3 1/2 year old that wont listen.......?

Question

my son is 3 1/2 years old and he will not listen to anything that my husband or i say to him. he will make messes that are unreal and throw things just to have us laugh at him. we have tried time out in the chair and we have tried the corner, raising our voices, and even spanking. i dont like to do that but he wont listen for any of that. what are some ways that i should get him to listen to me? and should i have him put on ridoline?

Answer 1

My kids had the same thing they were born with adhd/odd, adhd. we have done all that you are doing then we decide to go through mental health it's getting better but not much my son his on concert 37 millgrams, and it does help i have a behavior system in my home which they have 7.00 fake dollars if they misbehave you tell them why you are taking it away. then take it away and when you catch them doing something good reward them and put the fake dollar back and praise them for doing good. I have web sites where i go.

Answer 2

He is just at that wild age. Spanking is good idea, but if you are timmid in this area, let your husband do it. The point here is to establish positive/negative reinforment. When he is acting out you need to first find an exceptible way for him to burn off his energy. When you spank him make sure you give it some time before you consul him, you dont want to send mixed messages. When he throws things take the toy and put it up where he can see it but cant play with it for the rest of the day. Try counting to 3, but if you should ever reach 3 its spanking manditory otherwise the kid will call your bluff.

Answer 3

Spinning back kick.  Once is enough.

Answer 4

Part of what you describe is a phase, but I'm uncertain about the part where he "throws things to have [you] laugh at him."  You should NEVER laugh openly at misbehavior, although I admit it sometimes is outrageously funny.

He is testing you.  You can't let him win!!  As juvenile competitive as that sounds, it is vitally important for the long-term well-being of your family that you don't let him win.  You are the parent.  YOU are the person in charge.  You just need to be firm and most of all, consistent, in your expectations and demands.  None of this multiple warning stuff without any follow through, no bargaining, no negotiating, no undercutting each other, no feeling sorry or relenting.  Enforce the disciplinary measures you have started in a consistent manner.  You don't need to be a tyrant, but you do need to be in charge.

This is important because when kids learn discipline at an early age, they don't need disciplining when they get older, and you get to enjoy them as real people.  But if they grow up undisciplined you are likely to find yourself in a constant battle of wills throughout their entire adolescence, and you don't want to go there.  So Cowboy Up for the next couple years, and then enjoy the ride afterwards....

Good luck.

Answer 5

Your son sounds like a normal 3 1/2 yr old. One thing that I noticed is you said he'd throw things so you would laugh... That's a big mistake. There is a great book called "How to Behave so your preschooler will too". I forget who it's by but you can get it at most libraries. This book helped me tons & I bet it will help you. Not to point the finger, but I'm guessing your actions are creating his, at that age, that's usually the case. Even if you think you aren't doing anything wrong. Quick example, my daughter started "sassing" me, when I focused on what she said, it was exactly what I would say to her when I was repremending her. I had to change how I spoke to her. Anyway, check out the book, I really do think it will help. Good luck

Answer 6

OMG I dont think he needs ritalin!!Sounds like my four year old, very typical behaviour for this age!

I ask mine to look at me when I am speaking to get her to focus (not easy). Sometimes I whisper in a quiet voice, it seems to get her interested in what I am saying and then she has to really listen to hear. Screaming absolutely does not work, I think kids think it's funny when we scream. Try (VERY HARD) to ignore the behaviour as much as possible because even negative attention is attention. As long as he is not hurting himself or others, try try try with all your might to ignore bad behaviour.

Answer 7

my mom decided toi put my on drugs when i was little instead of paying attention to me.... i wouldnt recommend that to anyone...ever.... it sounds like hes 3.5! my kid is almost 3 and he is a jerk!  he never listens, he dumps his beverages all over the floor (we are now on ONLY water) try positive reinforcement for when he does listen...it sounds dumb, but try it.  make him help you clean up the mess.  if he knows it sucks to clean, he wont be so excited to make the mess.  good luck

Answer 8

Are you serious?  Using a drug to control a child that is in need of parenting?  

He is acting like a normal 3 year old.  He needs consistent discipline and rules.  THat doesn't necessarily mean spanking but a consequence.  If you and your husband laugh at him when he throws things, he will continue to do so.

You need to figure out what behavior is acceptable in your home and then enforce the rules and enforce them consistently.  It will take time and it will take patience and a lot of effort.  More work than you can imagine.    There are countless books on the subject plus TV shows like The Nanny that offer very good insight on discipline.

Answer 9

He is doing things to get your attention. You should try spending some more quality time with him and set limits for him. If he does something that you don't like.....place him in the cornor for 3 minutes (a minute added to every year) and then make him clean up his mess. Do not put him on medication for acting like a normal 3 yr old. This is very normal behavior but he needs limits. Kids crave decipline.

Answer 10

typical...another parent wanting to jump the gun and medicate their child.  He is getting your attention and you guys as parents are enabling him.  Its ok, to laugh and encourage funny, and goofy behavior; hes just being a kid.  But DONT laugh one minute and then spank the next.  You are confusing the poor child.  Us as adults would go crazy if we were praised for doing something and then scolded the next for doing the same thing.  Next time he does something "funny" ignore it.  It may be hard, but do it.  Then gradually start to tell him not to do certain things when he does them.

Answer 11

well don't laugh at him, he gets the attention for it, so he's just going to keep doing it. duh.

get him tested for add or adhd.