2010 olympics question?

Question

How does the Canadian Olympic Committee decide how much money to give each winter sport’s national organization? For example, do organizations like Biathalon Canada and Hockey Canada get the same amount or not? If not, which sport in Canada gets the most funding?

Answer 1

That's a good question.

The hockey players are paid in Kegs of Labatt's and Gift Certificates from Tim Horton's. They trade these to the reps from Koho and CCM for new skates and sticks.

The ski team is funded by a charity back bacon cook off held every August on Lake Louise. Its followed by a Celene Dion and Barenaked Ladies concert.

Sales of Kids in the Hall DVDs are diverted to the Bobsled and Luge teams. Except rumor has it Dave Foley holds out and puts his share of the proceeds into the Figure Skating Team.

The rest of the Figure Skating team is funded by an annual collection taken up by the strippers on St. Catherines. I heard the take from the g*y strip bars is usually 25-40% higher than from the girlie bars.

The snowboard team tried selling weed, but they ended up smoking most of it instead, so now they are funded privately by Neil Young.

The biathalon team hunts moose and sells the meat to buy new skis and ammo. They get their guns from the French biathalon team...practically new too...hardly ever fired.

Finally, the speed skating team gets their money by walking up and down the ski lift lines at Whistler every spring. On a good year they can usually take in $4000 in cash and merchandise dropped by rich skiers and sell some of the stuff on eBay.