30 weeks pregnant and depressed. Feeling like I don't want my baby.?

Question

This is my fourth child. We have no family and moved to a new town 2 years ago. So there is no support here. I don't want to take medication. Husband and I have been married 12 years and have 3 other children. I don't know how to get out of this. I don't want to take medication and have no insurance for counselling. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Post partum depression is in the news alot, but pre-partum is far from uncommon.  The hormones that are going through your body during pregnancy can cause many emotional problems.  Also, not every pregnancy is the same.  My mother had 4 biological children as well, and every pregnancy was very VERY different for her.  Do not be surprised if you feel this way, even if you didn't with your other pregnancies.  

Do you have an OBGYN and hospital in your new area?  If so, call them.  Your OBGYN will be more personal, but may not know as many free resources.  However, almost all hospitals have free or very low cost group therapies for women to deal with post or pre-partum depression.  Call the hospital and ask what they can provide.  Good luck@

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you need to work on building a support system.  If you have been in your new town for two years, you should have developed friendships within your community of people who could give you the emotional support you need right now--neighbors, parents or teachers at your other children's schools, church group, etc.  Get involved somewhere, anywhere.  Not only will involvement in something other than your normal day-to-day grind keep you busy (i.e. help get your mind off your current woes), but when you are involved somewhere, you are making new friends and acquaintances which you need to have to build you up at times when you are having trouble pulling yourself up from a slump.

If you attend a church, see about getting counseling from the pastor or someone else there.  Even if they aren't able to help you themselves, they may be able to point you towards some community resources that will benefit you.  

Answer 3

I don't know where you live but in all community's there is free counseling. Call your local hospital and ask them if they know of any free or low-cost  counseling. It is out there. Just need to do a little calling around.  

Answer 4

Put it up for adoption. Why is your user name "Proud mama of 4" if you aren't?

Answer 5

depression is understandable during pregnancy, but why are you torturing your baby by getting all depressed.when a baby is in the womb it knows when you feel sad and it gets sad too that is why its said to stay as happy as you can in pregnancy.i dono much bout the counselling and all that  but i was just sad to read what you said that you feel like you dont want the baby.please do not say that.sweety try going in to a different atmostphere to change your mood and remove it from your mind that you dont want your baby,do you know what your baby would feel like later in life when he or she finds out you dint want him????

Answer 6

it's normal for you to feel depressed during pregnancy. the feeling should pass though. good luck :D

Answer 7

You're at a rough time in your pregnancy, you're getting big, uncomfortable, and only looking forward to days of no sleep!   I can understand why you might be depressed.  As a counselor myself I would highly recommend seeking out someone to talk too about this.  Check out this website, you can call and talk to a counselor for free:

http://www.optionline.org/

and if you go here you can try to find some free pregnancy counseling in your area.  This is mainly aimed at those who might be considering abortion but want other options, but they are free counselors who can talk about a number of things.

The only other advice I can give you is to think of how much you love your 3 existing children.  They are always work, many times a pain in the butt.... but in the end you love them more than you can ever imagine and can't even think of being without them.  I have a feeling once you see this baby you will feel the same way.  But, don't underestimate the power of help in a situation such as this!

I'll be thinking of you!

Answer 8

Hang on in there!! What you are experimenting is pretty normal. Your hormones can make you feel sad and overwhelmed during your pregnancy. But since you already had 3 children you can definitively make your brains to win the battle against your hormones. You need to keep in mind that these hormonal changes are temporary. You won't feel like this forever. It will pass. Don't take any medication unless your doctor says you need them. Instead, try to do activities that please you. Go shopping, visit your girlfriends, decorate the room for your new baby... whatever makes you happy and keep your mind busy and away from sad thoughts.

It is hard when you have no family close by to give you support.However, you do have your husband! Let him know how important is his support. Let him pumper you at no end!  I understand you. I've been there too. I got pregnant and both of our families are abroad so we were pretty much by ourselves. My husband is a wonderful partner. He was such a sweet heart during pregnancy. I also got kind of depressed during middle pregnancy and the first 2 weeks after delivery were horrible. My husband was so caring and gentle and supportive during the whole process. My baby boy is now 2 months old and I cannot understand why I was so overwhelmed and sad. I feel I can handle motherhood with no problem. I am sure you too. Don't give up!!!