14 year old girl caught lying..., what should i do?

Question

my 14 year old told me she was at her friends house, a girl... when in fact she was at a boys house alone. she took my 6 year old daughter with her and told her to lye to me about where they were. the 6 year old told me not to say anything because she will harrass her about it when i am not around. they stay together all day while i am at work. what gets me upset is that i give my kid the freedom to date and to hang out with boys and she still lied. i think she lied cause this boy has a girlfriend and i am totally against that sort of thing. what should i do? i am tired of punishing her over petty things.. but i want her to respect my rules. and lying is against all that i believe.

Answer 1

ok at first you said you give your daughter the freedom to date but then you said that you are against boyfriends?

Answer 2

ground her. absolutely. my mother never stood for lying and all of my privileges were taken away. The privileges I had were based on her trust, when I lied, I betrayed that trust. I had to earn it back.

Answer 3

give her the s*x leads to babies talk. then tell her that she's not allowed to leave the house while you're away or you'll get a babysitter. make sure you call ahead to where she's going and make sure there are going to be parents there. my mom didn't let me go anywhere unless she knew the people.. we always just had people over here. i wouldn't trust her for awhile.. don't let her know you know.. thats the key.. it scares the c**p out of us because we don't know whether you do or not..

Answer 4

yell at her and take something that she really loves away 2 like a week

Answer 5

Personally I am against dating before the age of 16. I would ground her for 1 month and take away her cell phone and computer for 2 months. This is hardly a petty thing, I would say lying and most certainly what she lied about are very serious things.

Answer 6

I'm going to be honest and frank simply because you asked.  I hope not to offend you.

Your daughter is 14.  You are leaving her with the responsibility of a 6 year old for the entire day.  You can't really blame her when she should be enjoying her summer and her youth but is instead having to watch your child.  If you give a 14 yr old the responsibilities of an adult, she will act like an adult, which may include going to a boy's house alone.

Put the both of them in day care or a day camp at the YMCA.  The day camps at the YMCA are income based and inexpensive.

Good luck.

PS: I wholeheartedly agree with the person who said if you are punishing her over petty things she will do worse things since she is going to get punished anyway.

Answer 7

Send that punk to Juvi

Answer 8

well you have to confront her.

maybe let her know that hanging out with guys is okay but she has to tell you-- otherwise it could be dangerous.

you should not let her go out for awhile.

you HAVE to do something to set an example for the 6 year old. what she did was wrong and she was lying. it should not go unsaid

Answer 9

why dont you say that you are going to call her every 30 min.

then you could say that you wanted to talk to her friend or whatever

sooner or later shell proably break down instead of hiding it

Answer 10

Ignore it for now, as a 14 year old myself, I think its important to have some freedom, Just try and squeeze the truth out of her next time she says she is going somewhere.

Make her now she has freedom.

Answer 11

Punished her because she is only 14!What will happen to her in the future?

Answer 12

Your daughter is to young to be playing around with boys like that anyway...you should not even let her date at that age its a joke...it will hurt her in the long run.

As for the other problem the answer is simple...

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.  Proverbs 29:15

I hope this helps.

Answer 13

paddle her behind

Answer 14

Lying is serious (not petty) and needs to be addressed.  It is a trust issue.  Part of your problem is that is seems you are a little too permissive with her.  She is 14 she should not be dating yet  on a 1 to 1 basis.  Be her parent and not her friend.  If she did this, what other situations is she taking your 6 yo into? What is she doing when she does not have her sister? If she lies about this she will lie about other things. Please address it before it's too late.

Answer 15

Why would you let your 14 year old date???? that is the problem she knows that she can go out with boys that is why she is doing this!!!!!

Answer 16

I don't think it's petty.  She lied to you and you need to discipline her, plain and simple.  Ban her from seeing this boy or any other boys until she is responsible and mature enough to handle these types of relationships.

Answer 17

act cool and tell her not to do it again. she will feel like you feel that she is responsible enough to not do it again so she won't.

I AM RIGHT. to all you adults that think this is wrong. If you act like a friend she will be like a friend. And what do friends do? BE HONEST AND LOYAL. she is too old for punishments, punishments will make her a rebel.

Answer 18

ground her and tell her you found out another way duh

Answer 19

i would say dont punish her too hard because then she might think that she doesnt have the freedom to han with boys and then start lying more. just make it clear to her that if she does it again then she will be in alot more trouble.

Answer 20

send her to a camp

or let her hang with her guy friend but at like a beach so everyone can see what they are doing

Answer 21

14? puberty? speak to her about the problem and keep her away from her boyfriend. if he has another girlfriend then she may be a part of the aftermath and that may start conflict

Answer 22

Just sit her down and talk to her. The best punishment isn't physical abuse; it's giving you're daughter a talk.

Answer 23

don't let her out of the house..

Answer 24

i think u should punish her 4 lying and taking ur daughter and making her lie. and dont respect her rules if here safety or ur other daughters safety is at risk.

Answer 25

turn to god first then u will find the solution to ur problem

Answer 26

You said you punish her over petty things, so maybe she lost respect for you as well and dont care what rule she breaks of yours because if she gets in trouble for something petty, she thinks she might as well get in trouble for something that is "worth while" for her.

Answer 27

Aww. You should punish her before things get anyworse.

remember* shes only 14, think of her future.

Answer 28

I would also point out that she is teaching your 6 yo to be selfish and unethical by not only not following your rules but asking the younger kid to lie about it.  Get her to think about the social implications of her actions.

Answer 29

Threaten to send her to day care or hire a nanny.

Answer 30

Punish her, and let her know that if she is ever caught doing that, or anything like that again, she wont date until she's out of your house.

Also, just in case, get her on a form of birth control and teach her about contraseptives. You can't ALWAYS be around, and if, god forbid, she's going to, make sure she does it right.

Answer 31

Tell her that you want her to respect your rules and she should have told you were she was going.

she shouldnt have got your 6 year old to lie to you

either. I wold punish her for that but as far as going to

a lads house its perfectly normal. Have you even thought

that they could be friends?

Good luck