes, nothing works and I just wait until it ends.  

There is not much you can do other than ignoring it (but making sure they are safe) and redirection.  DO NOT GIVE IN.  consistency is key right now.  He's too young for time-outs despite what some people say (some people will tell you to spank a baby!).  

Good luck!  Remember that this is a phase that virtually all children go through sooner or later.

Edit - How in God's name do people like Marilyn become foster parents???  And a Nanny????  Yikes.

Edit - "At his age, you will definately have to hold him sitting down because he won't understand what you are doing".  Thanks for proving my point that time-outs at this age do not work because they do not have the capacity to understand or remember what they did and why it was wrong, or the concept of a time-out