3 yr old not cooperating at daycare ...?

Question

my friend is constantly being called and saying to either pick up the child cause not listening and carrying on.....What should the mom do to her daughter?

Answer 1

Have the teacher note what is setting the child off i.e. transitions

Reward for good behavior i.e sticker chart for days the  Mom is not called

Have the Mom observe the child in school

Have the Mom talk to the child and ask why

she is not listening

Maybe the child needs a more structured environment

Ask the teacher the discipline policy of the class/school and how the parent can work w/ the school to help reinforce  the rules

Good communication w/ the teacher is key

Day care is not for every child

Answer 2

love her

find out what's bugging the kid

3 years old is a terrific time of discovery, and some of what they discover is not easy for them or for us to deal with

never try to bargain with a kid - it doesn't work

try to reinforce your commitment to her and that you will be there even if she is upset

try to remember their point of view - get onto her level rather than talking from way up there [try looking up at an adult from her height some time - it is intimidating

Answer 3

Oh please, what do people expect of a three year old?! This is so upsetting to me... goes along the lines of then labling these children with disorders like ADD. All they have is Childhood Syndrome. They are children, they are supposed to be hyper and playful and question everything. What chance does a kid have to be a kid when they are separated from their family, stuck behind four walls with complete strangers and being "watched" over by people whom you know nothing about nor do you know their intentions. Your friend should raise her baby at home and by her side and not use daycare. I have given up earning a living for now so I can be there for my children in their formidable years. I have the rest of my life to work and pay off debt. They only get these few measly years to be children.

Answer 4

My son has some of the same issues. You need to look at the daycare setting. Is it too active (lots of change, lots of stuff on the walls, too many kids in class, lots of noise) This environment overstimulated my son and we swtiched him to a montessori school with less movement, more independent work and he is doing great. He still has some issues sitting but it is from a sensory disorder. Her daugther may have some of the same issues. Try looking into neuro sensory disorders. Movement is essential to my son so he needs things to stimulate him and keep him busy.

Books like The Sensory Senstitive Child or Explosive Child may help.  

Answer 5

The Mom needs to stay home and get some parenting skills so she can teach her daughter how to behave!  This ISN'T the child's fault, it is the Mother's fault that she hasn't taught her daughter how to behave properly!

Answer 6

Move schools.  It sounds like the school does not want her daughter talking.  If that's the case, it's time to find a better school.

Any school that doesn't want a child to express themselves is not a good environment.  Period.  End of discussion.  No way anyone can convince me otherwise.

Answer 7

The mother needs to teach the child to listen and follow directions.  She should also understand that young children want to explore and have some fun.  Since he is only three, he will eventually learn to behave.  

Answer 8

The daughter is three...I would not suggest physical discipline...nothing good will ever come out of spanking.  The mother should work with her daily and teach her and show her why we need to listen. You have to be able to think on a three year old level if you want to get through to them.  They don't understand so that is why you need to explain and show it in a way that they will.  Maybe the daughter is getting rewarded at home for this behaviour...like getting the attention she wants...or given a treat so she will stop.  So your friend needs to reevaluate what kind of parenting and structure is taking place in the home and see what needs to be fine-tuned.  Also again...she is three.  Three year olds are a handful...they will test their boundaries until they are blue in the face.  It is normal and the phase will pass.  I would seriously consider looking into another day care...if this facility cannot handle what a normal three year olds do...then they are not properly doing their job and know how to handle a situation the right way.

Answer 9

Request a meeting with the teacher, director. Find out what the actual behavioral issues are.  Ask what the triggers are that bring on these behaviors?  Ask what plans the daycare has implemented to help modify the behavior.  Mom and the daycare to to work together as a team.  

Answer 10

Try another daycare facility.  Maybe the problem is the people at the daycare.  If she continues to have problems she might want to take her kid to a counselor.  Or maybe she is a really lousy parent and doesn't make her child mind at home, so the kid runs wild at daycare - there isn't much to do about that except get her books on being a better parent.  

Answer 11

Your friend is abandoning her child to a bunch of strangers everyday...

...and you're worried about the child's behavior?

Frankly, this would be any child's behavior under these circumstances. I think your friend needs to reassess her priorities. She needs to find work at home, a family member to babysit, or at least a close personal friend of the family with children.

But you can't expect a child to adapt to these circumstances. Children NEED their parents!

Tell your friend it is selfish of her to do this, and that she is damaging her child by leaving her at a daycare.

Stay home and raise the kid.  

Answer 12

there can be many reasons this is happening.

1) the child has not been given the skills to deal with what she's feeling.  if this is her first experience with a group setting, it can be very overwhelming.

2) she's been allowed to behave this way at home with few or no consequences.  this is a lack of parenting and the mother needs to gain her skills in order to help her daughter.

3) mom has left all parenting on this issue up to the school.  if this is the case, she needs to get involved.

as far as the school calling mom to pick her up?  as a former director my teachers and i would try to work with the child in the classroom.  but it comes to a point when that child is hindering the educational value for the rest of the class and must be removed.  it isn't fair to all that the teacher and director have to attend to one child, leaving the rest to fend for themselves.  when i had to consistently call a parent to pick up (3 times in one week) i'd schedule a sit down with the parent.  we discuss the behavior and make a plan to try to help the child.  but if i saw that the parent didn't care, wasn't involved, didn't do their part or the behavior continued, i'd disenroll the child.  i didn't make my teachers or the other kids suffer if there wasn't complete co-operation by the parents and the child.

Answer 13

I worked with 3 year olds for 2 1/2 years at a daycare. Is the child in day care for 11 or 12 hours? Because that is a very long day for a child. And I noticed that the ones who were in daycare all day long, usually were the ones with the behavior problems. Or maybe the kid just needs to be in another activity like gymnastics or ballet, to exert more of her energy.

Answer 14

Find another daycare center. It is clear they don't know how to deal with children.

To misbehave at this age is completely normal and has to be expected. The Teacher clearly can't handle her classroom and I am wondering if the Director knows about this.

Before switching schools talk to the Director and find out what is going on.