16 and a single mum? Can i do it?

Question

Im 16 and found out around a month ago that i am pregnant. My boyfriend and i, both being against abortion planned to keep the baby. His mother recently talked us into abortion.

Last night, my boyfriend told me that after the abortion, he does not want to be with me anymore. His reason is that he wants to be able to do anything and not worry about even having to call me. So if he finds a job somewhere else and just go. We will have been together a year next month. When i try to talk to him about it and ask if he stilll loves me he gets angry and starts yelling at me.

Im thinking of cancelling the abortion on wednesday (next week) and keeping the bub. ive wanted to keep it all along, but was convinced that my only choice was abortion by his parents. My dad and his girlfriend dont want me to go through with it and say they will support me and bub. i havent told them im thinking about keeping it thay think i want the abortion but i really dont. I want to do whats best for the baby. im around 9weeks pregnant so i dont have long to make a decision.

Thanks all.

Answer 1

i say, you sound like you want the baby.

so keep it! if your dad is there for you to support you, he means it. unlike your boyfriend who wants to leave you. im not against abortion, or think its a great idea. but i think you can do it. & someday you'll find a perfect man who will help nurture the baby.

good luck.

& congrats :]

Answer 2

Darling one the soul that is your baby has chosen you for a very special reason. Follow your heart and be true to yourself.  As you focus on the trust of yourself and all that is, all you need will be there for you. There is plenty of support available all you need to is find the courage to ask for it and surrender any judgments that you may have of yourself and your partner about how this came to pass. Presumably you did what you did because you care for each other and so now focus on that care and love without attachment to how it looks.  I would suggest that the anger your partner is experiencing is born of fear,  uncertainty and self judgment.  All you can do is let him know you love him no matter what choice he makes. Remember he is not his behaviour. Your and your child will be great friends. Spirit watches over you in every minute, just take the time to notice.

Answer 3

I wouldnt do anything till your 100% sure either way.

if your unsure on wether you can support this child then please for the love of jeebus dont have it, he/she doesnt deserve a S****y life with a c**p mother.

ON THE OTHER HAND!

if you want to keep the baby then more power to you.

Its going to be the hardest thing you will ever do.  

Answer 4

You don't believe in abortion and you are getting one??  Have you thought about adoption?  What do your parents say about this?  I would contact an adoption agency, talk to them and get as much info as you can, talk to your parents, are they going to be able to help you raise this baby?  Are you ready to be a parent??...then talk to your doctor about abortion.  Educate yourself on all 3 THEN decide what is best for your baby.

Answer 5

Why does everyone think abortion is the only option?  Have the baby and give it up for adoption.  There are so many families that would love to have a child.  

Ditch the dead beat dad and go make a new life for yourself.  You will be older and wiser in 9 months.  Watch the movie Juno.  Just don't plan on including your old boyfriend in your future.

Answer 6

raising a baby all on your own, with out any help, is EXTREMELY difficult..... even MORE so if you're only 16. do you have family to help you out? parents, aunts, cousins, friends?    you really should finish high school, there are very few jobs out there you can get without even a high school diploma. having a baby makes that difficult. i am not saying you should get an abortion.... personally i could never do that. but why don't you consider all of your options. what about adoption? you can have an open adoption, where you would set up frequent visits to see the child, talk on the phone, etc.  call an adoption agency and at least get information... it doesn't cost anything to ask. have all options in front of you... then make your decision. you just don't want to make a rash decision, then regret it later. be really really sure about whatever you decide.   abortion is never your only choice!  good luck. everything will work out for the best.  

Answer 7

I think that if you feel that you can be a good, loving mother then you can do it.  I got pregnant at 16 with my son, had him at 17 and then had my daughter at 18.  It is not an easy thing to have to "grow up" so young but it can be done.  I had the support of my family and it sounds like you do too.  If you are against abortion then don't let someone else talk you into it.  It is your decision as the one pregnant and no one else can make that decision for you.  There are plenty of people who are single parents.  You sound to me like you really want to have this baby and I think by that you CAN do it.  If you want to talk more about being a parent at 16 email me at [e-mail].

Answer 8

Keep the baby! what if you were in your mom's belly and never got a chance to live! CANCEL IT QUICK! or at least consider adoption!

Answer 9

Look I am against abortion but it is up to you?

Also look it is not there dicesion it is yours.They are are not the ones to have the baby you are.And if is going to break up with you and you know do it frist and it will make him feel bad and want you again.I know you can do it look at jamie lynn spears she did and is fine .But if you want it keep it k.Promise.Glad I could help.

Answer 10

It can be done but it will be very hard.  being a parent is hard whether you are single or married.  You have to be honest with yourself and clear about your reasoning.  If for any reason you are doing this to keep him in the picture you may not like the out come.  Prepare yourself for him to be an absent father because this may become a reality.  And remember that no matter how much dad and step mom support you this is your baby and your responsibility.  You have to do what bis best for you and baby but consider the consequences.  For example, what happens to your future, school, and social life.

Answer 11

My heart goes out to you because I have been in your shoes.  I got pregnant too at 16.  Everyone that I knew tried to talk me into an abortion, but I didn't believe in it.  I made my bed and was going to lay in it.  You need to do what you think is best for you.  You alone have to live with the decision that you make.  Today, I have a beautiful 12 year old son.  I wouldn't trade him for the world.  It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I am proud of myself for standing my ground.  I finished high school, went on to college and got a nursing degree.  Best of luck to you and God  bless

Answer 12

This is your decision and ONLY your decision. Please don't let anyone EVER talk you into something you do not want to do.

However it seems this boy doesn't want to stick around, if he doesn't want to be in your baby's life, you don't necessarily need to inform him of your choice to keep the baby. Just work it out with your dad and his GF, they seem very supporting of you. I know it takes a lot of guts to tell your parents you're pregnant. and I commend you on your strength to do so.

Answer 13

no way.

i dont think abortion is ever an answer..

now as far as u keeping it after its outta u i dont kno.

there are other alternatives like adoption.

if you dont think you can handle a baby give it to parents who really want one and will take good care.

Answer 14

It is your personal decision whether to have an abortion or not, but I think you need to accept the fact that your boyfriend obviously does not love you, and that won't change whether you keep the baby or not.

Answer 15

Honestly, if you don't want the abortion, do NOT get it. You will regret it for the rest of your life because you were forced to make that decision. Just tell your boyfriend that you don't understand his reasons, but there's nothing you can do about it. Don't force him to try to have anything to do with the child.

You could always give it up for adoption.

If your dad and his girlfriend support you, I say keep the baby. It will be hard. But, I think you will be stronger because of it. Having a child isn't the end of your life. Just the end of a chapter in your life.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 16

You can do it and I'm proud of how maturely you're handling your responsabilities and that you are not aborting. If the father doesn;t want to be with you and he's behaving like a ******* b*****d (excuse my language) let him leave. But, he doesn't have the right to be included in all of the decisions you take about caring your baby or seing him/her if you don't want to, don't even give the baby his last name. He/she will be proud to have your's now that you are a mom and dad at the same time.

In my case, my mother is both my mother and father and I'm proud to carry her name.

You can do it and also have the support of your dad and his girlfriend! Your baby will have a wonderful family. :)

Best wishes for you both!!

Answer 17

Having an abortion is your choice, but if you want to keep the baby by all means. And of course you can do it! I'm sure it will be extremely difficult, but if you start planning right now you will be better off when the baby arrives. Read the books, start saving money, and take classes if you can. If you have at least one solid person around that's even better! They can help you through it. By the way, don't ever let anyone talk you into doing something this big (abortion) if you're not 100 % comfortable with it. You can raise a baby on your own.

Answer 18

oh my! i had an ultrasound at 9 weeks 0 days. That baby's little heart was pumping! The baby was moving all around and moving his arms and legs everywhere. He looked at in a direction where were able to see his face for a bit! It was amazing. Im telling you this because your baby is now this developed too. Baby is LIVING inside of you having a grand time, getting bigger and waiting to meet his mommy.

Dont have the abortion... His parents werent looking out for you hunnie, they were looking out for HIM!

Talk to your dad. You are already a step ahead of many teens. It sounds like you have a loving family there to support you and your child. Take advantage of that or at least give the baby a chance to have a happy life with someone else.

BUT YES!!! YOU CAN DO IT! dont be swayed by what others try to convince you of. YOU and only you are in charge of that "bub" right now. Make good decisions for your child. You are the only person that can. Good Luck.

oh! and - men arent any good. mine left me after two years when i was 9 weeks pregnant. Dont rely on him. Keeping the baby or aborting it will not keep him around. Dont do anything to make him happy. His actions shout that he doesnt care if you are happy. I know this is a difficult time for you. It will only get better - promise.