2 yr old testing limits...please help?

Question

Our son is 21 months old and lately he’s REALLY been testing my patience and his limits. I’m looking for suggestions as to what more I can do because I truly feel we’re doing things in the right order and he’s just not responding the right way.

Yesterday’s prime example:

Our son has this toothbrush that he likes to use play with. He took that toothbrush last night (the electrical one with the big battery bottom) and he smacked our TV with it. My husband is SO obsessed with his TV and this is the world’s biggest no no. So we scolded him for it and gave him a warning. He went ahead and did it again. So I grabbed him and looked right at him and said very firmly, NO! We don’t hit the TV and as I was about to turn him away and give him something else….he clocked me on the head with the toothbrush and smiled as he did it. And paused…waiting for me to do something.

Yes it was funny but NO it sure as h**l was not!. I was shocked actually and of course I was pissed. So I told him NO again and that we do NOT hit, it’s not nice and hurts Mommy. And I put his little butt in time out on the floor against the wall. He pouted for about 2 seconds then sat there smiling. I gave him “the look” and he scooted back in his time out spot. And I could see him watching me as he tried inching his way towards certain toys that were a distance away. I stopped him and put his butt back in time out and he just SMILED.

Please help me here. I know this is the common “terrible twos” but I’m not sure how to really go about dealing with it.

Any advice is appreciated…..thanks!

Answer 1

He is testing his limits.  In this case, putting him in the time out was the proper thing to do, but I also would have taken the toothbrush away, and told him that now he can't play with it.  If you take something away like that, you have to put it up high, but within sight, so that it isn't "out of sight out of mind".  You sound like you are dealing with it fine.  THe most important thing to remember is to be consistent, and do not get lazy.  

Answer 2

I wondered if I was the only one going through this.  We've tried everything.  We've been married 8 yrs, have a 22mo old (first and only child) and are living at my parent's house right now bc I severely broke my ankle in the last couple weeks of my husbands deployment and couldn't do anything except sit with it up, esp. after the surgery.  SO, here we are in my parent's house, with a 22 mo old who is pushing our limits (which are already to the boiling point bc we are so ready to go back to our house--we've been here almost 2 months now!!!).  We tell him no, give him a warning, he does it again--I can't get up to stop him-- if he's close to me, he might turn around and pop me or he might just scream at me.  I've tried popping him back and trying to get him to understand it hurts we don't hit people but all that does is make him laugh, so we do time out's instead.  (Of course my parent's think I should pop his behind until he cries bc that's the way they did it and of course that's the best way to do it.)  The only thing that helps get me through is thinking that if I stick to my guns he'll realize that I can outlast, outwit, outplay (hehehe) that I AM THE MOMMA! and he can't tell me what to do.  Stick to your guns girl!  We can do this!!!

Answer 3

as a mom of a 4 year old 2 year old and 5 month old I can tell you I've been there...and I AM there. I give 1 warning and only 1. A toothbrush really isn't a good toy for a 2 year old no matter how much he likes it. The first time he hit something with it you give a firm warning and let him know what his consequences will be if he does it again. The second time you take the toy get down ON HIS LEVEL thats really important so he doesnt feel so intimidated by your size (you dont want him scared of you) tell hi he doesnt get that toy because he didnt listen to your warning. If he throws a tantrum like most 2 year olds do thats when you put him in time out away from everything. Taking a toy away for 10 minutes is pointless. He doesnt get it till the next day. My daughter thinks her pillow is a person and thats her favorite thing in the world. she loves it and calls it baby pillow and feeds it doll bottles and wants to put a diaper on it...she's obsessed..when she doesnt listen to me i give her a warning and next time the pillow is gone till the next day. i put my kids in the corner and make their noses touch the wall until i tell them they can come out...the time starts for them when the crying stops. 4 minutes for my 4 year old 2 for my 2 year old...I think you are doing a good job......ok one last thing is Positive Reinforcement. he shouldnt only get consequences for doing bad things...when he is a good boy no matter WHAT it is he should get praised and hugged and kissed..it influences good behaviour versus bad behaviour. sorry to ramble but I reguarly have people comment on how well behaved my kids are...this is just my opinion and what has worked for me. good luck!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like you are doing everything rite! I would have taken the toothbrush from him other then that your on track! Just keep on doing what your doing and stay consistant. It will all fall into place eventually.  

Answer 5

You seem to be doing the right thing.  I do the same as you when punishing my child.  Only difference is that my child will cry and scream in time-out and yours smiles.lol.

Sometimes I too feel that I'm not doing the right thing, but I try to remember that she's 2 1/2 and it will hopefully get better.  Be consistent and take a breather once in a while.  

Answer 6

dont worry it sounds like your a great mother

i would say next time he acts up and you put him in timeout

try to put him in a boring isolated spot

tell him that if he keeps smirking at you then he will stay in timeout longer

gooodluck

Answer 7

Your are doing the right things, just keep with it.  The only additional thing I would suggest is after he is warned the first time of misusing any toy, toothbruch, plate, etc..take it away from him.

He is just at the age of testing your boundaries to see how far you will let him go.  But you are making a good balance of being firm, yet not overbearing.

I've read that it takes about 30 days to squash a bad habit, so as hard as it sounds, consistency & lots of patience is the key.

Answer 8

A big smack on the butt the first time would have prevented the rest of the story.

In all reality, I would have verbally punished the first time, then smacked the second time.

My son is 22 months and we always try and verbally explain why something is wrong first and give the mean "mommy" look... but if that doesn't work, he gets a smack.  We also remind him the first time if he does it again, he will get a smack, so he knows what is coming.

Smack = quick pop on the rear while wearing clothes and a diaper.

Answer 9

Move all the toys away from him where he doesn't know where they are. Put him in the time-out, and this way he won't scoot towards the toys. Sure, he'll be smiling. ....but will he be smiling in 10 minutes? 15? Perhaps 20 or even more? Ignore him while he is in time-out. If he absolutly refuses to be in time-out, let him know he won't have dessert nor toys for a day. Doesn't seem to faze him? Then keep adding days as you see fit.

It'll work. Don't worry.

EDIT: And yeah, so what the others said. Take the toothbrush away.