20 year old mums?

Question

Has anyone had a baby young?

Young mums get such a bad reputation, but i would really like to hear from someone who's actually made it and is happy!! I understand it's not ideal, but at the same time, it doesn't have to be such a tragedy. Can young parents (13-21) still get qualifications? People make out like the children of teenagers are more likely to be in prison, but is this actully true?????? It sounds pretty general to me. I'd love to have kids quite young, maybe around 23??

x

Answer 1

Well I was 20 when I had my first child and I wish I had waited a bit longer.  

But yes I really wish I had waited as it was just too difficult for me at the time and I was too naive to be a mother.  

Although, some girls that age do actually make great mothers.  My own mother was 19 when she had her first and was always an excellent mother.  Although she was married and had a good support network of family.  

It really depends on the girls situation.

*SL

Answer 2

i am 24 and i have a 3 yr old son...and im a very resonsible and mature mom.....and im sorry i think i am a better mom then some of the "older" moms who look down on me as a mother because of my age...i see moms who are in their 30's and 40's with kids the same age as my son and for the most part they arent doing a better job then younger moms....my son has manners and says please/thank you more then most kids i see...was potty trained waaaaay before the age of 3 while most kids i see at that age are still in diapers and so on and im sorry but most of those kids who have "older moms" are left to daycare because mom has a career that comes first (not saying all moms...i understand some moms have no choice for daycare)....i am finishing my bachelors degree...and i dont understand why i get snotty looks from other moms all the time..they look at me like i must be some trashy S****y woman who got knocked up because i was irresponsible  (i was married for 3 yrs before i got pregnant)........i dont get it

Answer 3

I got pregnant at 19 and am 20 now.  We are counting down until he comes!  The pregnancy wasn't planned but my husband and I are thrilled and so happy!  I don't regret getting pregnant.  I am almost done with school and will get to be a stay at home mom.

Answer 4

I had my kids ab it too young ,I'm 28 & have 4 kids. I had my first at just turned 15. I left school with no qualifications and had my second child at 17 ,I had jobs working on markets then factory work ,I still managed to have a life ,but only because i have a supportive family.I went on to have to more children & now ( though it took me a long time) I have qualifications in Itq ,ecld ,phycology & a few refresher courses.& am at collage doing the second part to ecdl.

Answer 5

I had my daughter at 20 (can I even say had her she is adopted) I know long story. it's really common where I'm from for mother's to be young. I'm 22 and I'm married my husband adopted my daughter as his own when we married and we are doing really well. I think its easier on moms who at least have their high school diaploma's because better jobs are available.

Answer 6

i got pregnant when i was 20, im 21 now, my little girl is 9 months. i have good a levels and go back 2 uni in september to train as a nurse. i also live with my daughters dad and we are happy, we struggle a huge amount, especially financially. but i wouldnt change it 4 the world. i love my daughter and her dad.i dnt think being young makes u a bad mum at all, my mum was only 16, but ive never been in trouble, never really drank smoked, and allways got good grades. and i think im a pretty good mum. my daughter gets everything she could ever want and she is amazing for her age. i do look quite young and i get comments sometimes, but they are just ignorant, though whre i live thre are a lot of young mums and the way they act with thre children is awful. but thts because of thre upbringing, theyd be the same if theyd waited till 30 to have kids. but i think everyone deserves a chance, and should be given it.

Answer 7

I got pregnant when I was 17 and I was 18 when my son was born!  Young mums do get a bad reputation and its a shame beacuse back in the day women had their babies when they were young.

I went to college when my son was 1 and a half and done computing and then business.  I have a good job and Im now on Maternity Leave as I've just had my 2nd baby and Im now 26.  

My son who is now 8 is a well mannered polite little boy with lovely freinds.  With hindsight I would say wait until your older just because I would say go to college or uni first cause when your there you will see many ppl without children and you end up missing out on a lot of things, its not much of a sacrafice if you know the joy of actually having a baby but no point in wondering.  

But you will know yourself when your actually ready for a baby and its not hard to get qualifications if you have a baby.  Like someone else said colleges have creches and my son went to nursery full time from the age of 2, this was next to the college.

Answer 8

I wanted kids at 23, and I ended up getting pregnant at 19 and I had my baby girl when I was 20. And I have to say it is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I am actually pregnant again 5 months later and happy as can be. I love having my own family. I honestly don't think there is anything better in the world than being with your whole little own family playing together. I ignore people that make comments like that because I am probably a better mother than a lot of older woman that have kids, it is such a generalization. I have never been happier.

Answer 9

I was pregnant at 20, and am married to her father and we're planning number two!  I plan to be a stay at home mum until they are both at school and then go back to university.  I have lots of people look down their noses at me for being so young (I'm 22 now, but look much younger!) but in reality, I stay in with my daughter rather than going out drinking and drug taking like some other people my age, I spend my weekends at zoos and fun farms rather than in pubs and my husband and I take care of her ourselves rather than expecting others to.  I've found that a lot of people assume that because I am young, that she was a mistake and when I tell them she was planned they think it's irresponsible, but I have stopped worrying about what people think!  My daughter is happy, healthy, loved and cared for and that's all that matters.  Age doesn't affect your ability to be a parent.

Answer 10

I am 20-years-old and have two boys, a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old.  I have been married three years, my husband is in the military and I stay at home with the boys while also running my own business by making slide show DVDs which earns me $5000 a month.  My 2-year-old is potty trained, knows his ABCs and can count to 20 - says "yes mam/sir, no mam/sir, sorry and calls everyone Miss, Mrs, or Mr."  As long as my husband and I keep raising them they way we have been, I don't see any reason as to why they would end up in jail.  We tend to stay away from drama.

My parents had my brother and I at a young age and we are both raised to be respectable people.  I have never done drugs, drank alcohol, or even smoked a cigarett.  I have never had to call the cops because of a disturbance at my home because of an out-of-hand party, my parties are cookouts after church, pampered chef, or homade gormet parties.  Our good friends happen to the precher and his wife, a cop and his wife, and a bunch of married military men and their wives.  I kind of think the situation is different if you surround yourself with bad people who do bad things and are raising their children in that kind of environment - that is where you get a lot of bad reputations for teenage parents.

Answer 11

i had my first baby at 20 and ive managed fine ive even had two since, i didnt get any qualifications since though ive become a SAHM since my first son and my husband works. i couldnt imagine my life without them now and defiently couldnt imagine starting a family at 30 or over. young mums can make just as good mums if not better we totally devote our life to them and have much more energy i think it comes easier to us them someone who has been carreer driven till 30 and then deciding to have a  family, just my opinion im sure many will disagree

Answer 12

I had my daughter 2 weeks after I turned 18. She is 10 now, and while we have had our tough moments its been great. I graduated from university last year and nobody was prouder than her. I will say this much though, while I wouldnt change her for the world I will never do it by myself again, for both her sake and mine. In terms of age, I know people in their 40s who are in need of some parenting tips!!

Answer 13

I am not a mother, but my best friend's mother had my friend when she was 17 or 18. They are working out just fine :)

Answer 14

20 isnt a young mom 16 is..18-20 is average for a first child and not rare at all

Answer 15

Im not 20, im 18 and have a 13 week old son... yes you can still get qualifications, colleges have a creche that you can put your baby in or theres home learn courses or even childminders! no it isnt true that  children of teenagers end up in prison cos its up to the parent to look after their children properly and teach them right from wrong.

Answer 16

I'm not a mum myself but I know someone who had a baby with her boyfriend just after she turned 20, it wasn't planned but three years later they got married and now have another child together, they've been married for 3 years now and she has her own beauty business. Also I went to university with a really sweet girl who was 22 year old single mother with a 3 year old son, she got her degree and although it was a struggle (she often missed out on nights out when she couldnt find a babysitter) she did it so I think its possible to have kids young and have a good lasting relationship/get qualifications. Plus both those girls seem like really good mums and I think their kids will be proud of them when they're older for acheiving so much so young whilst raising a family.

Answer 17

im 14... and no im not a mum... but....

my brothers ex and my brother has a child..... she was 15 and he was 16 at the time of the birth......neither of them are the fittest of parents, both have been in prison (hence the baby living with his grandmother) when their not on drugs or drinking they are happy people, and they both adore their son and dont regret it.

my sister is 16, she is pregnant and will be 17 when the baby arrives. she and her bofriends are very happy, both got jobs and not on drugs (anymore!) my sister intends to go back to college after the baby is one. she will do a child care course instead of hairdressing and the father is training to be a chef.

my sisters best friend has had two kids by 20, and she is very happy, is currently in education (cant remember what she is studying).

in conclusion.... not all young parents are drug using or asbo holding idiots, but some are.... it just so happens my family and friends are the perfect example of both sides of the story!