$20,000 Wedding, $900 for the Bridal Shower Invites?

Question

OMG! My neighbor that Ive grown up with is getting married. Her parents are middle class working parents and they have been saving up money in a secret account for her from the day she was born. They told her that since she was out of college and getting married, the money was finally hers.

So what did she decide to do with it? She spent it on the wedding! All of it. Her parents were hoping she would use some of it to help purchase a home and some of it for the wedding. But no, she spent it all on the wedding. He invites the her bridal shower were absolutely georgous, and cost her a total of $900. She only had 100 guest for the shower.

Oh, I know it can be easy to spend a lot when you have the ceremony at a fancy place, but she is getting the cermony and reception rent free because its at her church! She what the heck did she spend it on?

My wedding only cost $3000 and its was perfect.

Would you have spent the money on? How much did your wedding cost?

Answer 1

I'd get married at the courthouse and put what I could toward a home. At best, I'd spend $3,000 on the wedding...tops.

Answer 2

I spent 6k on my wedding.  It's really NOT that hard to end up spending 20k on a wedding....definately not my cup of tea to be sure (I'd rather have the home too) but given the average cost of a wedding these days is around 25k it's not hard to imagine.

She probably didn't get as many discounts as she could or use the money in the most efficient way, but don't judge her.  Just be happy that she's getting her "perfect wedding" just like you did.  Everybody has different priorities and for her the wedding may have been the thing she valued most.  A lot of brides have the mentality that "I can buy a house anytime but a wedding is only once".  Or, they figure this is their one shot to boss people around.  Plus, you don't know her entire financial situation so 20k might not be a stretch.

Be careful how often and where you start voicing your opinion on this.  It could very easily come across as bitterness from a jelous bride who didn't have that kind of cash when she got married.

Answer 3

And the Groom let the idiot do it....they desere each other. Two nut buckets.

Answer 4

NO! I wouldn't have spent that much on my wedding, and my wedding cost less then $1,000.

But I do have to say that in some areas of the USA $20,000 is the "norm". In my cousins case she wanted the "fairy tale" wedding. When she was born, her did the same thing. They started a wedding account and put a minimum of $100-$150 in there every month. When she decided to marry her college sweetheart, she had more then enough money to have the wedding of her dreams. Weve started a college fund for our son, but not a wedding account. This is something we're still debating on.

good luck to you. :)

Answer 5

That does seem like a lot for bridal shower invitation but it's up to her and her fiance how she spends the money.  If her parents wanted her to spend it a certain way they should have said something.  I am budgeting about $18,000 for my wedding with 80 guests and it seems like a lot of money but I am not really worried right now about saving up money for a house or stuff like that at the moment (we still have 3 years of school left but will be able to get really good jobs afterwards with no debt).  If she was spending so much money on stuff like bridal shower invitations I can see where the money went really quickly.  Most of my budget is going to catering and the reception in general.  The average price of a wedding right now is about 20-25 thousand.

Answer 6

Yeah, $20K really isn't a huge amount of money when you're talking about weddings, especially since the average wedding costs about $20-$25K.  If I was her, I would spend a a little under half that on the wedding and use the other part as a down payment on a house and a much needed vacation.  But that's me.  Everybody's priorities are different.  Weddings are important to a lot of people.  It is one of the most important days of your life.  If she wants to spend that much money on a wedding, than it would be worth it for her.  At least she's not going into debt over it.

Answer 7

Gas, food, ehr what else has gone up in price?

Answer 8

Well, insane for sure!  Really fancy wedding would be around 5 to 6 thousand dollars! It seems she's getting off to a real bad start, before the wedding is even over with! I would say she has no idea what money really is, maybe because her parents raised her that way, or no one bothered to teach her value of money and costs of living in todays world!

She should have at least keep 10 thousand for a rainy day, when money problems occur later on in the marriage! And far as buying a house right away, would be a foolish mistake, there's plenty of time for that! So I would disagree with you on that! I guess she will have to learn the hard way, about her thoughts over money! You can't really blame her 100%, her parents shouldn't have never even given it all to her at once to begin with!

There at fault for her spending it all on the wedding, even though she should have known better to do something so foolish and irresponsible! She will most likely regret it in years to come!

The wife and I spent around 2,500 on our wedding, and that was over 20 years ago! But we had a live country western band, and all you could drink from the bar, from the bride and groom! Plus a huge spread of food! But 20,000 is just pure insane, no doubt about it!

Answer 9

I think it depends on where you are in the U.S. on what everything costs, but if she is inviting 100 people to her bridal shower then she is having a HUGE wedding!  Mine is costing me around 25,000 with 150 guests and by no means a platinum affair.  I spent a lot on the photographer because that is what meant a lot to us, but my wedding invites cost me 300.  Bought them online and love them!  You can spend your money however you want to, and it can cost a lot or a little.  I am only doing this once!

Answer 10

So far just reception is costing $12,000, 125 ppl.  I think the total is coming to about $22,000, I wish i could just elope.

Answer 11

Really $20,000 is not a lot of money. My wedding is going to top out at that and it isn't a lavish affair, formal but not Platinum wedding material by far. It also depends on where you live, how many people you want to invite that kind of stuff. I have been planning for about 2 years and paying for things a little at a time, so the money didn't seem like a lot really.

I already own my own home so I don't need it for one, own my car so  I don't need money for that either.

I think it is a bit ridiculous she spent $900 on Bridal shower invites. SHe shouldn't be buying her own shower invites in the first place and to invite 100 guests or more ( I would assume she invited more than 100 if 100 showed up) screams bring me gifts!

It just depends on where one sets their priorities or how financially stable they are to spend however much on their wedding. My wedding costing that much includes everything but the rings and honeymoon. Toasting flutes, unity candle, dress, shoes, favors, ..... it all adds up so fast.

Answer 12

Why is $20,000 too much? If they gave her the money, then it is hers to spend. Not trying to be rude, but where is it your business what she spends the money on? If it isn't directly effecting you, then you shouldn't worry about it. People have spent MILLIONS on weddings in the past. So honestly, her amount sounds about right. You pulled off your wedding with $3000 but guess what, my wedding is going to cost between $30 and $35 THOUSAND dollars... Too much? Oh well, my money, I earned it, I'll spend it how I want to. It really does sound like you are jealous of her. Sorry to say it. But the fact that you mentioned it on Yahoo even though it isn't really your business hints of jealousy. Sorry that I don't agree with you...