3 months into a new <span title="relationship...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?">relationship...HELP!!!!!!...</span>

Question

I met Mr. Right, so I thought. He's all that any woman would want. He's handsome, caring, giving, concerned, etc...This man is God sent. Why am I not in love with him? Some days, I miss him can't be without him...Other days I'm happy we're separated (he's at home and I'm at home). I've experienced so many disappointments in my life and he has truly swept me off my feet. I'm so up and down with my feelings though! I'm confused I'd say.

Am I burnt out? Should I take a break? Just when I want to give up and break it off, I'd look at a picture and this love comes over me all of a sudden. When he's away from me, I doubt we can make it. I don't know what I'm going through! I'm so used to failing at this point. I'm so used to men leaving by now and here he is, hanging in there. I love him, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I want to run away and hide! I feel like this is too much to take in; too much to think through! I'm trying my best not to give up on us because of fear. Is this normal to feel like this at 3 months? Why does my relationship feel like a burden and not a blessing? I don't know!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

It sounds like you&#039;re scared of something!! You said so yourself, &quot;I&#039;m so used to men leaving by now.&quot; Well, sounds like you&#039;re just waiting to get hurt instead of enjoying this guy. Why not go w/ the flow? You&#039;re so used to being let down. Give the guy a chance. Or are you afraid he IS Mr. Right? That can be a scary thing, and there&#039;s nothing wrong w/ that. Lighten up. If you&#039;re happy when you&#039;re separated from him is normal when you&#039;re used to having your own space, plus it&#039;s a good place for your &#039;scared-self&#039; to hide, right? Take it easy and see where the experience takes you!  

Answer 2

it sounds like you have been hurt in the past and you are waiting for that to happen again and you are scared of getting hurt so you are telling yourself not to fall in love. you probably need to realize this guy does care about you and the reason he is not like the rest of the guys you have been with is he loves you and he knows there is something there or he would have left. i think you should look at the good and the bad in this guy and tell yourself he is not &quot;the other guys&quot; he is someone that sees the good in you and wants to be with you  

Answer 3

You are afraid that this one will turn out like all the rest, so you are tempted to sabotage it before you get hurt really bad. Because you have a high opinion of him, more is at stake (i.e. it will hurt worse than usual if he breaks your heart). It is a natural protective response on your part, but one that you have to learn to turn off if you hope to ever find lasting happiness. You can either cause it to fail, and &quot;prove&quot; to yourself that what you know is true (relationships always end badly), or you can start focusing on how you are going to be happy and share that with someone you love. Hope that helps.

Answer 4

I think its because since you&#039;ve had so many bad experiences your kind of sub consciously waiting for him to leave, and in time things will get better, he obviously cares about you and that&#039;s a good thing, just see how things go!

Answer 5

I am having a similar problem. What i came to realise is that its not &quot;what the person IS&quot; that makes you fall for them its &quot;Who&quot; they are, its sharing a connection...and the connection is not based on the fact that they have all these great qualities, but that you can spend every minute with them and connect with conversation and interests.

Answer 6

Get a hold.  your screwed up.  Do not know why that is, sure there are reasons, but you do not need to mess with this guy.  he is doing his job, but you are not.  It is your choice  feeling like this is not normal.

Answer 7

your probably just used to previous expierience&#039;s and waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. i am kinda in a very similar situation i&#039;ve been with him just about 4 months after a long 8 year relationship. he is the perfect guy for me but because we moved so fast i&#039;m still a little wishy washy about everything and i think its just because i&#039;m scared somethings gonna go wrong and i don&#039;t wanna go through that again. Hang in there girl Everything happens for a reason don&#039;t jinx things just go with the flow sometimes that&#039;s the best option

Answer 8

if you break it off, you cant just get him back when you feel like it. believe me i know. when you r feeling sad just think about that feeling you get when you talk to him. think about what you would miss out on if you break it off.

Answer 9

You are putting too much energy into Why this? Why that? I&#039;m confused, but I Iove him... and on... and on... and on.  In other words you are &quot;overly&quot; concerned about failing because of past relationships. Don&#039;t give up or break it off.  You said he was God sent. You can&#039;t have better references than that. He sounds like a great guy so be glad in it. Sit back and enjoy the ride......Take Care.

Answer 10

Hmmm- i am in a similar situation.Broke up with a very nasty bloke after the last long torrid relationship and moved out in an unpleasant and expensive flurry. Then met this copper recently who seems very lovely but i am really finding it hard to trust him because i am so used to men who lie/pretend/sleep around.I am actively looking sub consciously for mistakes he may make even though i tell myself not to!Every time he adds girls on his friends list on f.book i feel angry and frankly i find myself thinking why bother.It would be easier to dump him off and stay single forevermore!. I am now trying to put myself in the frame of mind that it is better to wait and see though than give up so early. What can he do that other men haven&#039;t?You know you can cope with it if he is horrible, you have done it before!

i am going to keep my independence and get to know my new bloke more-don&#039;t go and rush to move in with him or whatever too quick.

Time to do your own stuff is good-don&#039;t stifle each other.

I reckon you will soon know if he is a stud or dud.heehee.Try not to worry, thats what im doing......

Answer 11

you seem .. scared? you said you&#039;ve been let down alot, and it seems like your trying to protect your self from letting it happen again. you love him right? hes a nice guy.. then stay with him sweetie, don&#039;t fall to hard though. trust him a little more though.

Answer 12

dont feel sorry for yourself...or him

dump his ***

Answer 13

I think you sound scared and are afraid to let yourself go farther into your relationship. If as you say you are usually done by now then this is all new to you and understandably very scary. If the guy is really that great don&#039;t let go. Have an honest talk with him. Tell him you are scared but you really love him and don&#039;t want to end things just because you&#039;re freaking out. If he is understanding about that just see where the conversation goes from there. Most important just be honest about how you feel.