2nd time around? Is it real?

Question

Im with the most amazing man I have ever met. We met randomly and have been to h**l and back since. We have THAT connection. He's been divorced for over 5yrs and has 2 beautiful children which I have an incredible bond with. I've been blessed in that aspect. Now,problem is,im having a hard time believing he's truly in love with me. Call it insecurities...I dunno..but one tends to develop that over the years of getting hurt...we have quite a gap in our age too..but that's one of the things I believe that has played in my favor...he knows what I want..he knows what I need...he reads my mind...and thats what scares me..because im a control freak when it comes to emotions..i never show mine...till im given some sort of guarantee..crazy,right? Hey...im being honest :)

I know many(including family) are going to go crazy when and if we take this to another level...but thats a chance im willing to take. His touch makes sense to me. Make sense? A huge part of me says "go for it!"..but you know that voice right? that little f-in annoying voice in the back of ur head sayin "r u suuuuure?"...all i need from y'all is 1 answer. Either "go 4 it!" or "R u suuuuure?"

Merci!

PS: He's asked me to move in with him in a few months...

Answer 1

I am missing one VITAL piece of information here.

How long have you 2 been together?

If you tell me anything less than 2 years I'm going to reach through my internet connection and slap you where you sit.

I'm not sure what 'level' you are talking about, but I'm assuming you are talking about marrying him.   I don't even THINK about marriage until the 3 year mark.  You NEED that time to truly know someone.

Also, it seems to me like you are still holding back.  You're afraid, and that's understandable.  But you've gotta be able to communicate through that if you are going to have a healthy relationship.  There's just no other way.

Build on your relationship.  Give it the time it needs, and when you're ready, you won't just think it, you'll know it.

Answer 2

There are no guarantees in life, see where this takes you.  But I might hold off on moving in with him until you're more certain.

Answer 3

2nd time around is often better than the 1st time - you know what you want (and dont want!) and with maturity comes wisdom!  Its normal to be insecure - I'm like you, with a wonderful guy and I too ask myself why is he with me, will it last, I love him to bits, I'm jealous and vulnerable ..... but hey, I'm in love and so are you!  Its a great feeling - go for it, you only live once and should live life with no regrets.  Listen to your heart.  He obviously adores you because he's thinking of the future - share the future with him.

Answer 4

GO FOR IT!!!

girl, you seem like you love him... my man and i met at the total wrong time, and i think it has done nothing but strengthen us.. we're both divorced, bankrupt, and now, unemployed.. all the odds stacked against us.. but, when 2 people can make it, and stay in love through the hardest of times, without killing each other, then its right... to me, its that i feel like i could live in a cardboard box under a bridge with my man if i had to, just to saty together... even if i am mad at him, i still want to go home to him... we have a 9 year difference, he also has 2 yound daughters whom i love and have bonded with as well... we have ben together over a year, with a promise to spend our life together.. its not the right time for marriage and transition for the kids yet... slow and steady, we will win... and so will you... i question his love and commitment sometimes too - i wonder if he stays just because i have such a great bond with his girls and he doesnt want to have them lose me, just as he would have done a lot to save his marriage for them - but in all reality, i think that older, divorced men with kids have a better sence of how to treat women and i dont think he'd f**t around with you if he didnt want to stay... he already lost some time with his ex wife - now that part is over, he prolly doesnt want to lose any more time.. he has bigger things to worry about - namely, his kids... dont worry, go 4 it!

Answer 5

Congratulations by the way.

You don't say how long the two of you have been together which would be a real help in knowing how to answer your question.  You sound so in love, crazy love, that I can't help but wonder if you've only been dating less than a year.  If that's the case, then you two are moving too fast.  If you were meant to be together then I think you should wait to move in together until you had been a couple for a couple of years, for the sake of stability for the children.

Don't know what you meant by your family will go crazy.  Because he has kids?  The age difference?  

In a nutshell, if you have to ask the questions of us that you are, then there is still some doubt in your mind.  If it was the right thing for you, then there would be no question, you wouldn't have to ask others' opinions.  If you get to a point where it just feels like the right thing to do, then you will already have your answer.

Answer 6

Do you love him? Do you want to be with him? If you do - then go for it! He has some kind of feelings for you or he wouldn't ask you to move in with him! If he makes you happy- then be happy & don't worry about what others might say!

Answer 7

That little voice u hear in d bck of ur mind is ur concience...whenever i did not listen to it bad things always happened...like one time i got stolen (my hand bag - snach & run thing) - u should always listen to that voice....if it says that ur not ready yet..then wait until u r...trust in d little voice...

Answer 8

Go for it :)

Answer 9

Avoid moving in with him.  If he truly loves you, and his children, he will propose!  

Answer 10

go 4 it life is too short