Question:

17-year-old daughter refuses to wear her glasses in public...HELP!?

by Guest65862  |  earlier

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My 17-year-old daughter practically refuses to wear her glasses in public. She is nearsighted and needs them.

Last year, she asked if she could get contacts and I said no. She hounded me about it for months.

Six months ago, she stopped wearing her glasses in public. She has had several accidents as a result of this, including one at a family night at the movies for her younger brother's birthday, and she embarrassed us all.

She turns 18 in three weeks and is adamant that she is getting them on her 18th birthday. Since she no longer needs my consent at that point, I can't stop her, and she absolutely refuses to listen to reason. She has allowed a couple of jerks in high school, who used to make fun of her, to make her completely vain about her appearance.

How can I convince her not to be so vain? I have three weeks.

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  1. You refusing to get her contacts is as bad as her refusing to wear her glasses. Just get her the contacts, or not be so uptight that she's getting them in 3 weeks. Who cares? I have 12-14 y.o. friends who have them! It's honestly not that much of a big deal, and if she really cares about her glasses, then free her of her self conciousness and allow her to use contacts!!


  2. Why on earth would you not allow her to get contacts? For heaven's sake! Do you not recall how mean teenagers can be? How does her refusal to wear glasses and having accidents embarrass you? I'm suspicious that your family is too controlling. It's not that bad that she feels this strongly about glasses. Do yourself a favor and give in on this. There are much more important issues on which you should take a stand.

  3. arent contacts a good thing?

    beat her to it genius buy em for her since she will anyways and then she'll like you a little more.

    sounds stuid anyways, a real cute girl could pull of the glasses look.

  4. omg I know you are trying to teach your daughter to not be "vain" but let’s face it people in high school are mean no matter what you keep telling your daughter and words hurt, nothing you say is going to make her feel better. I have refused to wear glasses outside the house since I was 12! My parents let me get contacts because even though they wanted me to feel good about wearing glasses they knew I was upset about the kids at school and instead of making me learn a "lesson" they let me be happy and not teased. This isn’t because she is vain, she just wants to have more confidence and wearing contacts will make her feel better about herself, that’s just the way it is. I personally think you are very mean letting her go through high school KNOWING she is getting teased and you still just wouldn’t let her have them. She embarrassed you at the movies, she is your daughter and she is embarrassed about wearing glasses ALL the time, your embarrassment of that fades after like 3minutes hers she has to carry with her everyday! Let her get them, it will make her happy and what is wrong with that? The world isn’t going to change and if she can live her day to day life feeling as pretty and confident as all the other girls wearing contacts then why shouldn’t she? Why should she have to put up with stupid boys comments when she doesn’t need to? I agree it’s a shame we can’t just be ourselves but this is the real world. Let her be happy and not live in fear at what the next thing to come out of people’s mouths, this is very damaging to her confidence and that takes a LONG time to repair.

    think she cant wear fashionable sunglasses in summer, glasses slip down your nose all the time, contacts let you see more and contacts can really help improve your sight i started wearing mine at 5, yes 5years old! if a 5year old can handle them im sure she can. i had to wear them a few times a week (then started wearing the all the time at 12) if i hadnt been told to wear contacts that young i would never be able to drive a car or do the normal things people do. contacts are proven (if started to wear young) to improve your eyesight (even if its just a little) i can now drive and feel great. maybe if you had let your daughter wear contacts earlier her eyesight would have gotten better, live with that on your mind, eyes only devlop till your 20 or 21, its almost to late for her now and she is emotionaly scared from high school AND her over controlling father, well done dad!!!! if you want to make things even close to getting better i would surprise her and pay for them yourself and take her to get them early. she will hold grudges over this, come on get in touch with reality.

  5. Why would you not allow her to have contacts? She will be an adult and you won't be able to stop her. My kids have never refused to do anything that they are told so I cannot help you there.

  6. what's wrong with her wearing contacts?? I think she's old enough to decided for herself and to take care of them properly. It's not like you're going to have to sit her down every morning and put them in for her.

  7. I say she sounds responsible for saving that much money.  Let her get them.  I have had them since I was about 14.  I don't like wearing my glasses and I am 27 now.  They hurt behind my ears after more than one day of wearing them.  It's not vain but she will probably feel better about herself.

  8. you might tell her that you are sorry but that you did not didn't realize how important this was to her and then take her in to buy the contacts for her.

  9. why no contacts? i like them alot better then glasses. im 13 and ive hasd contacts for 2 years now. and contacts arent all about vanity! they're easier for me anyway, since i always lost and broke my glasses. GLASSES SUCK! let her get contacts. and if u dont, tell her i said go out and get those contacts! sorry if its not what you wanted to hear, but its the truth :)

    --lauren

  10. Contacts aren't just about not having to wear unfashioable glasses

    they make life so much easier!  You dont have to keep adjusting your glasses, and you can see more

    Just get her the contacts.  Go talk to your optometrist if you must, he'll tell you theres nothing wrong with them

    stop being so closeminded!

  11. Wow get her the contacts, sheesh I think at 17 years of age she would be able to handle it. She doesn't have to listen to you she can go behind your back and get them anyways because at 15+ what goes on in the doctor is NONE of your business.

  12. i was the same way your daughter way! my mom found a good solution... buy her the contacts as a bday gift, let her wear them for a month or two, then tell her that you cant afford them any longer and dont buy them for her, and by then she will be sooo use to being able to see, that she will go to her glasses again, and also relize how much easier they are than contacts. it worked for me :)

  13. I don't understand. My son is 11 and I'm trying to get him to get contacts instead of wear glasses. It's not a vain thing...it's a comfort thing. I can't stand wearing glasses at 35. I wear contacts when possible. Since he's going to be playing basketball, I think it would be so much easier for him to wear contacts. I can't believe a parent wouldn't let a 17-year-old wear contacts...that's really controlling.

  14. I really don't see the problem with contacts.  I have been wearing them for over 30 years without a problem (I am very nearsighted and glasses don't correct my vision properly).  My (almost) 12 yo son wears contacts also.  Glasses get in the way of his sports and he hasn't had a problem.

    If your daughter is that against wearing glasses, I suggest contacts before she gets in a serious accident.

  15. i wear contact lens...

    if you were teased in school you should understand...

    i was teased and it hurt my confidence for years... you cant change that about her... why wont you let her have contact lenes... its not like shes just asked you to buy her condoms... =\

    im 16 and i wear them... they are easier for me because i dont get picked on...

    maybe you should think about allowing her...

    what do you have against it?

  16. Why can't she get contacts?  I wouldn't stop my child getting them if they wanted them.  It may seem silly to you but to a teenage girl image is very important.  If she doesn't want to look that way (no matter if you think she looks okay or not) then she will do anything to look the way she wants.  My younger sister was allowed contacts in her teens and nothing bad has come of it.

  17. get her contacts. shes not a baby anymore. contacts arent even that expensive because you can get a 6 month supply and each lens lasts 2 weeks depending on her brand. im 16 and ive had contacts since i was in the 7th grade. glasses are dorky and annoying!

  18. Just curious, why are you against her getting contacts? If she has saved up $500 she seems pretty responsible. I mean, I would rather her have the contacts then her not wear her glasses. Her sight is probably getting worse from not wearing them......

  19. Whats wrong with her getting contacts? I'm 15 and have them, and I love them. It doesn't seem like there's a reason that you won't let her. So if there is a reason, tell her the reason instead of just saying no.

  20. well honestly contacts aren't really like a cardinal sin if thats what you meant by vain and if she refuses to wear contact thats her choice but you shouldn't let her choice affect others lives at stake.so honestly might be better to just get her the contacts and let her start making some of her own decisions

  21. Just let her get the contacts. jeez. Shes even willing to pay them on her own. So just let her be. Its not like shes asking for some fake b***s or a piercing or something.

    It's just CONTACTS. Pretty much EVERYONE has them and there's nothing wrong with them.

    the ONLY thing i don't like about them is the fact that the money for them adds up , But SHES paying for them so let the girl be.

  22. Newsflash:  There's not a girl in the world who doesn't want to look pretty and attractive.  It's not vanity.  It's just part of being a girl.  Scratch that... it's just part of being human.  Every guy wants to look attractive, too.  That's just how we're all designed.  There's nothing wrong with it.  And there's nothing wrong with contacts.  It's not like she wants to get a boob job or liposuction or something.  She just wants people to be able to see the pretty eyes God gave her.  So cut her some slack, dad.

  23. I think you should allow her to get contacts.  My son needs glasses because he is nearsighted and he is 13.  He needs them primarily for school.  Unfortunately, he does not take care of them and manages to destroy every pair he has.  I don't feel he's old enough for contacts because I don't think he'd take care of them and I'd be going thru the same nutroll.  Your daughter is practically an adult.  If she needs them that badly, allow the contacts and see how she does.

  24. Personally, I don't see why you are so upset about her wanting to spend her own money on contacts. She's definitely old enough and can make that decision for herself, plus if they give her self esteem a boost, all the better. In the meantime though, you should certainly stress the importance of her wearing her glasses or better yet, support her decision and take her to get her contacts now.

  25. what is wrong with contacts?????? They are much more comfortable then glasses and are much more practical for any kind of sport. And what makes you thin hat it's people a her school that makes her want contacts?? I don't what the big deal is at all. She isn't being vain she's being much more practical then you are!

  26. Simple. Get her contacts. And don't convince her any other way. It is embarrising for alot of people to wear glasses. It's like, "hey look, I'm only 17 and I'm practically blind. And I can't do seratin things with things that sit on my face everyware I go." Looks like your being the one vain here...

  27. if she wants contacts so bad,just let her get them now!if u want her to see so badly,just give them to her now and save her 3 weeks of embarassment.ur treating her like a 12 year old.shes almost legally old enough to move out!high school is high school, and there are gonna b jerks and shes bound to listen to some of them.its just human.teenage girls are gonna b vain,its the way high school is.im assuming this is ur oldest daughter?

    ----xoxoCourtney

  28. Being a teen is hard enough and wearing glasses can be mortifying for many people.  I can't say I blame her..I was the same way at that age and in all honesty. I got my daughter contacts at 13 when she wanted them.  Her self esteem sky rocketed.  Why are you so against contacts anyway?  Contacts make many things easier and if it would help with the way she looks at herself..what's the issue?

  29. all teens are concerned about their looks. i dont see anything wrong with contacts and shes obviously responsible, and really wants them if she has been babysitting and saving money. if her birthdays coming up why not surprise her with the contacts.

  30. I started wearing contacts in the 6th grade. They are a whole lot more convenient than glasses. When glasses break when your at school, you can't see for the rest of the day. If a contact breaks you can just get another out of your purse. You should buy her contacts for her birthday!

  31. She isn't a baby anymore.  These are the hardest teenage years of her life.  If contacts will boost her self esteem, get them.  They won't hurt her, it isn't drugs or plastic surgery.  Is there a reason you don't want her to have them?

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