3 yo son with OCD behaviours...any advice?

Question

Hi there, I am a stay at home mom with two kids, a 5 yo DD and a 3 yo DS who exhibits what I would call OCD tendencies. He has always been a "sorter", sorting toys by color, shape, size, etc, and lining them all up facing the same direction. We always have lines of toys running up and down the house and you better not disturb them!! The other day we were in a public restroom and he had to make sure all the faucet handles were facing the same way each time we used that restroom during the course of that day. I used to worry about autism, but he is very verbal and social. Now I wonder if he has some OCD tendencies and how I might help him with that. Does anyone have any advice? We are a homeschooling family and I think that this will present some special challenges for him when it comes time for school. Please help if you have experience with this! Thanks!

Answer 1

Very good that you are being aware now. I wasn't with our oldest who is now 16.

He started in public school and when other kids would put the fake bricks away, he would take them all out and put them back in the "right" way. They had to match in color and size.

I didn't think too much, thought it was a stage of life until he started having trouble in school.

Teachers dont understand when a child doesn't "fit" in the class and the first thing they push is ADD or ADHD.

If you are homeschooling your kids, you are doing him a great service. Use hands on curriculum and don't make him do too much text but hands on work is what I have found works best. They understand more can explain it to others and work best in that setting.

If you need anymore info, I would be happy to help with what I have experienced.

GL!

Answer 2

I have OCD and my 3 year old looks like she may have some OCD tendancies.  Here are my thoughts.  First and foremost, do NOT point these things out to him.  It will increase the behavior.  Second, as long as it is not harming him or anyone else there is no need to stop it.  Third, OCD is usually a calming way to deal with stress or anxiety so I highly suggest counseling with a doc used to dealing with children with OCD to see what is causing him to be so anxious, then, once he is less anxious, the behavior will either lessen or go away but never entirely.  I think he will always use that as a way to deal with stress.  SO, if you see him doing it more than usual, try to talk to him, find out what he is worried about to help him ease the pain.  ANd, do NOT interfere with his "sorting", my ocd relaxes me until someone tries to interferre or stop it, then I get more anxiety.  Its not a big deal, honest.  Its easy to work with once you understand it.  As he gets older, you will need to work with him to learn to recognize when he is stressed and what he can do to relax.  I also have worked out a special arrangement with the preschool my daughter is in to let her finish putting all toys away right before going on to the next task or it could upset her whole day. (She has to put things away where they belong - even at others houses, shopping aisles, church, etc) and sometimes when we shop I have to slow down and let her put away stuff in the right place.  You learn to work with it instead of stopping it and things will be much smoother!

Answer 3

Habits like these can be a symptom of something that needs attention in your child.  Don't pressure your child about this, nor get upset or angry about it.  You might consider having you child in for some evaluation with a child/ family counselor or your school district psychologist.  Do some reading from experts.  Ask your pediatrician for some sources.  It is probably something that is just fun for your child, but until you know for sure, try to find out info. from professionals.  Don't trust the advice of people on Yahoo!

Answer 4

I have a son who once displayed a lot of the same tendencies you describe of your son.  He's now 14 and my wife and I wish he still displayed at least some of those same tendencies!  My point is, at age 3, it's a little hard to tell if there's a problem at this point.  All of my children, in the early stages, (I have 5) have exhibited some of those tendencies to varying degrees, and all have grown out of it and shown more "normal" tendencies (i.e.- messy rooms, trash that misses the trash can, half- washed dishes, etc.)  

My advice is to continue to watch the behavior, but not be overly concerned at this early stage.  Also, watch how you teach him neatness and how you apply structure to his life.  Sometimes OCD is derived from a learned set of behaviors.    Good luck and God bless.