22 yr old, no bf or husband, feel i might be ready for kids. what to do? should i go to a sperm bank???

Question

ok i'm 22 yrs old i have a gr8 job just got a bachelor's degree and i'm gettin settled into a new life where i'm being more independent. the thing is though i think i may be ready to have a child. i'm afraid of the thought of being a bad mom, i'm afraid of the pain but sometimes i just feel motherly. like seeing new mommies, i love that. but i dont have a boyfriend and haven't had se* in almost 6 months. is this normal...y do i feel this way? ok i dont wanna speak anything bad on myself but this is just how i feel sometimes. y do i have this urge to have children, even though i dont have a bf or husband?

Answer 1

congratulations on finishing your undergraduate degree!  Many women don't bother to do that before they have children.

I would give it a few years.  Enjoy being young and carefree.  This is your time to learn, grow, and mature.  

it will make you a better mother in the long run!

Answer 2

NO! Wait until you find the guy you love! Even though I'm soon to be 22, I feel lie I could have waited a few more years now.

Answer 3

I'm 19 with a steady boyfriend who is 25, we're both employed and we're both financially stable as individuals and as much as I sometimes think he and I would make great parents right now instead we opted to go with a puppy :-) Probably one of our better decisions... We get this hyper little guy (his name is Jack) who we can coddle and spoil like crazy and the best part... When we decide that we do want kids our puppy will be a little older and a little calmer so our kids can have the opportunity to grow up with a pet.

So try getting a puppy if you want to play "mom". Then when you're in a stable relationship or even if you're older and still single - you can have a baby.

Answer 4

You have the urge to have a child because it is inbuilt in most women - it is the sole reason women are put on this earth. However, please think very carefully about having a baby now - just seeing new mums and wanting one yourself is not enough reason. It sounds to me like you are lonely and want someone who loves you unconditionally. But why not enjoy your career and new life and think about babies in a few years. When you meet someone you want to settle down with, you will be glad you waited, I am sure.

Answer 5

don't do the sperm bank.

you sound lonely.  find jesus

Answer 6

No, no, no, no.  You are so young.  Yes, 22 is young.  You have alot of time.  I didn't have my first child until middle 20's.  You can meet someone in the next year, date for a year, married in a year and have kids right away (you'll be 25 or 26 - perfect age!).  You never know what can happen.

Answer 7

NONONONONONONONO.  Wait 8 years and see how you feel.

Answer 8

This is your decision, but you act as if you are 45 and haven't found a husband yet.  It's totally normal to not be settled down at 22 years old.  I don't understand why you are trying to rush so much.  Good job or not, taking care of a child is not an easy task - even with two parents.

My opinion, you should wait!  A while.  You have a long time to find someone still.  Women today are waiting longer and longer to have children.

Buy a puppy - see how that works.

Answer 9

It's very natural to have maternal urges, but you have to be strong and not act on them. You are obviously very intelligent and have willpower if you've got a degree, so just carry on and soon you will meet someone who you will love enough to start a family with. In this way you will be able to support your children to the best of your ability, and give them the father they deserve.

Answer 10

Don't do it. You are so young and you sound like your life is going great. Wait until you are older, settled down and until you meet someone you want to have a baby with. Enjoy your time.

Answer 11

ok, look. Kids change your entire life, for good. Let me see, how can I explain it?

ok

like, as if one day you are walking and laughing and buying things, then the baby comes, and you are broke and lonely and still not having s*x , and there is a little tiny human DEPENDING on you to help it . It is crying and crying, and so are you. Kids are great. Im just saying, your entire life will be changed, and forever. There is a bit more to it then hugging babies.

Answer 12

Lol you are only 22 years old, you have your whole life to have children, why do it now?  My mom had me when she was 30.  You still have so much to experience without children and just because you aren't with someone right now doesn't mean anything, you should just wait until you meet the right guy and settle into a family with him.  Don't rush into things because you may end up regretting it.  And if you are just starting out at a new job, how do you plan on caring for the little one?  You will need to take at least a year off unless you are planning on putting them in daycare in which case I say what is the point of having a child if you are just going to end up paying someone else to raise them?

why don't you get a puppy or kitten for the mean time, you will feel so much love for them and will be there mommy until you are actually ready for a child.

Answer 13

Normal??? yep. Take action and go to a sperm bank/??no

Answer 14

You have the urge because you are a woman, and something in our genetics pre-programs us to be mothers. It is a great thing, and you are totally normal to have this urge.

When I was 22, I totally felt the same way--I wanted to be a mom. I looked into foster parenting, even, but I wasn't stable enough at that time to meet all their requirements. Instead, I helped other people with their children! It was great...I got all the baby LOVES without having to deal with the getting up at night, etc.

I am so glad I waited until after I was married and stable and stuff before I had a baby (at age 26). I love my daughter, but it is WONDERFUL to be able to hand her to "Daddy" when I don't feel well, or need a minute to shower, etc. I also can't imagine being pregnant without his support--I was sick every day for 9 months and he took care of the cooking, shopping, most of the laundry, etc., because once I got off work I was throwing up.

A baby is wonderful, and when the time comes for you to have one, you will love it. But please wait...it's soooo much harder than you can imagine.

Answer 15

it would help to know how long and how often you think/feel this way. understand that when you have a child, you forfeit a "pool" of guys to choose as possible partners. Single mom's really do have it hard. If you have family close by, ask them what they think of your decision. If not, don't have a child. I am sure you know (or have heard) that a child is a 24 hr. job. You have to p/u your child at a certain time, no dating for a while, stretch marks and extra weight, and no overtime work. I think it would be best to wait a year or so, and see how you feel then. Do research on single mothers. That might help you get a better idea of what your in for. Good Luck!

Answer 16

first answer is right wait 8 years it may be a while but age 22 something might go wrong and u should have a husband to hgelp u take care of the child i am a guy but i know because it might stress u out all by ur self taking care of a baby all by urself with the crying and poooping and feeding its tough i know cause i used to baby sit 18 hrs a day and i was stressed so wait 8 years get a bf or husband and dont go to sperm bank have 1 of ur own and not someone elses