3.5 year old and disipline?

Question

we have a 3.5 year old boy, he can be an angel most days but others he can simply not listen, if i smack him and send him to his room, he will come out and be exactly the same, if his dad does it then he changes, what can i do , when his dad is at work, so he listens to me? In the car its the same thing, not listening to me, it gets very frustrating.. If we're out, which isn't very often without hubby, but its the same thing, just wont listen to me, he'll know i'm talking to him as i get him to come to me, or i go to him and talk to him, but still wont listen..

I feel like he just walks over me sometimes, we have a daughter who's 7 months and they are great together, no problems there but he is very smart for a 3 year old too, but just need advice that i can use so he listens to me too...

Please help...

Answer 1

give him kisses and tell him he's a good lil boy. He needs to be taught how to treat a woman for when he gets older.

Answer 2

I use what I might call passive discipline. If he doesn't do what I say then I won't do what he wants. Like - "if you want me to get you lunch then please pick up those toys you were playing with". "If you misbehave in the car I will turn right round and we will go home." Don't get angry, don't use corporal punishment. Be very calm. We all need to learn that cooperation works best. It will take a little while to sink in and it will be hard getting through those times but eventually he will work it out.

Answer 3

As a mom, I've found that kids are able to determine at an early age which parent is somewhat of a pushover. Especially if you are the primary care giver. He doesn't see dad all day so there is a desire to please. When my son was young, I found it necessary to stick to my guns so that he could recognize that mommy means what she says. This doesn't mean going overboard with discipline. But simply standing your ground. If he comes out of his room doing the exact same thing then send him directly back while explaining that there needs to be a change in behavior. This will play on your heart strings if he decides to get emotional, but once again, you must be prepared to stand your ground.

Answer 4

well don't smack him. He's testing you. Put him in a chair in a corner where you can see him and tell him he can't get out until you say like for three minutes teh first time he does put him back and add another minute and be consistent when  he finally does hug him an let him go play. If you be consistent then he will know you aren't fooling around. in the car tel him if you dont stop will go home and follow up with it. He acts up in the cra you turn aroudn and go home

Answer 5

Omg, I had the exact same problem!

After a lot o thinking I found the perfect solution. Just do into the garden, or to the supermarket, grab some tools, and just let them do the work. Like I tried to hit him normally before but it just didnt pull of the trick to make him listen. The tools really worked...

Answer 6

Take away whatever he is playing with at the time until he listens. That's what I do with the three year old I babysit for. He does that too. Drives me crazy.

Answer 7

I have the same problem, but my daughters 1 year younger.. Well... does he have toys in his room that he plays with? if so place him in time out... If he wont listen take away his toys... kids hate that.. and tell him when he listens he can have it back.. as for the supermarket maybe take something that you think is an appropriate treat and a toy to distract him.. tell him if he is a good boy... once he gets back to the car he will get the reward... and only reward him if he is good.. just keep reminding him.. be a good boy and you will get the treat.. also try distracting him and talking to him.. wow look at that it looks like a huge dinosaur.. anything that works... and ask him lots of questions to keep him distracted.

Oh i just read the ladies comments above... i can't turn the car around and go home.. i've got things to do.. so i say to my daughter "If you don't stop being naughty i am going to pull the car over and you can get out" if she continues i pull the car over and pretend i'm going to take her seat belt off.. she listens right away and then i give her a warning... she rarely plays up after i say i'm going to pull over...it works for me...

And remember just be persistent with everything you do.. at the moment my daughters testing me more because she thinks i'm too busy to discipline.. even if i am breast feeding i get of my rear end and discipline my daughter. She's realizing that just because there's a new baby things haven't changed.. we might be more busy but our schedule is still the same.. the baby just fits in with our routine.. only thing is mummy needs to breast feed.

Answer 8

3.5 minutes timeout until he gets the point even if there is a lot of 3.5 minute timeouts in his day...try watching nanny 911 she's super! take tips from the show.