3 year old doesn't want to go to preschool anymore. opinions?

Question

My 3 year old daughter has been going to preschool for 4 wks. She goes 2 mornings per week. My son is 4 & he goes too (another class) We hadn't even planned on putting her in till next year but she really wanted to go. She was excited at first but after the first couple of days she started saying she doesn't want to go. That she misses me & she doesn't like it. I know she is fine & she would get used to it if I left her in but there really isn't a "need" she is ahead as far as letters, phonics, adding etc. and she goes to play groups & sunday school. She has next year to go to preschool before going to kindergarten the year after.

Answer 1

Her reticence may be an indication that there is something happening at the school that she desires to avoid. In our experience, our son at 3 loved his school, however mid-year a new boy was added to the mix. The new boy pushed, hit, and yelled at other children.

Our son began to not want to go to school. His response to our questions was that he didn't like it. Rather than force him we stayed and observed through a few days. Our observations allowed us to see the new boy being a bully to many of the kids in the room. We worked with our son to process his feelings about the bully and also spoke with the pre-school teacher about the troublesome child.

It didn't fully solve the problem, but it did make it manageable.

If that hadn't worked for us we would have removed our child from the situation. We felt that it was better to let him know that he needn't stand for the abuse and that we would not allow such abuse to be put upon him.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

it really depends on what you think is best for her. You know your child best and therefore you know what is in her best interests. Maybe you could cut down the amount of time she spends there and gradually increase the time she spends there over a few months. If you pull her out now it is not setting her up to be a quitter, she's only young and i highly doubt it would affect her in later life. I do agree that an extra year would bring increased maturity on her part, and therefore she would have higher confidence to let go of her Mummy when the time comes. Maybe the problem is shes one of the younger ones at this preschool and she feels threatened by the bigger kids, or maybe the transition is harder for her to cope with at this younger age.

Maybe you could go to one session and sit in on it and see how shes coping with it all.

I think you need to reassess the situation and follow what you believe is best for your child, as i said before you know your childs personality best.

Answer 3

She doesn't need to be in school.  She needs time at home with mom.  She'll do better later if she can have the luxury of more time at home before going to swim in the shark pool.

And no it won't set a precedent of quitting.     Sheesh!

Answer 4

If she is ahead in her letters and such, it may be that it is boring for her. you can let her stay home and put her on the computer somewhere like starfall she can get a head start on the preschool and even kindergarten as well and still be there with you.

Answer 5

your 3 year old doesn't want to go to school? well, i say, for a while, just go with it. tell your daughter that she doesn't have to go to school if she doesn't want to. but tell her, or make it clear to her, that if she doesn't want to go to school, then she shouldn't leave the house. as in........................not seeing friends and other stuff. disconnect the cable for a while so that she can't watch tv. keep her in a room with you and lock the door, so the room only has the two of you. then, just do some boring work, like the bills. she'll get so bored that she'll want to leave, but aha, you have her, she can't. go out with your friends often and leave her with your husband and remind her that your having fun with your friends. go out to clubs and parties! during the day, you should go to work. she'll hate that she has nothing to do all day long, that she'll miss school. don't worry, its guarenteed she'll fall for the trick. if it doesn't work within a week, call a for special help. but all you really have to do is play the trick right. she'll be in school, no time.

Answer 6

let her stay home

Answer 7

It wont hurt her to keep her in but like you said, there is no need. If it were me I would take her out & just wait another year.  Another year of maturity does wonders. A year ago my son wouldn't even go to sunday school & everyone told me he needed to be in preschool or he wouldn't want to go this year (he's in part time preschool this year) He loves it and didn't so much as shed one tear since school started. He is just older and more mature.

Edit: (in response to your 3rd answer) Letting her quit will NOT set her up to think she can quit everything. Thats absurd.

Answer 8

Three years old is still very young. This time should be spent at home with mommy. There is still time for preschool. Sounds like she is not mature enough and I wouldnt push it.  The time spent at home with mommy will be well worth it.

Answer 9

Keep in mind that if you allow her to quit now, you are setting a precident for the future.  I know your daughter is young, but it would be best to teach her that when she commits herself to something she needs to follow through and finish what she started.  It may sound harsh, but this is real life, and believe me, what you do now has a great impact on how she will be as an adult.  Don't let her believe that quitting just because you don't like something is acceptable.

Answer 10

aww mine went through the same thing. Keep her in it. After a month or so, she will start to change her mind. She'll love it and she'll realize that life does go on without mommy.

It will do wonders for her. You'll see that in another 2 months.