16, pregnant, in a hazardous environment and she wants to move in with me (warning its pretty long)?

Question

my girlfriend is 16 (turning 17 on Oct 26 2008) and shes 5 month pregnant. her name is amber. she lives in her grandparents trailer with her step dad, biological mom, and two step siblings. with 2 dogs and 3 cats. in other words its suicide for my soon to be baby. its the worst environment ever, both her step dad and mom do drugs and sell them. they cant even support themselves but they choose to pick on me. they also hate me cause my skin complection resembles that of a mexican but really im Italian and Brazilian, also because im 19. i gave my advice by telling her to call dcf so that they lose there kids and get arrested if they try anything funny, but she doesn't want to do it, why? i dont know. i live with my parent in a middle class neighborhood in a decent 3bed/2bath house. both my parents love her to death and would take her in, the only reason that her parents wont let her move out is that they want her extra $500 in income tax money, but don't they admit it with me, but they brag about it with her. its the mental and physical stress that is appalling and inhuman in her present situation. her parents makes her cook and clean after everyone and then at the end of the day she barely gets to use the phone to talk to me.it drives me nuts when she treats them with respect like they're good parents er something when they treat her like **** just because shes pregnant by me.if she got pregnant by some drug dealer i bet the would be treating her like gold.well now that you might get the situation let me ask the question.... she wants to move out but her parents brainwash her to stay and try to make her feel sorry for them, try to threaten her that they'll try to take our baby away, or that they'll just call the cops to bring her back home. we are from Florida and we want to know if she can leave her house without having to rely on the cops cause she doesn't want to tell the cops why she doesn't want to live with them anymore cause it would be enough to put them away for pretty much their whole lives. can anybody help? I'm begging you!

Answer 1

First of all I'd like to congratulate you on being such a mature and responsible 19 year old man.  More than not boys of your age don't step up the way you've shown here....kudos.

Second...call or drop into your local police station and explain the situation to the desk sargent....he'll at least be able to give you information on your g/f's legal rights as well as yours and your parents if they should take her in.  If you don't find the info you want with the police, get open your yellow pages (or search the web) for child services rules and regulations in your town & state.  There's probably a toll free line to call...ask for an intake worker or councellor and explain the situation to them....they will for sure be able to give you the proper information.

You might also want to consult an attorney with your parents on your rights as the biological father....especially after the child is born....you may have more power in this situation than you realize.  Use it.  You're already quickly learning that parenthood is one h**l of a responsibility that begins with conception...never give up, because you are on the right track when it comes to your child's safety and well being.  Much MUCH luck.....fingers crossed tight for you & your g/f here!  :)

Answer 2

well, i wud, since ur parents r ok with her coming to live with u, then y nt. if i were her, i wouldn't want to live at her own house. i mean, she's pregnant n they r giving her so many work to do, n she's suppose  to get some rest. yes, she can work, but nt so much to hurt herself n the child. probably she's afraid in loosing her own family(even though they treat her like c**p)if she carries the cop in this kind of situation. but futher down in the line, somebody is gonna find out, n want to call the cops or etc. hope i helped. n as 4 u, ur sweet into taken her in with u, many man who finds out that its their child, will no longer care abt her.but she's blessed to have u. n the drugs n smoking is nt good for her health as well as the child's.  

Answer 3

only thing she really could do is go to court and get emancipated meanie where u can go and show the judge that u can move out and live with someone else or if the other people Meanie your mom n dad are willin to take her in all she has to do is tell the judge its like livein on her own ready that she cooks and cleans and works and all that and she rather live with u the boyfrind to raise the baby right

Answer 4

I have to admit, you seem like her knight on shining armor, please take her in, it seems the best thing to do and she really needs it :)

Answer 5

Cops will not bring home anyone that runs away that is 16 or older.  The legal age of adulthood might be 18, but it's not statutory rape unless she's under 16 and children are free to leave school once they turn 16 and the police will not force them to return to their parents if they run away at the age of 16.  So, yes, she can leave home and go live with you and the police will not do anything about it.  Let her parents try to call the cops.  They will get told to let it go.

Answer 6

ok u wanna know wut ur first mistake was?? GETTING A 16 YEAR OLD PREGNANT! doesnt anyone know wut the *** a condom is anymore or maybe birth control???

and ur girlfriends problems with her parents are always gunna be there.. u two most likely wont stay together for ever.. and when u two are through, where will she go then?? her problems.. not yours.

Answer 7

hmm that's tough because technically she is a minor and i believe her parents could call the cops and have them bring her back because of that reason but then again is it all talk?...would they really call the cops and put themselves in that vulnerable situation if they're so involved with drugs? It sounds like she's in a really bad situation at home and would definitly be better off with you but I don't know if that is possible without her involving the cops or child protective services because she is a minor..once she's 18 though you won't have to worry anymore. hope that helps you...and I apploud you for stepping up and taking responsibility of all this at such a young age you'll be fine..but in this case i don't know how you would keep the cops out of it unless you just waited until she was 18 to move in with you....just try to keep thinking what the best interest of the baby is...and that's probably to stay with you

Answer 8

I didn't read the entire thing but I can tell you this.  You can't save the world and you can't burden yourself with such things.  You would be taking on an awful lot.  You cannot be the only one this girl can turn to.  You can help her in other ways like, offering to take her to doctor appointments, help her look for work, or even a place to stay.  But I can tell you from my own experience, even if you care A LOT about this person, you may change your mind after having to deal with all the drama that will come with it.  Since she's so young, you may get into some kind of trouble for not turning her in, especially in her condition.

Answer 9

you talking out of your azz ! im sorry for her family situation . but do you really want the cops involved ? because being 19 you sure dont seem very intelligent ! go ahead get the cops involved . you might end up sharing a cell in jail with the girls dad !  

Answer 10

She NEEDS to tell the police whatever it is that can potentially get her out of there, but she probably wont. If you can, then you need to so that the wheels to a better life for her can start rolling.

Look, you seem like a good guy, but I promise you- You can't save people. You can spend your life trying to do what is right for someone, but they cannot be happy until they are able to make the decision to do what it takes to help themselves. I'm not being bitter, I've been through this situation and I promise you- SHE HAS to make the first step. She's making decisions for two now!

All my prayers,

Lucy

Answer 11

Ok I am not going to lecture you about knocking up a 16 year old but you both should have been more careful. That being said, what I would do, since your parents want to take her in is have them go with you to her home and help you tell her parents flat out that you are taking her to live with you and if there are any problems from them you will get the cops involved and contact CPS. Personally, if they are doing drugs and selling in front of their children, I would call CPS on them anyways. You can do this anonymously if you do not want your girlfriend to know. I agree that this is very dangerous for your new baby and suggest getting your parents involved immediately! I think by having them go with you, her parents are more likely to listen especially if they tell them they will get the cops involved. Explain to your girlfriend that if she loves her parents, she should want them to get help and let you turn them in. If they get sent to jail whatever, that may be hard for your girlfriend but they will be getting the help they need!!!! Good luck!

Answer 12

I Know a lot of what your going through. Bull S**t. I hate tt throughat i went through almost the same ****. My Girl is 17 we have a 5 month old. f*****k H E R M O M. She kept her in her income tax S H I T till a week before she was due so guess what at the last moment we didnt have insurance to cover the hospital bill.

Her mom Let her use the phone for maybe 30 minutes before she moved in with me. Let us go out for an hour. F***ken Drove me nuts. The only way to get her out of that h**l hole was to have a baby. You know what tell your girl its for your familys good( u ur girl and the baby). Take her in. f**kem. Tell them she comes home with you or they go to jail.!!! Good luck and congratulations on your baby. Its a whole different trip being a Dad. Nothing Else matters but the piece of you and your girl.

Answer 13

Sorry about your situation guy. Amber is still a minor and under her parents authority. Amber may want to consider emancipation. having her self declared an adult, She's been living like one. If your parents would definitely take her in you might consider   or equivalent

Answer 14

Oh geeeesus.

Well, i really think that she should just leave and live with you, and if her parents decide to call the cops let them.  All she has to say is listen my parents are drug dealers & i dont want to be around that.  If her parents are that crazy then i dont know why she wouldnt just leave and let the cops take them.  Not only for you and her..but for the baby also.  If i was her i'd leave in a second.  I mean shes old enough to be smart on whats good for the baby, so obv. she would leave.  Im guessing you are good to her, cause usally guys would just leave the girl since she got pregnet but your there by her side.  So talk to her about it now, Be like listen i care about you and the baby and i think its best if you just stay with me.  You have parents so if you guys needed any help its not like your loosing anyone. I dont think her parents really help your girlfriend out in any way.  

Answer 15

I'm not sure what the emancipation law is in Florida, but she can attempt to emancipate herself from her parents (make herself responsible for self) She can do it through the court house. That would free any parental responsibilities from her parents. Then they can't call the police to bring her home because she would have her own rights as an emancipated young adult.