14y/o pregnant sister, what can I do?

Question

So, my little sister is pregant apparently. There is NO way she can take care of it but she wants to keep it because she "loves kids and she's been babysitting for years" so she can "handle it". Her and her bf (same age) are both grade 8 dropouts, and spend all their time stealing from our parents, partying, and smoking pot. My parents are busy and not financially able to take on another kid...and her and her bf don't work (he has a criminal record to boot).

She also, my mom told me, plans to quit drugs.... "maybe next week." I know she want to still play and have fun, and of course, she's still a kid... I don't think they realizes how much she'll have to sacrifice... He won't likely stay with her forever cuz he want to play around too...naturally

I can't see keeping it working out at all, and I want to talk to her and be a support for her, but I don't even know what her options are....and advice from someone who's been in a similar situation would be much appritiated! Thanks

Answer 1

you can call child protective services

Answer 2

She needs an abortion. I am usually 99% against this but the baby has pot in it's system. It has no parental figures to look up to. It will be miserable and will probably die with birth defects from the pot.

Answer 3

do NOT listen to sheepless wonder.

a baby exposed to pot does not automatically cause birth defects.  the fetus is very tough and many women take drugs (whether legal or not) early in the pregnancy because they dont even realise they are pregnant yet and go on to have perfectly healthy babies.

adoption or keeping the baby in the family would be the best options.  abortion is not the best option.

Answer 4

smoking pot??!!!! at that age? thats not good! how old are you? what will she name it?

Answer 5

d**n, I'm sorry to hear about the situation at home.

The way I see it, there are 3 options here: 1) she keeps the baby (really, your mom keeps it), or 2) she gets an abortion, or 3) she gives it up for adoption. Of *course* lil' sis is going to continue partying, what do you think is going to happen *duh*. Little girls think of babies as if they were dolls: "Oh, I can feed her and change her diaper and it'll be so much fun!" She surely doesn't understand that babysitting the neighbor's kids is fun for a couple of hours, but mothering is a 24-hour-a-day job and you can't just go home when you get tired... and she WILL get tired, and then most likely she isn't going to just magically grow up suddenly; instead the baby will get pawned off on you or your parents while lil' sis goes out and parties, or worse, she might just party around the baby.

Options two and three are sounding like very good ideas. But of course she doesn't want to do that. Maybe you know a couple of young moms that have it really bad; the boyfriend is disappeared or in jail, and mom is miserable caring for the kid(s) alone or sharing the duties with disgruntled Grandma... take her to meet these ladies; have them talk your sister down. If you don't know any, meet some through friends... everyone knows one or two of these. It might scare her enough to see the light.

Or your mom can just tell her that no infants are allowed in the house and she'll have to move out with the father if she wants to keep it. They're 14, where the heck are they gonna move to? I doubt his parents will allow a 14-year-old girlfriend to move in. Or they might, but eventually of course there will be a fight and lil' sis will come crawling back home. This is sure to happen before the birth of the baby. And when it does happen, your mom can repeat the "no infants allowed" rule and lil' sis will have to choose adoption. Then a very nice infertile suburban couple can have the baby they always dreamed of, and your sister can have a chance at a normal childhood.

P.S. if your sister does drugs, I would have her put in a rehab RIGHT AWAY, considering she's PREGNANT... wtf... She needs rehab anyway. She needs to get back to school; it's not even legal for 14-year-old kids to be out of school, and if the state found out they would put her in juvenile hall for truancy and your parents would be charged with child neglect. At least in rehab they teach her good habits and force her to go to school.

P.P.S. birth defects from marijuana are not common, and on the off chance that they do happen, they're minor, like lowered birth weight or learning delays. Still, who wants to take that risk?

Answer 6

eat your sister... i wouldn't... but it sounds like it would solve a lot of problems

Answer 7

i think although she will probably get mad at you, you should tell your parents they'll probably be mad at her, but they'll have to do something

Answer 8

My main concern is the fact that she uses drugs and is currently pregnant. Your parents cannot kick her out of the house because she is under age. She ca. n get government assistance for the baby but not for herself unless your parents income is low. I was 15 when I became pregnant with my daughter. My boyfriend did not support me and I was on my own other than my parents support. Having a baby (once it is born) will make you grow up quickly.The only thing you can do is support her and hope that she turns her life around. Your parents need to seek help from law enforcement if necessary to get her off drugs because this will cause major birth defects. My daughter is 11 years old now and I wouldn't have changed a thing :)

Answer 9

Get help to keep her healthy and help her by supporting her decision and be there when she realizes its a bigger thing than she really thought.Later she may change her mind. Who knows parenthood changes you and she might grow up when she has a baby to care for.