3yr old still wets knickers. Nursery wont accept pull-ups?

Question

I have been potty-training my daughter for over a year. She showed all the signs that she was ready, and is very quick at understanding other things.

Its very frustrating because she needs to wee soon after drinking something, and i still have to put her in a nappy if we go shopping - she will wet herself in the time it takes to look for a bathroom. Sometimes she wets herself so that the wee is all down her trousers, but because I have restricted her fluids out of desparation (I only give her a small glass if she asks, instead of unlimited amounts) now she mostly just wets her knickers.

I have tried reward charts and have a prize all wrapped up and on show, waiting for the day when she has completed her 5 day chart

The problem is, her nursery school which she starts in September will not accept pull-up nappies and if she wets herself they will leave her like that until I come and clean her.

How can I get it through to her to just go to the toilet to avoid wetting her knickers?

Answer 1

definately see your GP. If you can prove that she is under medical supervision or treatment the Nursery should accept pull ups.

Answer 2

Your nursery is not out of order like some have suggested, a 3 yr old shouldn't be in nappies (I know its not your fault) as the teachers aren't there to change them, its the same in every pre-school nursery, every child must be toilet trained and they aren't allowed to change your child its the health and safety laws!!

Take your daughter straight back to your GP and demand more tests be done as this isn't normal behaviour

Answer 3

Change her nursery. My brother had a problem with soiling himself whilst he was in nursery (one attached to a school) and they would not let him come to school in nappies, however if he had an accident he would be changed (my mum would put a couple of changes of clothes in his bag) and the dirty clothes would be put into a plastic ba for my mum to wash at home.

It is not right that the nursery expects you to go to them if your daughter wets herself. They should change her themselves and if they don't want to handle wet clothes they should let her wear pull-ups.

Answer 4

I would take her out of that daycare...that's completely unacceptable for them to leave your daughter all day with wet pants.  That's ridiculous.  They need to either let her keep the pull-ups or change her when she wets...that really pisses me off!

Answer 5

Could this be an attention seeking antic. Some kids do anything for attention. If you let her play with older kids and ask one that youknow to just every 15 minuets say "I need the loo" or something and then run off to the loo it may help your girl. Just a thought

Answer 6

I've got a 3 year old son and he still have accidents  and he goes to school in September try taking her to the toilet every half hour to an hour weaver she wants it or not and when you r out . Be for u start ur shopping or what ever ur doing take her to the toilet and if she wets her self at any time just say to her that is dirty just keep asking her if she wants the toilet she will in the end get fed up of u asking her. And as for the nursery that is wrong i would change her nursery if my sons nursery done that to me

Answer 7

I can't believe the preschool will leave her in wet pants!!! My daughter is three and goes to pre school and i would much rather someone put her in clean pants than leave her in wet ones!!

Maybe her behaviour problems have something to do with her wetting?? Or maybe shes decided shes not ready yet? Who knows what goes on in their little heads!!!

Hopefully it will sort out before she goes preschool, other wise i would look for somewhere else to take her!!!

Answer 8

Im training to be a nursery nurse and THEY ARE ALLOWED to change her so what they said was bollocks to be honest. They can not leave her like that as it is first off against the UNs convention of childrens rights and the childrens act as it is unhygienic and degrading to your little girl. Personally i suggest a new nursery. And they are not allowed to go against your parenting methods so if you want her in pull ups you can and they have to go along with it.

Answer 9

Are you telling me that if your daughter pees at school, then she has to wait til you get there to clean her? Put her somewhere that the staff will look after her properly. Does this happen everywhere?......I am totally taken aback by this, my daughter is 2 in September and I am going to check this out tomorrow morning.

Answer 10

First of all, I think the nursery is totally out of order.  Have you asked your doctor about it.  She may be unable to hold it for some reason and it really isn't a good idea to restrict her fluid limit.  If I were you, I would see your G.P.  Even 3 year olds can have urinary tract infections.

Answer 11

Even with the best training, kids have accidents. She's three. I'd find a new nursery school.

Answer 12

Im having the same issue yet my son is almost 6. He will not use the bathroom because he says its boring!!! So he pees in the bed and on himself but hemll do the #2 in the toilet. He also said its becuz he hates having to pee so much, i explained to him how our bodies work and that everybody "goes" alot regardless. The wierd thing is my son didnt pee on himself around ur daughters age..this adapted at about almost 5. The other thing is we have 2 bathrooms, we each have our own and he still wont go. Im looking for help like u as to what to tell them, a friend of mine (whose son goes thru the same thing) said her sons doc gave him a medicine that helps to make him not pee while he sleeps...once i find out what it is..i will let u know...

Answer 13

don't worry about it.it may well be that when she starts nursery she starts going to the toilet.all kids are different and i'm sure if i can remember all mine didn't potty train at the same time.sometimes when they see other kids doing it it all clicks into place and ofcourse there will be accidents but so what.ask if you can stay in for the first couple of days or atleast till she goes to the toilet,take a change of clothes and no they wont leave her wet till home time thats just bad manners.

Answer 14

i think your doing great!! I'm sure she will get there! my youngest daughter is also 3, and I'm going to get her using the potty over the holidays, tho its going 2 be tough because she doesn't seem like she wants to.........such  a shame, my other daughter who is 5 now did it really quickly. but every child is different and will do it at there own pace, nothing to worry about at her age xx

i just saw your added details. my daughter has behavioural problems as well and it does make thing difficult and not everyone understands.

talk to you health visitor, and maybe she could talk to the nursery for you, the nursery shouldn't have any problems helping you out, maybe a talk from your health visitor might give them a kick up the butt! x

as for the nursery, i think its outrageous, i would tell then that shes wearing pull up, it your child you put what u want on your child!!! and as for not changing her, its d**n right disgusting!!!!

I'm getting angry just thinking about it!

i know it may seem a little late, but look for another nursery if you can and talk to them about this b4 she starts.

good luck xx

sorry can i just say that 33wks..no3 is an IDIOT!!!!!!!

NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thought you might know that by now!!!!!!??????

im glad your children are perfect and do everything at the right pace for society.......i mean god forbid if it took a child till they were 3 1/2 it they had dry days and nights!!!

Answer 15

http://www.ehow.com/how_4437333_master-p... Read this article its all you need to know about potty training! Good Luck! My daughter is 3 and also still wets herself I feel your pain!

Answer 16

we are going through this with our 3 year old son. The preschool he attends want him potty trained, although they will take pull ups if you are still working on it.

What has been working for us is what we are calling potty training bootcamp.  For the first two or three days I sat out in the backyard with him and a gallon of water and a kiddie pool, and a potty. We let him run around naked so that when he started to pee he could see what was happening. He learned to put the feeling and the action togethor. By the end of the weekend he was getting better about knowing when he had to pee.  Starting Monday we put him in underpants with plastic pants and took him to the potty every 20 min wether he had to go or not. If he was dry all morning he got a sticker and then if he is dry all afternoon he get another. When he had earned 5 stickers he gets a brownie(his favorite)

It takes time, but he is starting to get the idea. You just need to be patient and find out what motivates her. For us it is brownies, Once you start you can't stop and it is best to try to stay home for at least a week, until she is relaiably dry at home. If we have to go out we still use pull ups.

I wouldn't worry too much. Children learn to use the toilet anywhere between the ages of 18 months to 4 years old. I have seen plenty of 3 year olds who are still using pull ups occasionally. Every child is different and you need to find what works for you. When she gets it, she will start to move very fast and before you know it you will be giving away the diapers.

Good Luck

Heather

Answer 17

how about taking her to the toilet say, every 15-30 mins, and make sure she goes even if she says she doesnt need to, then tell her to do this whenever she does need the toilet.

then maybe she wont wet herself and it will teach her to go to the toilet at nursery aswell. or ask the teachers to make sure she goes every so often.

Answer 18

To me it sounds like she is so smart she has learned that she has control over the potty training not you.  My son was the same way.  Very bright! learns very quickly, but chooses not to use the potty.  (my son actually potty trained before he was 2, but then about 3 months later decided he didn't want to be potty trained any more)  Their brains are working so hard on other things they don't want to interrupt it with going to the bathroom.  For my son it took the right reward.  We tried stickers, candy, ice cream parties, trips to McDonald's, new underware and many other things.  Most of them worked for a day or two, but none lasted.  Finally (he was 4 at the time) we got a calendar and every day he was clean and dry he got a sticker.  When he got 3 in a row he got a hot wheels car.  Also we focused on "staying clean and dry" not "not having accidents."  When he had an accident we had him change his pants and put them in the dirty clothes, but we didn't say anything about it.  

     I don't know any preschools that accept pull-ups, but I have also never heard of any that leave them wet until you get there.  That is not sanitary!  See if you can bring extra clothes for her to change into if she has an accident.

     Good luck!!  I know it can be so frustrating!!

Answer 19

my mom had the same problem with me. my pre-school wouldnt except me until i was potty trained. im pretty sure my mom would not exactly get mad at me, but more dissapointed in me when i didnt go to the bathroom on the toilet. i think it made me want to show mommy that i could be independent and show her i could go to the bathroom all by myself. try to be very patient. i was nearly 4 when i finially learned to go when i needed to go, and not wet my pants.

good luck. and so far you're doing great!

hope i helped.

Answer 20

First I would talk to her doctor and see if there was a problem. Next, I would look for another preschool. I used to work at a daycare and kids do have accidents...how dare them to leave her in wet pants! That is just wrong!

Try putting cheerios or some type of cereal in her potty and tell her to wet it! Sometimes that works....Potty training can be very difficult and very time consuming...Good luck and don't worry she will go when she decides too! Just keep praising her when she does!

Answer 21

You shouldn't restrict her drinking, no matter how attractive an option that seems.  I agree with the poster who says she could have a urinary tract infection, and you need to go and see your GP first to make sure that your daughter is all right in that department!

If she is, then I would suggest the following.  Never use disposable nappies.  These are confusing for children because they allow them to pee, but because they are so good at absorbing the wetness the child doesn't feel that uncomfortable.  When disposable nappies first came in about 30 years ago, my son had a start in terry nappies and then these new ones came out.  I put him in those, and my friend kept her son in terry nappies.  Her son was potty-trained long before mine, and this was the reason I was given.  Furthermore, they are ecologically far more friendly!

Additionally, ask the nursery school why they have a policy which means that they cannot change the child without the parent being there.  I think you will find the answer is probably due to them fearing that any child who has had their underwear changed without the parent being in attendance leaves them open to charges of abuse.  Such a sad, twisted world we live in that we have to take these precautions nowadays.