25% of children are expected to have been fathered by men other than the one named?

Question

This is something I was told by my sons doc. She suggested that I contact his first parents and reassure his paternity because of some medical issues.

I felt kids wrong about doing that. Any way she said that "25% of children are expected to have been fathered by men other than the one named"

Is this something you've heard too?

Also I got a lot of answers yesterday and people stated that they were very tall and their parents are short. do you think its' more likely that they are fathered by a man other than the one who raised them or more likely that they take after some distant relative.

I can't help but wonder. Geez, She (my sons doc) has me comparing my pic to my dads.LOL. we look nothin' alike.

Answer 1

I don't know if that statistic is accurate or not.  But I feel that if we are going to discuss things like this that we do not blame women any more than men in these situations.  The men involved with a pregnant woman are equally at fault if paternity is in question.  I feel that looking down upon a woman for not knowing the paternity of her child is sexist.  Unless the same judgments are applied to the men.

Answer 2

Andraya, you go girl!!!

To answer: I disagree with your doctor that is an inflated number. Just because he is adopted doesn't mean his mother slept around. Married woman can sleep around too.

My husband had a friend who did the same when he and his wife seperated and the new little woman wanted him to herself.  My husbands basically told him to get a spine and take care of his kid. What kid wants to grow up and find out their father or his family tried to make their mother ou as some wh*re???

Oh! And they WILL find out because nosey family members

always spill the beans.

What happened to raising our boys to respect woman?

Answer 3

I don't expect anyone to believe anything I say. I hope that they do since I am no liar but...

When my first daughter was born her father and his family seriously doubted her paternity. I welcomed the idea of a DNA test. I wanted to prove to them that I wasn't being dishonest, that he was her father and that they had screwed up, not me. His mother actually asked me about this when I was around 8 months pregnant. My response was "Of course the baby is his! I haven't got a loaded effing finger here!" that shut her up for a few months lol. My son's father never doubted until his new woman came in and wanted him all to herself... then came the doubts and I can't wait for the day that he can test agaisnt our son and see that he is Justin's dad. My youngest daughter's paternity was never doubted... that would have been stupid seeing as how she looks nothing like me and everything like him. Am I allowed to doubt maternity?

In the end I think it is rather funny that women have to constantly prove who they have slept with and when they did so. Ever doubted a man when he said he bumped uglies with someone? Oh but wait... men can't be raving wh*res! Only women can, my bad.

Answer 4

She is basing this on statistics revealed by DNA testing labs for people suing for child support.  Keep in mind that if they tested EVERYBODY, the stat would actually be much lower.  Those who are being tested have reason to believe that all is not kosher.  

I think your doc is a jerk.  I would be more inclined to question her professionalism than the paternity of your child. Find a new doc. If that doc can't make a medical diagnosis without the parental information, the doc is a quack.  It is RARE that parental information is actually needed in the treatment of a child or young person.

Answer 5

Do you have siblings? Do you look like them? I know a girl who has 4 kids and none of them look like her. Just because you aren't a duplicate of your parents doesn't meant they are hiding something from you. I think your doc is overreacting or else you have to consider that 25% isn't really that much.

Answer 6

if you look through the rest of the family portraits, you can often find a likeness, and a lot of kids will look like their dad at birth, even when they don't later, so look at your babypictures.

For an adopted child, the issue may be more complicated, as the mother may not be sure who the father is.

Answer 7

OMG!!! How would u feel if somebody else was raising your child you gave birth to and them called u up to ask if ur sure about who its father was??

WTF??

Answer 8

I think the old doc might be making it up.

Where are the statistics to prove this theory.

As for you Dad a quick and inexpensive dna test may put your mind at rest; or not . . . .  ;)

ETA:   I take exception to the comment in the first answer that with an adopted child the mother may not know who the father is - just what are you implying about mothers who relinquish their babies for adoption, kindly explain this prejudice.

Answer 9

Ask the doctor to provide further statistical support for her opinions.  Let's face it, it is possible.  But, I've been told things by doctors with certainty that later proved only to show how much those doctors DIDN't know.

Answer 10

Actually the statistics are closer to 8%, rather than 25%, according to one of the web discussion groups I'm on.  We were discussing rh factor inheritance and rhogam usage, and it was said that doctors are taught to NEVER believe a woman about paternity or date of conception.

Answer 11

Hi Bella,

I was trying to give this doc a fair shake.  Maybe its time for a second opinion.  There is a reason why i do not tell school, church, etc my children are adopted, the negative stereotypes.  If the child is having any problems at school and adoption is a known fact, be prepared for this question "are you sure the first mother didn't do drugs?"  Its rude and unfair and i do not want people using adoption as a scapegoat as to why my child might be having issues.  

Of course, you have to be forthcoming at the doctors office.  To me its beginning to sound like this doc is trying to blame adoption.  A woman who gave her child away probably doesn't even know who the father is, stereotype.  I would not stand for this!  Its insulting, disrespectful and rude to make this assumption about the first mother of your child.  Personally, I'd switch doctors immediately.

Its not talked about much in the adoption community but this stereotyping can be "standard" practice in many organizations.  I don't tolerate it.  I want the facts.  Show me the proof that its adoption.  Take adoption out of the question, what else could be causing this issue?  Yes, i acknowledge that there definately could be issues related to adoption but many times it has nothing to do with adoption at all.  Its often someones biased opinions about what the first parents "could have" exposed the child to.  Bleech!

Those odds are seriously high to me.  I think its more likely that some of kids take after distant relatives.  Seriously get a second opinion and see what the next doc says.

ETA:  Linda is a good example of what i'm talking about.

Answer 12

Well, I don't know exactly.  I have never heard that one.  Maybe he was being sarcastic.

I only know of one way this would happen;

I had a vasectomy when I was 21, and never had children.  My first wife got pregnant right after we split (almost 5 years after the surgery).  She put my name on the birth certificate. The father was unemployed.  She claims the people at the hospital told her to put me down so she can get more money.  Needless to say, this headache followed me up until she gave up the baby for adoption.  I nearly had my pay garnished over this.