3 yo "withholds" pooping for days. Seeking ideas for getting her to go more often.?

Question

Nothing physically wrong. She takes Miralax and stools are soft. But holds for days. Help! Note that she eats a pretty good diet and we try to give her lots of liquids. It seems that she just doesn't want to p**p. We are seeking techniques that are more psychological than physical. For a while, putting stars on a calendar seemed to get her to go regularly (for maybe a month), but for some reason that stopped working. What else should/could we try?

Answer 1

Perhaps you should try backing off and not making such a big deal out of it? Does she watch you every time you use the loo and put a star on a chart  every time you do a poo?

At 3 she should really be pretty competent about it all - including wiping her own backside. Give the girl a chance!

Answer 2

I wish I'd known about that book "It Hurts When I p**p" last year, when my daughter was having major constipation issues.

No solution for this problem though - I've never known it not to be a struggle.  My l.o had to "learn the hard way" about the perils of witholding, just as I did in my turn.

Answer 3

So you went to the doctor right. Next-did she have a very uncomfortable BM? Is she having a  change in her life (new sib, new house, new school, new classmate or loss of a fave teachr or classmate)? She may have decided that holding is better because going hurts her tummy or bum. My son did this recently. We got a book (had to order it) called "It Hurts When I p**p" and it is written by a doctor-little kid in the story won't p**p and gets tummy aches and such and the doctor gives a kid friendly explination of why we must go, what actually happens with the food you eat, and tips and pointers on getting that p**p not to hurt. After about 4 days of reading, problem solved and back to our daily routine:)

Answer 4

untoasted wheat germ.  add a teaspoon to her yogurt for breakfast, a teaspoon to pudding during a snack, and a teaspoon over whatever...........try to do it at least 2 or 3 times a day.  it'll get things moving pretty regularly.

good luck

Answer 5

Talk to the dr. or dietician.. Good Luck.

Answer 6

Well, I have been known to offer chocolate for pooping with my 3.5 year old.  Seems to work as long as you don't wait until day three.

Answer 7

Maybe you should ask a doctor for advice on this. I knew someone who tormented their kid by leaving them on the toilet until they went. Sometimes that would be hours! The kid would just never go and was afraid of the potty. I would get a doctor's help.

Answer 8

My 3 yr actually has a physical condition that makes it difficult for her p**p but we have found that if we put the potty right next to the bath tub when she takes a bath that she will relax in the tub and then she will get out and go on the potty.

She has tub toys and we keep the water warm but she will play for 10-20 minutes and usually fill the potty during that time.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

more privacy?

Answer 10

Had a similar problem with my daughter. She had been constipated and it hurt when she went to the toilet so she was scared it would hurt again.

We tried to turn the bathroom into somewhere a little more fun. We read stories in there and hung up her paintings etc and when there was a success we made a big deal out of it and provided instant rewards; balloons, chocolate, stickers. When she started going more regularly we made the rewards a little larger but she had to go for 3 days in a row. We would negotiate the reward at the start of the 3 days so she knew what she was trying for. A couple of them were a new book, lunch and a play at Hungry Jacks and a new doll. For a 3 year old the stars may have taken too long, our success came when the rewards were immediately after she came out of that bathroom.

We also got everyone else in the house to come out of the bathroom talking about how much better they felt afterwards.

I never went in there with her to try and get her to be more independent. If she wanted me there I would sit on a stool outside.

It took about 4 months of all the positive reinforcement and pure bribery before she was consistent but now she runs off to the loo at least once a day. There are still times when she has problems but will come out and announce its not coming out and go back to playing until she is ready.

Answer 11

coloxyl drops helped my little girl because she was only going every 2 weeks. :)

Answer 12

Have you tried talking to her about the truth?  Like, "Honey, you will get sick if you don't poo-poo at least 2 times a week"?

I'm not being a jerk here, but for some reason she is avoiding this situation.  Be honest with her about her health.  She's three years old, but should understand what getting sick means.

And if you think it's psychological, talk to her about it.  Eg. why don't you want to potty?  Does it hurt when you potty?  Etc.

If that doesn't work, might want to talk to her pediatrician about it.