15 & pregnant !! help please?

Question

Went to the doctors yesterday and I'm pregnant.My family basically hates me now...

what do i do?

where do i go for help?

the father of the baby dosent want anything to do with me

HELPPP

Answer 1

If I were you I would talk with your family. Say it was a mistake and you understand it was wrong. Even though I am for abortions I hate when they have to happen. I personally wouldnt abort. I would tell your parents that this would be your grandchild and do you really want him to be killed? Or if you give for adoptions ask your parents if they really could live knowing their grandchild is out their somewhere. I would keep but if your family really doesn't want a baby and you don't want it then I guess adoption is ok. But personally I couldn't live knowing my kid is out their somewhere, especially when you grow up. I would also go to counseling about it and you could even sue the father because he has to help since its his kid also.

Answer 2

This is tough. First you should talk to your family and apologize or something. not that you have to but just to clear the air for them. You should also decide if you are going to get an abortion, raise the baby yourself, or if you're going to put the baby up for adoption. Then you should go to the doctor again and talk to them like alone or something if you need help. The father of the baby i don't know if there's anything you can do about him, he should probably take responsibility for the baby along with you. I hope i helped and best of luck to you!

Answer 3

1st decision is whether to have the baby or not.

2nd think is to try to understand why your family is upset.  usually it's becuase they know you are not prepared to support and care for a baby and you will not be able to finish school like they hoped for you and they are concerned because your life will be SOOOO hard as a single parent.  they are very disappointed, because now they have to change their hopes and dreams for you.  

you have to decide if you are going to have an abortion, put the baby up for adoption or keep it.  if you keep it, you have to think about how to support it and raise it.  will be tough at 15 without any help from the father or your parents.  abortion costs money now, which you may not have.  go to a school counselor or local planned parenthood.  if you want to keep the baby, go to one of those 'birth choice' places.  look in the phone book.  talk to your parents.  tell them how you feel.  listen to how they feel.  try to understand them and heal that relationship.  you need them.

Answer 4

Wow...

you shouldn't have had s*x. or at least used a condom and/or

birth control. Your family can't hate you forever. They'll have to

accept your idiotic choices. Talk to a counselor at school and talk

to your doctor. If your going to keep it (i recommend you should :D)

you must go on prenatal care.  You could keep the baby for yourself,

put up for adoption, or abort. But I suggest you don't abort. It's wrong

and theres a chance it can give you cancer. Its your fault and fathers

fault it's there. Not the baby's. So don't abort. Usually teen fathers

don't want to do anything with the baby. You should of thought of

that. Well good luck and don't worry it'll be fine :D.

Answer 5

do you want the baby?

that's the question.

you need to figure out if you're going to get an abortion, give it up for adoption, or keep it.

you'll have troubles keeping it because if your parents hate you, they won't pay for it.

same thing for the father.

if i were you i would get an abortion.

i believe if you search online there's a teen helpin that you could call.

Answer 6

I don't know where you live so I can't specifically point you towards any organizations that are there to help you.  Go back to your doctor and ask them for referalls to all the things that are available to you.  It is a very sad world when a girls parents turn on her at a time like this.  That is something we have instilled in our daughters (who are both your age)...that if they ever find themselves pregnant that we are NOT going to turn our backs on them...we will be here to help them.   They will have to take responsability for the consequeses of their actions but we will support them.  

Your doctor will be able to help you...weather it is to get an abortion, pub your child up for adoption or to raise it.  I hope your parents come around, grow up and be the parents they are supposed to be.

In the meantime...please email me ... if only to have someone to tell your troubles to.

Answer 7

I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant, my family responded the same way. Except I had been engaged to the father for about a year already. Your family will eventually come around to the idea of you having a baby, its tough. And there are going to be the ups and downs, trust me. It can be so challenging at times, but you have to remember that your going to be a mother, and love that child. My parents havent looked at my fiance or I the same sence Ive been pregnant, and they probably never will, its going to be hard on everyone. But I promice, God will give you the strenght to make it through. Good luck.

Answer 8

Im sorry to hear they are reacting like that. This is something they will especially your parents learn to deal with, but try talking with a relative or friend you trust, my mother went through this at 16 and it was hard but if you have someone close you can talk to it helps, If not try a local free clinic where you will get the prenatal care you need and can talk to your doctor. Good luck,everything will be okay believe me.

Answer 9

It's sad that your family isn't being supportive -- but they have every right to be angry with you.  They'll most likely get over it with time and you being alittle patient.  

Call Planned Parenthood - website is www.plannedparenthood.org and you can find your local PP on their site.   They'll counsel you about your choices and help you find an obstetrician - depending upon your choice.

You need a plan.  Are you going to keep the child?  Find an adoptive family? Have an abortion?  

If so, what steps do you need to take in order to do one of those things?

If you decide to have an abortion or get the baby adopted, planned parenthood can help you out a lot with either of those.

If you decide to keep the child, you need to stay in school or get homeschooled, possibly find child care so you can finish school (if you're family won't help), get a part time job, get on WIC so you eat right if your family makes less than a certain amount of money, etc.

The father is scared and probably an ***.   Have your parents tell HIS parents once your parents cool off.  His parents will either step up as grandparents or say "not my son!!" and later in life you may need a DNA test for support.  On the other hand, his parents may be pissed about his irresponsibility and buy the baby presents, make him get a job to help save money to help the baby, etc.

Another possibility with his parents, is if you want to give up the baby for adoption, they may want to adopt their grandchild.  

Don't deprive your baby's paternal grandparents the option of adopting the kid -- if you keep the baby and decide on adoption.

A teenage father has parents to answer to, too!  His parents need to know.

As far as emotional support goes..  Your friends -- the understanding ones, your mother once/if she cools off will have plenty of advice and soothing words, the school counselor may be a kind person for you to talk to, and if you really get overwhelmed your doctor might refer you to a therapist.

I wish you a lot of luck on this new uncertain road you are going to travel.  

Answer 10

Oh my god honey god bless you your family will always love you they are just surprised think if you were them and the babies father didn't care about you enough to wear a condom and if he did well i don't know ! My friend got pregnant when she was 13 and her parents weren't to happy about it and she had the baby and the father stuck by her but she loves that baby more than anybody so does her parents ! Her baby has a Liver Disease ! You will love that baby the first time you see it if your parents will help you with it keep it don't get aborting it put it up for adopting if you need to talk email me God Bless you

Answer 11

I'm sorry your family is not more helpful and supportive. Try to get a job if you can, at least some babysitting. Talk to an adult you trust. See if your city has a WIC (women, infants, and children) office. I don't think you have to be 18, but I'm not sure. They can help you get formula, milk, and food for you and the baby. I'm really sorry you're in this situation. Maybe in the future you will find a man who will take you and the baby in and care for you. Best wishes to you.

Answer 12

You should have though about all this before you had unprotected s*x...

But dont worry, its not all that bad.

I got pregnant at 16, i thought my father was going to murder me! He didnt, but was seriously disappointed as he knew i could acheive more in life.

I spent 9 months scared out of my mind...but when my baby came, i was definately a natural mother.

Everything just came so easy to me! And to be honest, its a struggle but i do LOVE it!

You have to be responsible and mature to keep and raise this baby...dont be an irresponsible mother..like so many teens out there!!

Its gona take work but you can do it!

If you need to talk or ask any questions at all....email me....i will get back to you promptly...

Best wishes for you and the baby x

Answer 13

Get an abortion or have the child and give it up for adoption.

Don't despair, either way there are free resources such as Planned Parenthood.

If you want my personal opinion, get an abortion.  No child should have to go through life with a father that'll never care for it and be bounced between foster homes and thrown into the abysmal youth and family services systems.  One less mouth to feed for a world already scraping bottom.

I'm sorry if it sounds callous, but IMHO, its probably for the best.  Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

* EDIT *

Before you give me a thumbs down...

A small cluster of cells is NOT a child.  It cannot survive on its own.  It does not have consciousness.  Simply because it is alive does NOT grant it the right to continue being so.

And to a greater end,  I don't know how any of you can give me a thumbs down when all mankinds problems today are caused by overpopulation...there's simply not enough to go around so everyone can have the kind of life that a fair portion of Americans lead.  What?  Do you want mankind to breed itself to death, strip the Earth clean of resources faster than they can be renewed and further environmental destruction?  Why?  Because of some ridiculous notion that every life is sacred or some animalistic maternal instinct, or worse yet, is it some equally inane religious philosophy?  Fewer people equals less resource demand and fewer problems.  Its got to start somewhere.   "God" is not going to solve our problems.  "God" never has.  Man has solved and caused all of his own problems.  We have to take responsibility for our species and not leave it to chance.  If fewer of us means lengthier overal survival of the species, than so be it.  In situations like this, we can not only limit human suffering in the long term, we can help the ongoing struggle of people everywhere.

Answer 14

you do realize, even 30 year old women analyze and think about having a child and believe they arent even ready.

so for a 15 year old to be pregnant, is a bit off.

since your asking questions like what do I do, where do i go for help yada yada yada...

you clearly aren't ready to have a child, those questions should have been answered long before the child was concieved.

i say think twice, maybe even 2390820938 times. But theres no point anymore, your pregnant.

since your family is pretty much going to abandon you I say get a job, yes work pregnant oh well suck it up by the 7th-9th month stop working.

and please, for your sake and the childs, stay in school. In society's eyes today, no education=no future.

Also a child isnt a toy, you have a living human growing in you, it's up to you to raise it.

don't get an abortion, lowest thing you can do to save your ***.

Think about adoption.

goodluck,

p.s. I'm also 15, i just tend to have more common sense.

Answer 15

OH SWEETIE...  this is a bad spot to be in.  please consider all the consequences of your choices.  your parents dont hate you--really-- they are scared for you.  this will change your whole life and when we parents have children, we want better for them than we had.  you need to make some adult choices here and there is no one better to help you than another adult.  you can choose: keep the baby, give the baby for adoption or abortion.  each of these has consequences and they will last a lifetime.  talk to your doctor or family planning.  there is no "right" answer, jsut an answer for what is right for you.

Answer 16

well it all starts with do you want to keep the baby ( abortion or adoption). In all honesty i would say keep the baby then give it to adoption. Your only 15, you don't have the funds nor a home to give to your baby. Your parents are probably in shock with the news but once you decide what your going to do you need to let them know. You can go to planned parenthood for help or even just confide in your best friend. You need support right now and that's the key. The fact that the father is not taking any responsibility for the child then that's one more thing that you are going to have to go through alone. Just remember it is illegal to do anything with out the father's consent. Get him to sign a piece of paper saying he wants nothing to do with the child.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 17

if your mom knows she should help you.

if not go to planned parenthood.com dont trust anyone else. other places trick u into abortion or trick you into keeping the baby.

i know abortion is bad, but u dont want to ruin ur life so young. if u dont want to kill the baby, but him/her up for adoption.

good luck, really.

e mail me if u want to talk more.

Answer 18

First of all dont panic babe, i know its a big deal but you do have choises.You could concider abortion or adoption. Being a teenage mum IS NOT easy, i was pregnant when i was 15,had my daughter at16, im 26 now and only getting my life back ontrack.

You have to think of all the things ul miss out on,and sounds harsh but what type of life you can offer a child.

I speak from experence think long and hard befor you decide to raise a baby alone.

If you want you can e-mail me, the link is on my profile pg or try speakin to some one older than you about it. (friends arnt always the best people for advice in this suituation)

Answer 19

You pretty much have 3 options....

you can have an abortion[if it's not too late]

you can put it up for adoption once it's born

or you can keep the baby and raise it.

Some advice...

-talk to your family dicuss your choice with them, but remember it's YOUR choice.

-if the father of your baby will not talk to you or anything...you can't make him see his kid but you can make him pay for it. [child support]

  

Places to seek help....

-planned parenthood

-your doctor

-your parents

-a school counsler

Congrats on the new child, and good luck with everything!

OH!

Next time find some sort of birth control and make the idiot put on a condom.

Answer 20

Well your stupid for having unprotected s*x at 15. Of course the father doesn't want to do anything with you, he doesn't want to help take care of the baby cuz boys are dumb like that. How many months has it been since you had s*x cuz if it has been like a month or less I'm pretty sure that you could get an abortion unless your religion is against that. So good luck with the baby.

  

Answer 21

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

type your zipcode in. get more info. dont abort it. have the baby. dont kill your future child. how would you feel if your parents thought about aborting you? you got life in you. dont be selfish, think about the baby and its future.

your parents will get over it eventually. once they see the baby and find out theyre grandparents, they'll soften up.

Answer 22

What do you want to do?

Do you want to keep this baby?

Can you handle being a mother?

Do you understand what it takes to be a parent both financially and emotionally?

These are questions that you need to ask yourself. The bottom line is that the decision on what to do about the baby is your decision and yours alone (considering that the father isn't talking to you.) Make sure that you do research on all options parenthood, adoption, abortion etc. Make an informed decision.

Don't worry about your family. They are just in shock. Give them some time to adjust and then they will hopefully help you with making an informed decision.

Answer 23

get a job and finish school. be the best mom you can be. usually men of any age (not just teens)arent around for their kids trust me my dad has never been there for me. everyone makes mistakes and im sure you family has made mistakes. just take care fo your responisbilities and dont put it in adoption or abort it

Answer 24

What did your family say? I wouldnt have it sweety youre 2 young. If you go in2 bigger cities (Miami, Atlanta) abortions are cheaper like $400 I think. Hurry up because after a certain time you are 2 far along & they wont give you 1. Get in contact with the guys family (assuming hes under 18) because this guy or his family should pay 4 it if they have any regaurd 4 their sons future child support payments will ruin his life, if he doesnt pay he will be in jail with no license & all his tax returns will be taken. DONT let it happen again!

Answer 25

You shouldn't of had s*x but that is too late, You family is in shock right now, give them a week of so to clam down and to think about the situation. There is a agency called planned parenthood website http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ that can help you with everything.

Good luck

Answer 26

okay well if you have been to the doctors then go back and ask for some help or is there anyone you can talk to about this...

also try and talk to your family..i mean was it a mistake or were you actually trying? although im 15 and i really wouldnt start thinking about a family quite yet!

go to the doctors or the family planning clinic( you should have one near you) if not check out family planning websites...

okay well just sit down and talk it over with your family and say if it was a mistake then it was mistake

also do you want to bring a baby up yet and doing yoru gcses?? i dont think i would but try and leave it for a while and try and think over what you REALLY want.

xx good luck

go to this website:

http://www.fpa.org.uk/ and http://www.ttfpa.org/young.html

Answer 27

Go to www.door.org. They are one of many places teens can turn to when they have nowhere else to turn. You can get counseling to decide on whether or not you want to keep the baby, and also to help deal with the struggles you'll go through with either decision.

I wish you the best of luck. Just stay strong and keep your head up. Remember that you can get through this.

Answer 28

do you want to keep the baby and raise it yourself?  if your family hates you, they won't help you raise it.  

options are:

1. raise it yourself

2.  give it up for adoption

I don't believe in abortion.  It's unhealthy for you and sad for the baby.

Answer 29

I wouldn't be proud of you either. Your life is messed up now, raising a kid is not as easy as people think or what you see on tv. And of course the father doesn't want anything to do with you I WOULD NOT EITHER. He only wanted the s*x. You should have thought before you did that, Cause it will be with you FOREVER. School will be tough. And you will loose your stand with your family and friends... How do I know all this? It happened to me. Do NOT get an abortion. THAT IS KILLING SOMEONE !!! Raise your baby or foster care. Never talk to that guy again. And try to be possitive. It will be hard. VERY HARD.

Answer 30

You have three options. Abortion, adoption, or keep the baby.  Noone else can tell you what to do. If your family isn't supportive, that really stinks.  Personally, I am pro-choice (woman's right to chose if she wants an abortion or not), but I think that's a very personal decision.  

There should be someone you can talk to at Planned Parenthood, they usually have some type of counselor there to talk to.  If you went to the doctor, they didn't give oyu a number of a clinic or someone to talk to?  You need to talk to someone in detail about your choices and what the best thing to do would be.  

See someone soon, before it's too late.  if you choose to have an abortion, you really should do it as soon as you can before the embryo is too big.  this is a really personal choice, so, again, you need to talk to someone who has an unbiased opinion (this means someone who will not try to get you to do one specific thing, but will help you figure out what you think is best for you) and help you make the right choices for you. Planned Parenthood can be good at this. Remeber, there are places that are actually anti-abortion that dont tell you this until you sit down and start talking with them. these people are biased.  make sure to see someone who is not going to try to make the decision for you.

Good Luck!  

Answer 31

your family must have disappointed of you right now because you're only 15. but don't worry it wouldn't last that long.

my sister got pregnant when she was 18 and my father almost gave her a heavy punch because he very disappointed. She is our oldest sibling and i know my parent's heart bled so hard. but after a week or two they accepted it and after that they were with my sister during her pregnancy. and she got married and now has three beautiful girls.

what do you have to do:

1. stay calm, don't be too depressed it will not be good to you  your baby.

2.  think that it's a blessing from God even though it's unwanted.

3. it would give you happiness (a baby's laughter can cure a wounded heart)

4. don;t try to think about abortion, it's a sin.

if you can't talk to your family right now. try to go to your school's guidance counselor. He/ she can help you with advices.

you can also go to your trusted friend, he or she can also help.

Go and Pray to the Lord.

during this time He is the one who can help you. not physically but He can send someone to help you. and he can even touch your family's heart to forgive you. He is the Almighty God and he knows our every pain just go to Him, He is just a "prayer" away.

and about the father..

if he really loves you then he will accept it.

you didn't make that baby alone. it's the two of you.

he is a coward and that baby doesn't deserve a coward father.

BE STRONG!!!!!

God will help you..that's for sure.

here's a phrase from

John 14:13

"And whatever you ask in My name, that will I do."