20 month old who only eats what she wants...tempertantrums usually follow...?

Question

my 20 month old daughter used to like to try new things...but now it seems like she only wants to eat what she knows. when my hubby and i try to get her to eat whatever it is we are eating, sometimes she refuses. this is followed by a tempertantrum when we try to encourage her to eat it. my solution is "okay, fine. she doesnt want it, she doesnt have to have it" and i give her a yogurt or a whole grain snack. my hubby's approach on the other hand is quite different, i feel he is too hard on her at times. he often treats her like you would an older toddler, not a one-and-a-half-year-old. he feels that if she doesnt eat, she should be removed from the chair, go to time out, and cry and scream in time out for an upwards of 5 minutes or more. and if she doesnt want to eat it after that, then she goes to bed hungry.

i figure that there HAS to be a happy medium. she is a very smart girl who knows what she wants, and what she likes.

please help...

Answer 1

Kids go thru phases where they are curious eaters, and then picky.

As far as people telling you she should be smacked they should be smacked. The child isn't even two, she is learning. Maybe before you offer her other foods get her to have one bite. Research suggests that kids will develop a taste for something after 10 tries.

Though I do not agree with your husband 100% removing her from the table sounds correct, but not going to bed hungry. Little bodies and brains need food. Boy if my kids had to go to bed without dinner for fit throwing they would have starved...

Maybe you should sit with her a half hour before your dinner for her dinner time. We are used to sitting at the table for 15 minutes and then being done. Little people take alot longer.

Good luck to you

This thought just came to my mind. She will also sense the tension between you and your husband which may fuel her tantrums...you guys can express your frustrations with words. She can only cry and point and make sounds...

Answer 2

OMG I'm going throught the EXACT same thing with my 20 month old daughter. She use to eat EVERYTHING in sight. She loved those little Gerber Graduate meals and would eat the whole thing and then one day, about a month or 2 ago she woke up and decided she didnt want to eat anything. She has about 5 foods that she will eat and thats it. It makes me sooo mad because she refuses foods that I know she once loved. I've tried several tactics. The first was to make her sit in her high chair until she ate it. That didnt work. The other was to not let her have anything else until she ate what was offered. So if she didnt eat whatever it was for lunch then it went into the fridge and she stayed hungry until dinner, and then I would reheat it and try again. That didnt work either. They say children only have "control" over 2 things, and that is what they eat, and going to the bathroom. You cant force either of those two things upon them, so they use it to their advantage knowing you cant do anything about it. I think 20 months is an awkward age. You cant reason with them like an older toddler. You cant say "hey eat such and such number of bites or just try it". I think it is something that they will just grow out of. I mean who wants to eat chicken nuggets everyday for the rest of their lives. It doesnt mean she will always be a picky eater. I just try to be patient and offer new foods but dont force them. I also recently picked up a liquid vitamin to give her once a day just to make sure she was getting nutrients since shes ditched most of her fruits and veggies for the time being. Oh, and as for your husband. I think his punishments are a little too much for a 20 month old. It's not something she will likely understand. Goodluck and hang in there. You certainly arent alone

Answer 3

my mom told me i was a picky eater and her mom was always on her case about me because i'd only eat certain things. my advice to you is dont push it, seriously. maybe you can mix foods with her other faves to help her eat better, just try different combos. if that doesnt work just relax, i'm still a pretty picky eater, but its not worth stress on all of you guys.  

Answer 4

when my  daughter was two she used to be real whiney in the store she wanted every toy and right then. One day I took her to the store and she started whining. I asked her to stop and she didn't. So I told her to pick out everything she wanted he went to the toy isle and she had about half a basket. I asked her if she had what she wanted and she said "yes". So we made our way to the exit and as we got to the front I pushed the basket to the side and we left. After she cried i explainded to her she wasn't going to get anything ever again unless she listened and behaived. I haven't had a problem since. Take your child to McDonald's let them pick exaclty what they want pay for it. Then throw it away and leave. Then tell them if they want what they want, they have to eat what you want them to eat too. Good luck

Answer 5

I Agree with your husband.

I think that that little girl has to understand that food doesn't only consist of only sugar.

I think being a firm parent is a good foundation for a child when growing up.

not to say your husband should be Sergeant Slaughter, but just firm enough to understand that food is not play time and you can't fast forward to dessert.

I know with my daughter if she doesn't eat her food i put her food away so when she is hungry she would still have that meal until she understands that she cannot have her dessert until she eats her dinner.

I would have to applaud your husband for being very interactive with your daughter instead of sitting in the back seat looking for you to take of her the issue.

Answer 6

smack her tell her repsect your authorita and to eat wat u tell her to before u send her to a thrid world country

Answer 7

I agree with your husband!

Answer 8

She is also a very smart girl that knows if she doesnt get what she wants, she can throw a fit and eventually get what she wants (yogurt or other snack). I'm sorry but i agree with your husband on this one.

Answer 9

She is a smart little girl that will quickly learn who she can manipulate.  All kids are that way.  Maybe you should wait until she is a little older before insisting she try new things.  Your husbands approach does sound a little harsh for a 20 mo old.   Agree to put certain foods on her plate, and that she should try them.  Put both stuff she likes and one new item on her plate.  She should finish what you give her, if she doesn't like the new item, that is fine, but she needs to eat the rest of it and that is what she gets - no shoving the new item aside so she can have cookies.  If she cleans her plate she gets dessert, if she doesn't clean her plate then when dinner is over, it is over.  No snacks later because she is still hungry.  Good luck.

Answer 10

Fix her a plate and give her no other options, with no snacks, etc until she eats some of her meal. She will eventually get hungry enough to eat what you have fixed and she will learn. As far as time out goes it is recommended to only do one minute per year of age until they are older.  

Answer 11

I don't think she should be put in a time out to scream and cry for not wanting to eat. Try getting her to try new things one at a time mixing it with things she likes. Every child at that age goes through a time when they only want certain foods. nothing to be punished over. and I think she is a little young for the go to bed hungry thing. Just keep trying a little at a time and if she dont eat it so what. at least shes eating what she likes.