14 year age difference!?

Question

is it wrong for a 31 year old man to be in a serious relationship with a 17 year old woman? now the 17 year old woman is emancipated, very mature and has a 1 and a half year old daughter. and he is a hard working man who is a great father role in the babys life. im not looking for judgement.... just looking to hear everyones oppinion. it is not illegal for the fact the 17 year old is emancipated. no he is not only in the relationship for s*x. he is a very sweet guy and treats her very good. what is your oppinion on the fact there is a 14 year age difference?

Answer 1

The guy I'm married to is 12 years and 2 months older than me. He is my Soul mate, my best friend, I'm so in love with him and we've been together just shy of two years and I keep loving him more and more. We met when I was about 21 and he was 33. I'm very mature for my age as well and have always been attracted to older guys, and them to me, (i developed early and thank god i had enough sense to not date until I was about 16 and refused to fool around until I was over 18, I probably would have got pregnant by some a hole or raped or both) I almost didn't date him cause the guy a dated before him was 14 years older than me and just about drove me crazy with how bad he ended up treating me, (he was too good to be true at first, what he would say was too corny but sweat and turned out to be an act he kept up for over 8 months!! I didn't think anyone could keep up a lie for that long,  yeah I should have listened to my gut and took that saying to heart, "if it's too good to be true than it is too good to be true." I thought these guys must be too old for me maybe I should date someone younger but I'm glad I didn't keep thinking that. Do you both really care about each other?, respect each other?, make sure that you treat each other with love and kindness? It's all up to you guys then.

Answer 2

i dont think its wrong. You said its not illegal so, just do what makes you and your daughter happy. If he treats you and your daughter good then thats all that matters. My cousin had a relationship like yours but the age difference was only 10 years. They broke up though. If you and him are serious about this relationship then dont let anyone tell you its wrong. Because obviously you make each other happy.  :)

Answer 3

there is nothing wrong with it. you aint some little innocent girl. if he is a good man, is good to you and your child, then where is the issue?  

Answer 4

i don't see 1 thing wrong with it [:  

Answer 5

i would be careful and cautious... would wonder what 31 year-old would even talk to a 17 year-old...i would worry about his intentions and worry about how he may manipulate and control the situation because of his age and maturity advantage...i would be very wary of the situation.  my husband is that age and would never even talk to someone who is 17...it makes me wonder.

Answer 6

hey if the relationship is good, than age is nothing but a number..and theres nothing wrong with it

Answer 7

well im 12 and my parents are 16 years apart.

dad: 54

mom: 39

They pretty much grew up together and they are very much in love.

Answer 8

Well, I think they would be at vastly different points in their emotional development, their career paths, and their experiences.  Those differences might not seem to matter now, but at some point they will.  What happens if she decides at age 30 that she wants another child?  He will be 44 - not too old by any means, but maybe ready to think about enjoying more midlife freedom.  What happens if she wants to go to away to college, and he's ready to settle down and buy a home and a nice car?  How will they pay for all that?  What happens when she gets that first job offer after graduation - but it's 1000 miles away, and he's in his most productive years in his current career?  Those aren't insurmountable problems, but they may make some of the challenging life stages and transitions even more difficult than usual.  This couple should talk at length about these kinds of things before they commit to spending their lives together.  

Answer 9

Well in my opinion, that's  ******* nasty but hey, u know wat they say "age is nothing but a number" =) (maybe it's just me, but yea)

Answer 10

you need to forget about it. my neighbors were just about the same and it ended in a MESSY divorce and some restraining orders.

Answer 11

I think it's fine. :] If he makes you happy then he's perfect. :]

Answer 12

I dont see any problem with it.. if you are happy and if you care about each other than its wonderful.. more power to you.  

Dont let what anyone says get to you.. its none of their business..

Congratulations on having found someone to love.

                                                                      ~ Ren

Answer 13

legally yes. even tho most states have the age of consent at 16 there are still rules about s*x until you get to 18. then you can s***w anyone you want aslong as its legal. whatever floats your boat tho i guess

Answer 14

well the circumstances are a little different but my parents have a 14 year age difference between them also. They have been married for a little more than 20 years now and are still in love with each other :) I hope this relationship will work out for the couple but if it doesn't it doesn't mean the age difference was their downfall, BEST OF LUCK!!

Answer 15

i don't see anything wrong with it. i like a guy who's 7 years older than me & i'm 16. he doesn't know that i like him, but just the fact that i like him makes me feel there's hope for me if i put in the effort. go on with your relationship & don't let anyone tell you otherwise

Answer 16

I am a firm believer in the "age CAN be nothing but a number" theory. My only concern would be maturity on the mans part.

In these type of situations I ask myself why a thirty-something year old even has anything in even in common with a teenager -- does he lack maturity or responsibility more typical of his age?

If the answer is honestly "no" and commonalities are found between the two people involved because she is mature (as having a baby tends to do :) then I, personally, would just proceed cautiously. What do you have to lose?

Answer 17

I'm not sure what kind of answer you're looking for. I mean if your happy and your family has no problem with it & your daughter is happy & well taken care of I don't see a problem with it. It seems like you are looking for approval from a bunch of people you don't know to make you feel like you are doing the right thing in your life. I'm not quite sure what you two talk about I would imagine it's hard to talk about things that happened or went on in our generation (I'm 30). I don't however have a personal problem with it & wish you both the best of luck!