3 1/2 year old purposely having "accidents"???

Question

I work in a three year old class room at a local christian preschool and we have this one little girl who is every day having "accidents", most seemingly on purpose. No, it is not peeing in there..... its the "other stuff". She was doing well for a while and at christmas she regressed into this again, and today had THREE "accidents"... She does this within an hour of getting into trouble or having to do something she does not like... HELP???? How can my co-worker and I help her stop, find another outlet, anything? We have talked to the parents but I dont think they get it or dont care.... What should we try? Thanks soooo much for your help!

Answer 1

wow, that is a horrible weapon she has!!!  if she pees in the toilet and one of you is with her, give her a treat and praise her a lot!  that way she will WANT to go in the toilet.  and tell her if she does number two in the toilet she gets TWO treats!

chocolate seemed to work on my niece.

if you're not allowed to give treats, then just make sure to give her some sort of reward (girls like stickers).

it's pretty sad that the parents don't care!  actually it's pretty disgusting..lol

Answer 2

Tell the parents they will have to keep her home until they can get her to stop.  That ought to get them in gear!  How disgusting!  And to expect you to clean her up?  NO WAY!!!  Either that or charge them extra for all your trouble!

Answer 3

Is it possible that she is being bullied by a peer or is living in an abusive home environment. Often when children are in a harmful environment they have more accidents, even if they were previously potty trained.

Answer 4

It sounds like she is regressing and trying to get attention by messing in her pants. She doesn't care whether it is positive or negative attention as long as she is getting attention. I would be very concerned that something is going on at home. Stress, parents fighting, abuse, etc. I would have her go and sit on the potty several times during the hour to see if you can get her to go poo poo on the toilet before she messes her pants. I would talk to your Director and let her know what is going on and that the parents don't want to address this problem. An appointment with the parents need to be set up with the Director and they need to get the problem under control. Maybe if the child is unable to attend if she cannot use the restroom and stop messing her pants then maybe they will solve the problem. I would be tempted to leave her in the messy pants and call the parent and make them come and pick up their child and clean it up. maybe they will get tired of having to do that.

This is not your responsibility to have to deal with all the excess. An accident once in awhile is no big deal, but on purpose not good.

I once worked in a 3 year classroom that the child would purposely make himself throw up several times a day. Luckily he would go over to to the trashcan. I fought and fought with the Director, but finally had him removed until the problem was solved.

Your director is not doing her job if she can't have this problem solved right away.

Answer 5

How do we repond to this behavior? If we make a big deal about it, she'll keep doing it forever just for the attention factor. If we see her in the act, we should call her parents immediately to take her home and clean her up. I bet the bahavior will stop really quickly if we do this!

Answer 6

I know this is really frustrating because I've had similar situations.  I find that the more emotionally involved I get with an angry child the more difficult the child becomes.  So try to remember that this is really not about you.

Your first goal is to build a relationship with this child so that she 1) trusts you, 2) feels respected by you, and 3) wants to please you.  Greet her in the morning, give her a high-five when she is doing something nice, have small talk with her.  The quicker you build this relationship the better.

Now this is her issue and she needs your help getting through it.  Let her know that you want to help her when she is angry or upset.  (Optional: Tell her you know that she knows where to p**p.)  Give her a pat on the back and tell her you have some ideas that you think will help.  Tell her that when she gets upset there are ways she can calm herself back down.  She can count to ten, think about her favorite toys or animals, sing a song softly, or draw a picture.  Tell her it can be really hard to calm yourself down and if she needs your help she should come to you and say, "I'm feeling angry."  That's your cue that she wants to control it and that she needs your help.

If she comes to you for help move to her right ear and sing one of her favorite song then count to ten.  If she's still angry find a way to get her mind focused on something else.  A visit to a fish tank or pet cage might do the trick.

The parents are probably in denial and don't know what to do.  They may also be making the problem worse by getting angry with her at home.  If you find something that works let them know ASAP so they can try it at home.  Your success can be ruined by frustrated parents that are being too hard on her.  Being a parent can be pretty difficult and having nightly battles takes all the fun out of it.

Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Are you trying to say that she's MASTURBATING??  seriously, why can't you just say that word, you probably do it 3 times a day too

Answer 8

next time she poops her pants... make her walk around with the p**p still in her pants till it gets all dry and nasty.  Maybe this will teach her a lesson.

Answer 9

sounds like she needs more attention and love

Answer 10

I would dare to say this little girl is not properly placed. In other words, she should not be in the class (assuming the class requires the child is toilet-trained). If toilet training is not a requirement for attendance, I'd suggest you tell her mother to supply diapers and wipes.

Answer 11

You already have several good answers. I would only add that a conference among teachers, parents and director is needed. Discuss what happens before, during and after the "accidents".  In past years I have had several children who were in my three year old class, four year old class and even in my Pre-k class that were not completely potty trained. Parents always said they had no answers. One thing I did do with the children was to make sure they helped to take off their clothes, they helped to put the dirty ones in plastic bags and some sort of help cleaning themselves up. We didn't let them touch the BM of course but they did see what they did and they had to actually take time and work at getting off and on all their clothes in order to go back to the classroom activities. This usually left them missing out on something fun. The biggest problem is making sure they have their privacy, keeping the bathroom doors open so the teacher is not completely alone with the child and keeping everyone clean. Lots of paper towels, wet wipes and plastic gloves of course. Professional help beyond school might be needed to know what is happening in this child's world. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 12

Maybe stress makes her p**p. Its hard to say but this isn't your problem The parents need to take her to a Dr. and get some help. You don't have to take the child until she is able to control these accidents.

Answer 13

I work in daycare and I remember one little boy deliberately pooping and then smearing the blocks with it!  He was under a lot of stress though!  Tell the parents that they need to start sending her in pull ups and, if they don't care, then maybe it is time to phone them to come and change her everytime this happens.  Maybe this is what works for her at home.  Parents need to communicate more to you or you will have to let her stay home until this behaviour stops.

Answer 14

i would use a pull up until she stops doing this...yes, it is attention but you shouldn't have to "pay the price"...maybe things are going on at home. also, if you can switch up the way things are done at the preschool for variety...great distraction...good luck

Answer 15

Wow - you have a situation here!  If a child poops in his/her pants at our preschool, the parent is called and the child is taken home.  we are not allowed to use baby wipes on our children but we can use a wet paper towel - make sure the bathroom door is open and your co-teacher is there and knows what you are doing (sad we have to think of these things but you don't want to take any chances).   Sounds like a conference in order with parents and teacher - director too if applicable.  Tell them she will not be allowed to come to preschool if she has an "accident" (peeing is one thing, she can change herself but this requires  help from a teacher which pulls her away from the other children).  Normally, (and I'm not saying this is normal behavior when she is able to do this more than once per day!), that will cure the behavior because she will be missing out on fun preschool activities.  Good luck - you definitely have your hands full with this one!

Answer 16

didnt your education cover this?