22+4 days pregnant and confused about my boyfriends feelings...?

Question

I am over the moon to be pregnant, and although it hasn't always been an easy ride so far, crazy pregnant lady hormones etc, I am so excited about having a baby. My boyfriend and I have been arguing lately, which i have apologised for as I know my hormones are all over the place, but he is confusing me so much as to where me and the baby stand in his life. I work full time, my BF works a few hours each day. I come home after my 10 hour shift and I still have to do everything round the house and cook his dinner, which is fine but he never seems grateful and says it isn't me doing the cooking anyway, its the oven, same with the washing, he doesn't understand sometimes i am so tired. He won't massage my back for me when it aches, he doesn't like to touch my growing bump, doesn't seem excited at the kicks etc. We also have a female dog. He lavishes her with love and attention, the kind I crave from him especially at the moment and I am ashamed to say it makes me feel al little jealous

Answer 1

Tell him exactly how you feel and say he has a choice of either being in yours and the baby's life or there's the door.  Tell him you don't want a part time husband and father.  He has to pull his weight.  If he doesn't, fine - you'll cope on your own.  You will too, trust me and at least that way you've given him the choice.

Answer 2

You need to really consider being a single mom. He sounds like an immature kid. I don't think once the baby is born it will change. And since the oven cooks and it's not you let the oven cook for him and let the washing machine wash his clothes but don't assist the appliances in any way and see what happens. You know if it's your place he needs to get out. You are about to support a baby time is up for you supporting him. I am not trying to be rude just want you to see things for what they appear. A saying rings true " the best determination of ones future behavior is their past behavior"

Answer 3

WOW ....You are a very nice lady ....he is a jerk and he needs to know that ...have you told him.? You need to kick him off the good life..He should be sooo happy that you are going to make him the most important person in this world to a lil someone. I think you need to let him know that he is acting like a fool and needs to wake up ...But at the same time give him a chance to try to change and get him involved with your belly and make him responsable too ....he needs to help you around the house cause the way he is going hi is not gonna even be there for the baby ither..good luck and hope everything changes for you ....

Answer 4

I think you both need to sit down and talk things through and see if having a baby is what you both want because it seems to me that he needs to face up to the fact  that he is going to be a parent and if he isnt ready then go it alone as you could be a great mum and it wouldnt be worth having another child to look after.

Hope you sort things out and good luck :-)

Answer 5

He's a lazy bar-steward that needs an ultimatum.

Answer 6

ewww..dump him, how is he gonna act when you're like 35 weeks pregnant?! thats horrible....he just makes life harder for you.

Answer 7

im sorry to say that it sounds like you should get out of this relationship BEFORE you give birth. It might be hard to imagine being a single mum, but this man is no good for you or your child. If he cant show you love how is he going to show the baby love? And does he expect you to cook and clean when the baby comes too? A man doesnt allow his partner to slave away in the house while he sits on his butt watching tv. And he only works a couple of hours a day? Do you support him? Perhaps you have low self esteem, but you need to snap out of it and get out of that relationship now!

Answer 8

This is why its really important to get to know someone before getting pregnant. That might sound mean, but even if you are living with someone for a while they can still change when it comes to gender roles and pregnancy. Chances are you can try to talk to him, but his ideas of how parents relate and women's place in the home are probably pretty cemented in from the values instilled in him as a kid.

Answer 9

Perfect candidate for next weeks jeremy kyle.

"My Boyfriend Loves Our Dog More Than Me"

sorry. i'm al little angry at the moment, this an impulse response. normal service will be resumed after this short break.

~

And relax.....

Answer 10

Wow! Well, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Pregnancy should the most happiest time in a couples life. However, giving your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt he may be a bit overwhelmed with the arrival of your baby. He might have not been prepared for it and he is just now adjusting to reality. On the other hand only you know weather or not he is worth trying, and when I say that I mean going to conunseling and trying to work things out. If he has always been this way, then I'm sorry but you knew this before the baby. If these are the first reactions & feelings towards you and he has in fact appriciated you in the past then I say go for it try counseling and the whole 9 yards but if he was like this before I highly doubt he would change. But perhaps once the baby arrives he changes his ways of seeing things.

Answer 11

you should talk to him and tell him how you feel,

you need to make sure that your relationship is excellent before bringing a baby into the world,

good luck on becoming a mama!

x

Answer 12

Your boyfriend is being really selfish and seem s to be putting too much effort into the dog, you have to talk to him and tell him that things have to change, you need support now and especially when the baby comes. It takes two not just one and you seem to be doing all the giving..good luck :)

knock it on the head now, you dont want to be doing everything while he lounges around with that mutt.