19 year old with no ambition? I always choose the best answer! HELP!?

Question

A friend of mine has a 19 year old daughter with seemingly no ambition?This 19 year old dropped out of high school and then returned to drop out again. She got fairly good grades but lacked the desire or drive. My friend owns a gymnastics gym, and upon her retirement the business would be run by her 2 or 3 kids (if they wanted to). This 19 year old is a trained gymnast but chooses to work for free tanning rather than to help out at the gym, because she doesn't get 'paid'. She lives at home for free room and board, and has been kicked out several times, to sleep on the doorstep. She steals, lies and cannot hold a job. What advice do you have for her and/or her mother?

Answer 1

my brother is 19 and very lazy with work or helping out at home...my mum is a single mum and I have my own family and live 2 hrs away so cant help out as much, but she tried everything to just get my bro to get a job any job and to pay some board money, just $50 a week!!  he would just stay in his room all night and go out with friends, and mum went to a tough love group which really empowered her to be more firm!  but also to be a little bit clever....

He always ate in his room and plates and glasses would be in his room dirty and broken....so mum cleaned all the cupboards out and gave him paper plates and a bin....

he would use a fresh towel every day and leave the towel on the floor.....so mum took all the towels except 2 for him so he was forced to do washing!!

he was always in his room and mum said he had a week to get a jon or poay rent and when he ignored her, she removed the door!!!

anyway,  at the end of the day, if the child is disraspectuful its time to go!!  my mum told my brother to leave because he would not do what she asked......get a job and pay rent was all it was.....and he lives at my dads house now and pays $100 a week and has to work his as$ off, and now realises it would have been much better to stay with mum and pay $50 and live in her house across from the beach and withing walking distance to shops......  she needs to get her kids to pay rent, and make them do things around the house, its good for them for life..... she has to be firm!  us mums have way too much guilt but its actually better for kids to be pushed a bit!  if they are never made to do anything how will they evr learn to fend forthemselves!!

sorry i was rambling a bit...just a red bull!!  take care

Answer 2

I would say her mother needs to totally stop enabling her.  By letting her stay at home for free she is allowing her daughter to be lazy and unmotivated.  If I were the mother I would tell her that she has one month to get her act together.  She needs to have a full-time job that pays.  I would then inform her that she may stay at home if she does two things.  First, she needs to finish her education (get her GED).  If she already has her GED then she needs to enroll in a community college or trade school part-time.  Second she has to pay a certain amount each month for room and board.  If her daughter will not comply to these demands then she is out and cannot come back.  Sounds harsh but if she doesn't put her foot down now then she may have a 35 year old daughter still living at home and being as lazy as ever.

Answer 3

Honestly I think the mom needs to be more strict, what the daughter is doing is not right, I havent even turned 16 yet and I work (I've been working at the same place for almost a yr) and give my mom half (It's just me and my mom), I have Honors classes and get A's and once in a while a B or 2. I already have planned to go to a 4 yr university to be a teacher. Maybe her mom should take her to a counselor or something to figure out what she is good at to get into a technical school or something....

Answer 4

she needs to be a bit more firm with the girl, although maybe the girl is not looking for jobs in the right places, she can always go back to school, get a GED and then an associate degree and her mother should only support her if she does that, because then that ensures a more stable future for both of them.