2 yr old seeing great gran who we think is close to dying.

Question

I don't think it will affect her in any way as the great gran is sleeping a lot so if i just said she is sleeping that would be that.I can't leave the kids as were all going to see her my son is only 9 weeks so no probs there.What do you think

Answer 1

I think you should take your daughter, if it is a stressless and an easy event then that's good but if there is any tension then take her away cos kids do remember bad times.  If your nan is awake then ask her if she'd mind you taking a photo cos believe me once she's gone in the future it is so helpful to be able to show your kids photos of them and their great grandparents/grandparents.   I was stopped from seeing my granda just before he died and that has affected me cos he had a old pound note in his pocket that he wanted to give to me, I'm 41 now and I've still got the pound note but I wish I'd been given the opportunity to see him before he passed away.

Answer 2

I have a 13 year old and i know that at 2 they wont remember anything especially if everything is low key. I didn't know that my g.gran was dying when i went to see her in hospital and i was 7. I remember sitting and getting bournville chocolate and i remember the phone ringing that night to say that she had died but i don't remember anything else from the hospital so i wouldnt worry.

Answer 3

I think that it is a good idea as she will thank you for it, at least she would get to see her, she would be angry when she is older if you dont, she wont remember hopefully.  

Answer 4

I dont understand the question.  If you are asking is it ok for the 2 year old to see great gran even though she is sleeping a lot, of course that is fine.  

Indians were the ones that left the elders in the forest to die on their own and went on their way without care.

Answer 5

it wont affect her in any way,like you say,great gran is sleeping,peaceable,till the end..so,take care.mary.c.

Answer 6

My son was almost 4 when his great grandmother passed away, what is sad is he now doesnt even remember her when he sees a photo of her.

Answer 7

A 2 year old won't remember anything.

Answer 8

At 2 she will most probably not remember any of this anyway.

I think it should be fine

Answer 9

take her with you. it is almost as good for your 2yr old as it will be for your great-gran.

I am an avon rep and have been doing business in a nursing home for 6 years now. One of my favorite customers was dying and I stopped by her room to see her. My son, who was just learning to talk said "nite nite" and "bye bye" as we turned to leave the room. The whole time that I was in her room she stayed almost comatose, but after he spoke, she woke up long enough for me to say my goodbyes.

also, if great-gran is in a nursing home vs a hospital, the residents LOVE to see toddlers. they LIKE the sounds of giggling or babling toddlers, it reminds them of thier younger days and thier kids/grandkids

Answer 10

dying is a part of living.  early experience of it in a non-scary and very peaceful setting will help to lessen the anxieties your child may feel as she comes to understand death better later on.

my niece was four when her beloved uncle died after a motorcycle accident.  my sister took her and her brother (he was then 8) to see their uncle in the hospital while he was still on a life support machine.  the doctors had bandaged over the obvious injuries so that he was quite presentable, and going to see him and say goodbye really helped both children to come to terms with the loss.

2 years old is a bit too young to appreciate the situation properly, and if your child is able to ask questions you may have to answer some queries about what exactly is going on, but learning these things is a part of understanding how the world works and is a part of growing up...

don't tell her that the great gran is sleeping, be totally honest and say that she's dying and that you've come to show her that you love her before she dies.  you may have to explain that this is something that happens to everyone when they get very, very old, but that it isn't going to happen to you or your child for a long, long time.

small children are very interested in rituals and ceremonies, so she will probably understand the idea of saying a proper goodbye to someone you won't be able to talk to again.

it's very unlikely that your 2 yr old will remember any of this later in life, but she will probably remember the things she learns about dying and how to deal with a death in the family from the way you respond at this time.  you won't be doing her any harm at all by taking her with you to see her great gran, but you might want to arrange to have a friend there who can entertain the child outside the room while you have a bit of quiet time with her great gran without distractions.

Answer 11

I think the baby is not being harmed in anyway.

Answer 12

You have no memory back past the age of three years old

Answer 13

He will be fine. They pay a lot of attention to things, but he won't understand whats going on. Like you said he think shes really tired. Most likely he will forget.

Answer 14

I wouldn't hesitate to take her.  What she remembers or doesn't remember is beside the point.  We try to shelter our kids too much from death, but death is a part of life.  I wouldn't make a big deal out of great gran sleeping, but I would explain that if she sees family members who are upset that great gran is probably dying.  You'll have to deal with a few questions, but that's healthy.  

By the way, she may remember some of it.  I have very clear memories of when my great-grandmother died and I was 2 1/2.  But it wasn't a scary thing... just sad.