2 Questions-- Is is okay to feel disapointed? What was it?

Question

Hi all.

I have a gender related question. My husband and I have a beautiful 14 month old son. We love him.

With this pregnancy I was really hoping for a girl. Then we were going to be done having kids. We decided if it was a boy, then we'd be happy and here in a couple years try for a girl ONE MORE TIME.

We had a 3 child limit.

Well then I found out I am having twin boys. So I know I'm never going to get a little girl. The main reason for me wanting a girl is because I NEVER had a relationship with my mother. We fought a lot. She never "liked" me. So I was really hoping to have a mother daughter relationship sometime in my life.

So is it okay for me to be disappointed about having only boys? I am happy. VERY =] But I know that I'll long for a girl for a long time.

ALSO! This morning when I got up I had a very thick mucousy discharge (TMI sorry). I am 19 wks pregnant. I'm worried about preterm labor since I had my son early and now I'm carrying twins. Could this have been my mucous plug already?

Answer 1

It's only natural to feel disappointed, but I'm sure that feeling will fade. If not throughout the pregnancy, definately as soon as those two little guys are put in both your arms. Besides, I wouldn't rule out only 3 children yet. If you are that disappointed about not getting a girl, you may end up becoming a mommy of four. I know it probably sounds like a lot of kids now, but just don't rule it out for the rest of your life. You may turn around in 5 years and decide you really do want more children. You never know what the future will bring.

About your plug, I would definately call your dr. just to make sure. But I'm sure everything will be ok. Just take it easy and rest a lot more than you would if you were just having one baby.

Congratulations!

Answer 2

No, you're not wrong for being disappointed. I was the same way. I wanted a girl so bad and found out he's a boy. I was disappointed but quickly got over it and now i'm glad he's a boy and more importantly glad he's healthy.

I know I'll get thumbs down for saying i was disappointed at first, but i'm just being honest. People will try to make you feel bad about it, but don't let them. You can't help the way you feel. I don't think that you're actually disppointed that's you're having boys, it's just that the situation didn't work out the way you had wanted it to. At least that's how I felt. You may always long for a girl, but you really won't care as much in no time.

As far as the other question, I don't know, I'd call your dr. to be sure.

Good luck with all those boys!

Answer 3

I can only answer the first question. It is ok to be disappointed I wanted a girl really bad and I got a boy. I wasn't mad I just got my hopes up a little to high! I am very happy that I am having a boy because he is healthy and has all the parts. (10 fingers, 10 toes ext). Your fine you already know how much you are going to love the little guys, and that's all that matters!

Answer 4

You shouldn't feel bad about being disappointed.  My husband was when we found out we were having another boy.  I was ecstatic!  As long as you love all three of them, then you are good.  You could try for a girl, but having watched Malcolm in the Middle a few times, I would be wary, lol!

You may have lost your plug.  Have your doctor check your cervix.  If it is still completely closed then you are ok.  The plug can fall out and regenerate several times.

Answer 5

I think it's totally understandable that you're disappointed. I am hoping that the baby that I'm carrying now is a boy, because I have 2 girls already. I will be slightly disappointed if it's not, because this is my last baby (for sure). I'm sure that you will love your twin boys very much and just thank the lord every day that they are healthy. As far as the discharge goes, I'm not too sure about that. You might want to call the doctor and see what he/she thinks. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

I think its natural to be disappointed when you really hope for one gender and get the other.  In my case, I will find out tuesday what I am having, and secretly, I'm really really really hoping for a boy!  I am also scared of feeling disappointed if I find out its a girl.  But either way, I know that once the baby is born, I will be thrilled.  A lot of ppl say that even though they were hoping for the other gender, after the baby was born they couldn't see it being any other way!  I'm sure once your boys are born you will be thrilled and you will forget all about having a girl!  Also, once you have 3, what's one more!  Maybe you will change your mind and go for a 4th and get your little girl!  And if you do, she will have 3 older brothers to protect her!!!  Don't be hard on yourself!  What you are feeling is natural!  But boys are wonderful to, and you can be close to them also!

As for your other question, I've heard that most women go into preterm labor with twins.  I think its pretty common.  As for your CM question...I am 19 weeks also, and occasionally I get some really thick discharges every once in a while.  I think its normal.  But if you are really worried, contact your doctor.  Either way you are high risk because of twins, so it doesn't hurt to let him/her know.  Better safe then sorry!

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

At first if you suspect your going into labour get yourself to your doctor a.s.a.p. especially considering your last pregnancy history.

Congratulations on your second pregnancy and three boys.

I have had two girls and understand how your feeling I believe it or not I get along with boys better and could never imagine my girls to "like" me??

Even if you did go back after two boys you still don't have a slap bang guarantee that the 3rd would be a girl?

Its ok to be disappointed its normal for us to want something that we cant have as long as this disappointment is not relayed in the level of care we provide to our children.

You might find that one of your boys will become a real mummy's boy and that you and him will have a wonderful relationship together.

Its not the end of the world its the beginning. You have three chances now to get a daughter in law that you may find yourself close to one day. Also you have 3 chances for granddaughters.

My father was the only child, I was also the only granddaughter and I tell you my Nanna spoiled me rotten, I had every dress, nail polish makeup etc etc that a little girl could ever dream of. I was actually CLOSER to her than my own mother she not only spoiled me with gifts but her love towards me was unique and special and I remember this everyday....

I wish you the best of luck. You could trick your husband by saying the (3) limit was not on kids, but pregnancy's.... LOL and try for that fourth but remember no guarantees.... hehehehe

Answer 8

It's okay, I know how you feel. I was hoping and hoping for a boy and I was so upset when I founf out I was having a girl. I have no boys at all in my family and just wanted one of my own-now I'm having a girl--all I can think about is how I want a boy. I keep having dreams that they were wrong with the ultrasound and it's really a boy. My fiance wants to try again in a year or so, but I don't think so. This pregnancy is difficult and I only wanted one child-a boy. I don't think I could handle the dissapointment of another girl.

Answer 9

If you think it is your mucous plug you should really be on your way to the dr being that you are 19 weeks and having twins. As far as being disappointed in the gender of your babies, I am sure they are other people that feel that way even if they never admit it however you should love them regardless no matter what which I am sure you would. Little boys are just as precious as little girls and you can have just as good of a relationship with them. There are many women who can not have children and would die to be a mom whether it is girl, boy or whatever. Good luck, visit the dr and make sure it wasn't your plug and when your boys get here hug them and kiss them and let them know that you will always be there for them