2 yr old and a funeral??

Question

My husbands grandfather is dying from cancer. I know I shouldn't talk like this yet,but he is going to die. He is very close to my daughter, she's 2 1/2. When he dies, should I take her to the funeral?? Isn't she too young to go through that???

Answer 1

My mom took me to my grandpa's funeral, when I was 4. (In fact, he died a day before my 4th b-day.) We were visiting from another state, he was very sick, and passed while we were there... I don't remember much of the funeral, but, many little kids are so busy people-watching, they are unlikely to be traumatized, nor realize what is going on.

I also took my 3 children---one of them a baby, at the time---to the funeral of my lifelong friend, and all went well. (Considering.) It's up to you: if you think she'll be loud and disturb everyone else, then I'd probably not bring her, but if you think she can be fairly quiet/calm, for a while, go ahead... Good luck!

Answer 2

i think it would be good for her to get closer. i remember when my grandmother died. i was three.

Answer 3

Depends on how aware the child, if you have read my questions you know I wouldn't take my five year old daughter to one for anything, but my 2 yr old, well he probably wouldn't remember it anyway, just make sure you have a way to keep him entertained because he won't sit through the service.

Answer 4

My opinion is that she is to young.  My daughter will be 3 next month and I dont think she would even know whats going on.  And I'm not sure about your daughter but mine is definitely going through "terrible twos" so her behavior would not allow me to take her to something as serious as that.  By not taking her you are not doing the wrong thing you can just remind her of her grandfather by pictures, and memories.  

Answer 5

at this age nothing finite let her know grampa is going to take atrip to heaven soon and she wont see him for awhile

but dead people are scarry so dont take her

Answer 6

I personally think she is to young to go to a funeral. I have a 2 year old and i wouldn't take him to a funeral. Children just can't handle that at 2, But you should explain to her that her grandfather will not be around for a while. Let her know that he is going to heaven with GOD! I hope this helped you GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

My daughter went to her grandfather's funeral at the age of four.  She sort of understood what it was about.  It's part of life and it wouldn't be right to shield them from it.  They have to come across it eventually, and really the sooner the better.  I have three dead siblings and the first died when i was less than two.  I am not happy that my mother didn't let me go to any funerals when i was a child and i think it's not good when the first one you go to is at the age of 29, which is when i did.  If she goes to her grandfather's funeral, it's a way of easing her into grieving for other people she's close to, and i think you should take her.  She will be able to deal with whatever it is she's old enough to grasp, naturally, at her own pace.

Answer 8

Too young for the funeral service have someone look after her, but they should go to the wake after.

Answer 9

Yes, she is too young and her behavior might not be appropriate for the occasion.  Unless it is a custom in the family and their culture for all generations to attend, I'd keep her away.  A visit to see him now might be too stressful, too; you'll have to decide this with the family.  But, while he is still alive, it would be nice to send him some recent pictures of his great-granddaughter.

Answer 10

Take her - she is too young to understand but should be there if they were close.

I took my two at 1 and 2 to my Grandads funeral, as no one could babysit - he was a very popular man, everyone wanted to be there.

I gave then both their very first lollypop to keep then quiet during the service (very good babies anyway and not noisy when gently told to shhh - then anyway!)

They loved the lollies and many commented afterwards how well behaved they were. One or two said they thought the odd slurping noises were sweet .

My Grandad was very old, but a unexpected death such as a tragic accident - I would not have taken them, the upset would be too much.

I would not take them to an open coffin funeral! - we have that part separate in the UK and it is bizarre to adults, let alone children.

Answer 11

if she is close i think you should take her and i also think you should start talking to her about what happens to someone or even animals when they die. my sons dog died and i just told him that the doggie went to heaven one of our cousins passed and my niece was only 2 we let her go and told her that he was in heaven with jesus they understand a lot more than we think they do she will be fine but i think it will hurt her more if you dont tell her what is going on before it happens good luck and i am soo sorry this is happening to you and your family

Answer 12

Do NOT take a 2 yr old to a funeral...

Answer 13

to the funeral yes as long as the casket is closed but to the wake no. she is to young and could greatly effect her in her later years. my father died when i was 6 and my brother was 3. our mother took us to the wake and 40 + years later it still has an effect us.

Answer 14

my daughter was very close to my grandmother. she was 4 and i took her.there were ALOT of questions. we went to callin hours before so she could see and ask questions. see how your 2 yr old does at callin hours. but if shes not one to sit still for long, then i would only take her to callin hours.

Answer 15

1. feed her before reaching the church

2. put her to sleep

3. when she wakes up it should be over

Answer 16

I would say no. I am a childcare provider. I have a three year old in my care who recently lost a grandparent. He has been acting up majorly. He is usually well mannered . My dog was asleep in the back yard, the boy panicked and told me my dog was dead. He also asked if there were dead people in my shed. I just think that it's too early to expose a young child to a funeral. They don't quite understand and don't need to be around a bunch of people who are upset, especially the people they love.  

Answer 17

She may be to young to actually sit there the funeral. But sometimes people say bringing a baby to a funeral is a good thing because they see how life precious is and makes them smile. Only because they are so young and don't know any better. My friend when she had to take her 2 year to a funeral she sat close to a door so that if she had to leave she could leave if she had too. She also brought her some books and quite toys to play with to keep her busy. Also bring some snacks. You should always do what you think is best. If you think bringing her is a good idea to make people feel better I would. ALso remember if the 2 were close it may make him rest better after he passes if she is at the funeral. Best of luck and I'm so very sorry to hear about your husbands grandfather dying.