3 year old tantrums... any suggestions?

Question

i have a 3 year old very cheeky, outgoing, funny & lovable daughter.

But she seems to chuck tantrums at most things lately!

She sometimes refuses to have baths/showers. She hates having dinner, getting dressed, brushing her teeth & putting her shoes on.

We've tried making things fun (toys in the bath) (playing competitions on who eats the carrot first!), letting her dress herself etc etc.

she doesnt like being told what to do & wants it her way or none at all.... is there anyone with any suggestions??

it does put alot of strain on the rest of us & i sometimes cant handle the kicking, screaming & yelling. my patience is wearing thin....

Answer 1

sit her down in the corner for 2 mins then after that say r u done yet if she says no leave her until she says srry and like if she wont eat somthing say its her favrite celebritys food then she will eat it i do that when i babysit

Answer 2

Ahhh... you had a rough day too?

You could turn the door lock on her door around. When she has a tantrum put her in her room, close the door and lock it. Come back in 5 minutes and tell her that you can only understand her and you will only work with her when she is acting nicely. Then change the subject and give her  a compliment when she is behaving nicely.

Answer 3

Never ever ever give in.  Then she knows the tantrums will work!  If you never give in then eventually she will give up!

Answer 4

well maybe you should put ur foot down and take toys away. if she has brothers and sisters she probaly wants attention.

Answer 5

Read the book...

"Have a new kid by Friday...

By Dr Kevin Leman

Its cruel at first but it works wonders!

Dont give up

best 17.99 youll ever have spent

Answer 6

Not talking from experience however both my brothers have kids  between the ages of 2 - 5  years of age. And the naughty chair seems to work for them quite well obviously it doesnt happen over night but as the days/weeks went buy the child starts to realise that they cant get away with it. It also gets the child to chill out for a little while. I think they use a star system per week and if they get a certain number of stars they get rewarded. So the first stage is the naughty chair and if they persist they get an x marked on the board and a certain number of crosses means a punishment. You get the drift as i said i am just the uncle who swoops in from time to time

Answer 7

Here's a couple of suggestions

1) Offer her choices... e.g. ask her if she would rather have a bath before or after tea, would she rather carrots or broccoli, let her help you cook tea and choose what you have (but always offer her the choices to choose from or you'll have another argument on your hands when she chooses mcdonald's every night). Let her choose which bath salts to put in the bath and things like that--- she sounds like she wants to start asserting her independance and these things will help her feel more in control of her own life while really keeping the power in your hands. You could have a daily routine with all the things that need to be done... include "jobs" such as bath time, brushing teeth etc. and let your daughter choose what order they should go in. You can try including fun time as well but be careful that your daughter does not put all the fun time first or there'll be nothing to bribe her with. You could have a rule that there must be something between every fun activity. (but don't call them jobs to your daughter... they will just sound bad)

2) as above with the roster but you make the rules. Again alternate something you want her to do with something she wants to do and don't let her move on to the next thing until she has done what is first. For example, if your roster says

brush teeth, play outside, have dinner, painting...etc

She has to follow that order and can't move on until she has brushed her teeth.

What you do will depend on your daughter and whether you think she will respond better to strict no-nonsense rules or feeling that she has the power... it sounds as though letting her think she has the power is probably the way to go!

Answer 8

My son just turned 3. There's a couple things I've noticed about his behavior. It is directly related to TV watching and one-on-one play with mom.

If I spend an hour or two playing with him without any distractions right away in the morning, he's practically an angel the rest of the day. Cooperative, polite, happy.

We do have days where I absolutely must get something done. Dishes, for example. Maybe I spend an hour cleaning the house while he watches TV. That makes him into a monster for the rest of the day. It doesn't matter what you ask him to do, it's "No." Defiant. Whiny. Crabby.

I'm not here telling you that you don't spend enough time with her and that's the problem. I'm only saying what I've seen in my son. It may or may not be that way with all kids.

I encourage you to try this for at least 3 or 4 days:  No TV watching whatsoever. Spend at least an hour playing with her first thing in the morning--and without distractions. Then, of course, off and on for a while. Then another good hour later in the day. And another hour before bed. You might be surprised at the difference.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Honey, I live this every day with my son. He is 19 months and has tantrums over everything and nothing at all, lol. Seriously.....walk away, busy yourself with other things, ignore her until she is finished, then act like nothing happened. The more you try to distract her and give her attention to stop the tantrum the more she will chuck a longer tanty. Just don't enter into an argument with a 3yo, they need guidance loving attention and basic rules (don't kick the cat, you must have brekkie before daycare etc). With the clothes, pick out two outfits and let her choose one option, don't let her physically pick the clothes from scratch. With eating, tell her that she either eats it or goes without (I have a major struggle with my daughter to eat anything some nights). If she doesn't want to get dressed and you need to be somewhere, take her in her pj's (pack her clothes to change at the destination). Let her wear, a tutu, rubber boots and a t-shirt, it may look strange, but most parents have been through this stage too. You may not like having to take the hard line with your daughter (and also don't say no too often, give choices, but choices you have vetoed first to save arguments) but it is better now to let her know that you are a parent, not her.

Answer 10

I think you should check and make sure she is not getting more molars if she is i would suggest that you give her frozen waffles if it isn't that then I would say you should get a baby gate and put her in her room but take out the stuff she would be glad to have locked up with her but dont just shut or lock her door because then her tantrums will get worse because she will then be actually fully locked out from even seeing the other parts of your house

Answer 11

A careful combination of choices and ignoring.  When she wakes up, give her a choice...do you want to wear this outfit OR this one?  If she decides to mix and match...let her.  It won't hurt and she feels important.  Ask her if she would rather have a bubble bath or a shower.  Let her pour the bubbles or pick which towel she is using.  At dinner, you can eat your carrots and then have a treat OR you can not eat the carrots, but you don't get a treat after dinner.  She is trying to be independant and you can let her believe that she is in control of certain things.  Now, if she throws a temper tantrum after you have given her a choice simply say "this is not how we behave", walk away and ignore her.  Just ignore her completely.  When she settles down say "I like this behavior better!  Which shirt are we wearing today?".  It will take some time and patience, but it works.