3yr old daughter has BAD tantrums and father doesn't help discipline. (I am pregnant with #2) needing advice!!

Question

My husband gives in ALL the time to our daughters every i want and that only makes it worse on me i feel that i am alone in this (I am 7 months pregnant with #2 and wondering if this was a mistake) When we discuss the issue he says he doesn't see anything wrong with the way he fathers her and laughs. We've had strangers comment on her awful behavior. Im afraid of her hurting me or the baby. I have tripped while escorting her to her room(since being pregnant.) She bites, kicks, and slaps.

Answer 1

yes it was a mistake.your relationship is headed for disaster. he needs to know u guys need to be on the same level. or tell him you will leave.

Answer 2

I think u should explain to him in depth, how her tantrums r, and let him know that tha 2 of u NEED 2 get on tha same page, especially if comments r coming from strangers! that means it's gotten really bad, and ur daughter will b noticing tha difference in tha way that u n daddy parent and use that 2 her advantage. Not 2 mention, u don't need all of that stress, and u'll be delivering soon! Tell him ur fears, and ask him 2 please come 2 an agreement on how to STEADILY treat ur daughter. It's vital 2 how both of ur kids will grow up.

Answer 3

This sounds bad but you half to keep your distance from her you don't want her to hurt your baby. I just went thru a similar thing when I was pregnant with my daughter.I have a 3 year old son that is bad trying the same stuff and my boyfriend had to go away when I was 7months along and I had to try to discipline him and keep at a distance so he wouldn't hurt my baby and now I half to keep him away from the baby I know It's hard but it will get easier just don't give up. Try getting her to help you do stuff and including her more that might help with the bad attitude.Your not alone :)

Answer 4

when she bites you need to pop her and let her know that it is wrong. you people amaze me at not wanting to spank or pop your kids and wonder why she is throwing a temper tantrum. what the h**l do you expect if all i got was a time out for acting up when i was younger i would never have listen to my mother timeouts don't work. kids are so smart. you are already waiting to long to discipline her, start today. i am not saying abuse her but she needs some guidance i wish my child would fall out and slap me!!!!

Answer 5

As long as the father gives in her tantrums are never going to cease.  Her behavior is NOT her fault, it is her FATHER'S fault and until the BOTH of you are consistent with discipline it will continue and she will become a bratty teen.  I can see this marrige to be in major trouble because if you can't get together on how to discipline ONE child you're really going to have it rough with 2...especially since the older one hits, kicks and bites...think of what damage she can do to the baby...Ask your husband if he thinks it will be funny when your oldest child puts your youngest one in the hospital?  Or will it be funny when CPS comes to remove the children because there is no discipline and you have a pair of wild animals rather than children in your home?

Answer 6

The first thing you have to, have to, have to do is get your husband on-board with the discipline thing. I've seen it from a teacher's POV and a parental POV and if the parents are not on the same page it can make for disasterous results.

Second thing is whatever you decide to do...be consistent. If you say you're going to send her to room or a time-out or whatever when she does an undesirable behviour, follow through each and every time. Do not make empty threats (i.e. don't say 'If you don't stop that this moment we're not going on vacatin'...you know you wouldn't cancel a family vacation....make the punishment fit the crime- 'If you don't stop that, we'll leave the park' and yes, really, truly leave the park).

Check into the 'Love and Logic' series of books (they also offer workshops in most urban and suburban areas). I like most of what they say and suggest but there are other things that I choose not to do (you have to tailor the program to fit your needs/personality/etc.).

Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

improve your parenting skills.  you can't change dad.

you can change how you parent.  get busy learning.

stop complaining about hubby.  can't get anywhere that way.

Answer 8

Assuming your husband is not un-responsible person.

Send him out with your daughter only to a nice restaurant or catch a movie. He will learn quick there is a problem.  

He does not see the problem now; because you take care of everything.