'Traditional' men and women, how would you deal with a 'tomboy' daughter?

Question

For those that have assumed that I am talking about my own daughter, I am neither traditional nor a mother.

Answer 1

??  I don't understand the question..I don't know, get her invloved in things she likes?  What do you mean "deal with"?  Please explain.

Answer 2

Everyone is different , not make too much of a fuss, it is still possible to have tomboy child and dress her up reasonably nice on important occasions, though nothing on earth will stop her climbing a tree in that fancy dress barefoot !...........we know , one of my sisters was called Tarzan as a child, her favourite attire was undies and bare feet !     She is totally gorgeous now and super intelligent .

Answer 3

Encurage the tomboy habbits.  Seriously I would.  While I can be a tomboy my sister is far more of one.  I totally admire my sister.  In fact I'd allow my sister to go out to a tree and climb with my chidren, cause I know they would all have fun.  I would just hope that my child and I am a mother of three girls would know when not to be a tomboy.  Knowing when to be a tomboy and when not to be is the thing I would work on having my children know.

Answer 4

I'd treat her like a son.

I treat people based on what they act like.

Answer 5

Let her be. Its her own life. She will grow out of it soon,its just a phase! So what if she likes to dress in boy clothes-get over it. She will adapt when she needs to! Its not an illness you know,so don't try to find a cure,my love!

Answer 6

Sorry, I am not a "traditional" father, as you can see from my avatar pic, and I have no daughter. So your question is real for me: how would I deal if...?

I would show her my love, discuss with her all problems or irritations which may be connected with her gender identification, but would fully support her. If she wants to dress and act like a boy, let her be what she wants to be !

Tomboys are well accepted in our society, and dating guys(as far as she is not into girls!) she might find a girlish boy who is matching her tomboyish outfit.

I will ask the same question about girlish sons, just to see if the answers will be similar or very different.

Answer 7

love her for who she is,

if she can't be herself around her parents who can she be herself around?

geez.

Answer 8

Here's an idea why don't you learn to love her for what she and and support her, forcing anything on her will only push you apart and make her want to rebel hundred times more.

Answer 9

I don't know if I'm qualified to answer this question as I certainly don't consider myself 'traditional' - At least I hope I'm not! :-)

I can't really think of any activities/ toys that if a little girl played with, would make her a 'tomboy'- But then again I am probably much more open-minded than most people. My mother bought me tonka trucks, lego, capsella (awesome!), books, those toys that you wire things up and make electricity, model kits, water guns, sport equipment....... I had everything my brother's had. She was concerned with all of us having toys that stimulated our minds, tested our intelligence, and kept us active.

Why anyone would want to give their girls nothing but dolls and pretty stuff is hard for me to stomach - Training little girls to be mother's from a young age, to be 'precious' little creatures - that their main purpose is to be 'adored', is ridiculous!

All children's brains need stimulation. All children need to be active and have a sense of adventure. All children want fun stuff!

Good luck to you traditionalists on here - You have it all so wrong!

Good question Sam :-)

Answer 10

i'll introduce her to a good-looking g*y who can qualify as her bestfriend, and hope they develop each other into something else they should be..

Answer 11

well my moms friends daughter was a tomboy and let them go through with it and they will eventually get out of the faze but dont say anything about it and mabey take her out shopping and direct her to cute her age appropriate girly clothes and mabey she will choose some cute clothes but dont say anything about it because she might keep doing it on purpose and also it matters her age so you should of said her age

Answer 12

Girls need the exercise, most are flabby from just sitting around.

My sister was a tomboy and she is healthy, happy, married to a great guy with two children of her own.

She encourages both of them, a boy and a girl to play baseball and she and her husband like climbing mountains and racing bicycles!

Answer 13

as long as she isn't a L*****n there shouldn't be a problem. i'd say mom or dad who ever goes shopping with her i'm guessing you buy her clothes?? if you do then say you know something honey i think this (w/e girls where these days)  looks really cute you should try it on.  that is the nice way of doing it.

Answer 14

That's a slightly worrying question: Are you suggesting that tomboyish behaviour should be 'treated' to effect a 'cure'?

Answer 15

Deal with them?

I would NEVER force my kids to follow gender stereotypes blindly like sheep.

I am what many people would consider a 'tomboy' and my parents never tried to change me. They're glad I am myself and not a dumb, weak, submissive, stereotypical woman.

Be glad she doesn't follow the crowd.

Answer 16

Everybody is unique in their own way, If your daughter wants to be a 'tomboy' then really it's her choice and she should have your blessing.

Answer 17

Wait awhile, she may well change as she grows, if not just love her for who she is.  We are all different and do you really want a daughter who can be molded by others (even her parent)?

Children need to express themselves freely to discover the person they feel comfortable to be. If you try to change her she will resent it - and you, which would not be good for either of you.

Answer 18

Not a big deal. Kids need to be who they are... Granted, we are FAR from "Traditional" parents.

Answer 19

I'd encourage her to pursue her interests.

Answer 20

Let her live her life. Dis own her if she starts wearing boilersuits and comfortable shoes.

Answer 21

Make her wear the most revolting frilly frocks you can find.

That should teach her a lesson!

Oh...and no drinking beer out of the can.

Answer 22

One thing I'm seeing is that people seem to think that girls are either "girly-girls" or tomboys. They don't seem to notice that a lot of girls fall somewhere in between. There are girls who like sports but also like to dress up. There are those who don't mind getting dirty but will also play with dolls. I have two daughters who are like that. One likes to play violent video games but is very meticulous about her hair and her appearance. The other is a computer geek but likes to wear dresses. I think a balance is fine because it bring out more individuality and fewer stereotypes regarding gender.

Answer 23

Let her do what she wants, how she wants it.  Intervention by you will have the opposite effect. Children of all ages go through phases and have different attitudes to life.  Why should we all be 'traditional'?

Answer 24

Drowned her in the river.

I kid..

Not particularly traditional, but I get the feeling I am a bit more than some folks here.

Children need love and security, regardless of who they are or what they like.

Answer 25

You must warn her that her behavior is unladylike and that if she expects to find a good husband she must be more obedient and submissive.

HAHAHA!

Answer 26

Well if they're good parents they ll accept her as she is,but if there bad parents they'll probably brainwash her to believe that all women must be housewife's,and that there only worth is to cook and clean,and give birth.

dsds, don't breed you'd make an awful father.

Im a tomboy myself and i see nothing wrong with them.

I think parents that force gender roles on children  are creepy,any loving parent will accept and love their kids as they are.

Answer 27

Tell them get over it.... As long as the child is healthy and happy who cares

Answer 28

Leave her alone, if she is comfortable as she is, why force her to be something she isnt.

Answer 29

I'd sit her down and make her watch the Beverly Hillbillies... every single episode of it!

...just kidding.  I liked that show.   :)

Answer 30

Why would you want to change your childs nature? Let her be. Unless she is doing something that may harm her health she is fine. Go and concentrate on your own life and leave her grow up a healthy happy human being.  I am sure when she is an adult she will not be swinging from trees or acting like a 'tomboy' and even if she is I am sure she will be happy doing so.

Answer 31

I knew a boy who loved dresses.  His parents didn't make an issue out of it and he grew out of it.  Just don't make an issue out of it.