16 and pregnant what should i do?

Question

me and my boyfriend are truly in love hes always there for me thro anything and now says that i need him more then ever which is true cuz of our baby..i dnt want to get an abortion cuz im totally against that but we both agreed we dont have the money or the complete know-how of parent hood but money is definitly one thing we both do not have and our parents dont either.. so we thot we should do an open adoption so we could still see our baby .. but i still havent told my mother yet and we havent told his mom either.. im affraid if i tell my mom she will not let me see my boyfriend inless i get an abortion not to mention she will take away everything i have... im sooo scared cuz shes always saying how proud she is of me but if i ever came home pregnant she would kill me and make me get an abortion but thats not wat i want for my child.... im confused cuz i want to tell her but i dnt no how any advice?

Answer 1

i think you should tell her, be nice sit her down and tell her. and an open adoption seems like a very good idea :) legally your mom can't make you give up the baby, its your decision. good luck! :)

Answer 2

my sister was a teen mom she got pregnant at  15, my mom was upset when she found out, but she got over my niece is 5 years old, she is my mother's first grandchild and my mom adores her.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you're in this position.

You're going to have to tell your mum and it best be sooner rather than later. Write her a letter if you really can't tell her face to face at first. Have you gone to the doctor or to the Family Planning Clinic? They could give you some valuable advice.

And please ignore all these disgusting posters telling you 'abortion is killing a life'. Make your own decision, you're the best judge of what's going to work for you.

Answer 4

just tell her the truth cuz you'll have to sooner or later. the sooner the better. i think a open adoption is great.

Answer 5

well i was 16 and pregnant and didnt believe in abortions either i love my boyfriend to death and i was scared to tell my mom i thought she would kill me to but i told her and i was wrong she took okay i thought all wrong its better to tell her then think of the things that could happen even though she has told you those things she doesnt really mean she just wants whats right but sometimes things happen for reason and you should take the best of it thats what i did and me my son and boyfriend and family is doing great and well taking care of. and your mom cant make you have an abortion its your choice so you decide whats best for yall. well i really hope every thing works for yall good luck and the best of wishes.email me if you have anymore questions [e-mail]

Answer 6

your mom probly wont make the father of the child go away , tell your mom and no aborition, yes adoption

Answer 7

Your mom will be more upset if you hide this from her.  And she can't legally make you get an abortion.  Explain to her that you don't want to keep the baby but you are against getting an abortion, and that you have talked and thought it through and want an open adoption.

But you need to tell your mom because if you do keep the baby, you do need to go to the doctor.  Even though the baby will be adopted, you still need to make sure that everything is ok, your body is fine, and the baby is healthy.

Answer 8

For of all, I doubt your mother can "make" you have an abortion.  Also, every parents says they'll kill you if you ever come home pregnant but in the end they are usually the ones who are there for you no matter what.  If you are too scared to talk to your parents about this, then you were definately too young to be having s*x in the first place.  If you are seriously considering adoption, talk to a professional so they can help you deal with your feelings... I think abortion can be an option in some circumstances like rape, medical problems, etc...but if its just because you're too young to handle your own mistakes, then please please please, let someone else love your child!  There are sooooo many couples out there who would give their lives to have a child and can't so just really think about this before you make a rash decision.

I wish you the best.

Answer 9

just tell her flat out at first she'll be mad and disapointed but you know she'll always love you. besides she really cant do anything to you if she's that mad. but whatever you do dont get an aboration

Answer 10

ADOPTION!!! ADOPTION!! ADOPTION!!! THATS YOUR CHILD! YOUR MOM HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE YOU HAVE AN ABORTION!!!  ADOPT IT OUT WHERE YOU CAN STILL SEE YOUR BABY, BUT  IT WILL STILL BE ALIVE!!

Answer 11

well its best to tell her sooner than l8r.  no matter how upset or confused she gets, your her duaghter...she'll never stop loving you. just tell her exactly what u wrote in ur question box and try 2 get her 2 understand that u r young and feel alone and need all the help and guidance u can get from her. and after everything clears up, she'll feel the same way. i mean, shes ur MOM. she HAS 2 help u..its like an instinct. and i agree that abortion is not the right thing to do...adoption is best. hang in there..everything will be ok

Answer 12

i had a child at 15 after falling pregnant at 14. i ended up a single mum living on my own. i didnt have alot of money but i've managed fine. if you want the baby you will be able to find a way. just sit her down and just tell her, the quicker you get it done the easier it will be. she will be mad at first but it will get better trust me babe. good luck

Answer 13

I think an open abortion is a great option for you...you sound very responsible because you made a great decision but you will still have to tell your mother...there is an old saying that whenever a girl gets pregnant all families talk sh*t but then everybody is in the delivery room...most parents come through no matter how upset they are...and trust me one set of parents will come through if your parents dont his will so you guys will not be on your own

Answer 14

You should prbably tell her the truth.  She will be mad at first, but I am sure she will get over it and help you make the right decision.  As far as abortion, she cannot in any way make you have one doen if this is not what YOU want!  You may be underage, but you have rights when it comes to your body!  If she wants to try and keep her from your boyfriend, tell her she is being selfish!  It is not about you and him anymore, he needs to be around for that baby!  And the fact that he is so young and wants to be is great!  Most guys run.

Answer 15

Oh wow you are doing a wonderful thing!! This takes a lot of guts to do, and you must be very brave. Good on you. :)

As for telling your mother, eventually you will have to do do it. Just sit her down and tell her of your plans to have an open adoption and what not. She is going to be upset with you, but she will come around. She is your mother.

I think your doing a wonderful thing, your going to give a family a chance at having a child, and you will still be able to see their process and how they grow up.

Answer 16

your mom will love you no matter what.  i promise.  don't worry, i was scared to tell my mom too and i was 20!!! i think you're making a wise choice, you don't have to decide about adoption until you have the baby.  just whatever you do, stay in school and get an education no matter what..  don't worry, it will get better.  money sucks, doesn't it?? i hate money.

Answer 17

My dear Kate....

Ohhhhh...Lord... I can imagine the misery you must be going through.... I feel WITH you.... Now...what I would suggest is...You go to youzr boyfriend's MOm & sit down with her -calmly- to discuss the matter with her... Tell her, you are desolate & need her support desperately...-Maybe, you three decide to contact an (open) adoption-agency for consultation on the matter. There are many agencies who specialize in the care of young women, who are in your situation....& are glad to advise you!

Don't be afraid about her "reaction"...-I'm sure, she'll have "an opened ear" for you & will talk to you sensably ....- I shall do : "a special prayer into the universe" for ya ! Everything will turn out OK, don't worry so much, honey !

Wishing you all the best for the future -and- PLEASE : Use some type of birth-control in the future!!! Greetings from Germany with all my love & care for you... Annette***

Answer 18

Unfortunately these kinda things happen when you aren't careful, you shoudln't be having unprotected s*x unless you are ready to accept the fact that you might and probably will become pregnant. But i am sure enough people on here will tell you that.

On a supportive note, yes your mother will be upset initially, but she cannot force you to have an abortion.

Honesty is going to be the best policy here, sit down with your mother and say, "Mom i need to talk to you, and it's really important. So i want you to listen to evertything i have to say about it first and then i will listen to what you have to say. Mom I am pregnant." (at this point she will start to cry or probably get really mad) Tell her, "I know i should have been more careful and made better decisions, but that won't change the fact that I am pregnant now, so in stead of being mad at me, i need you to support me in my decision because you love me. (insert boyfriends name here) and I have talked this over and we both agree that we are no where near ready to be parents, and lack the maturity and finacial capability to give my child everything that it deserves. And i know you are going to want me to get an abortion, but i hope that you will respect (insert boyfriends name here) and mine's decision to seek adoption for this baby. I'm really sorry mom, but at least have realized the mistake we made and I am trying to handle this like an adult."

Just wait and see what she says. Initially I am sure she is going to freak out, but your mother loves you and i am sure if you sit down and CALMLY and MATURELY explain the situation and the option you have chosen she will support you. No child ever knows the full capacity of their mothers love and forgiveness, she will come around.

Answer 19

You are so young and I honestly think you should tell your mom before you do anything. Yes it is hard and yes she will be mad and upset but in time it will be okay. I don't think she can make you have an abortion.

Answer 20

i had a cousin in a similar (sorry i cant spell) situation. open adoption sounds like a great idea , and honestly your mom cant make you get an abortion she has no right over that your baby is your baby, leagally she cant make you do anything. i'm sure she'll love you no matter what but if you're seriously afraid she wont give you much of a choice despite laws it may just be better to tell her after the window for abortion is closed.

Answer 21

Your mom can't force you to do anything with your baby. Your baby is yours and it is a part of you so she can't force you to get an abortion. I highly suggest not to get an abortion because thats killing a life. I like your idea of an open adoption. She can't stop you from doing that. Just remember she can't force you to do anything and she can't stop you from doing anything. Good luck.