4 1/2 months pregnant, daddy walked out.?

Question

I am 19 years old (ill be 20 when I give birth), I work 40 hour weeks at only 12$ an hour...We were going to do this together but he ended up being totally psychotic and abusive and I obviously can't stick around. I have absolutely nothing going for me and my family says the best option would be to give my little one up for adoption. They say this because of my past of "fu*k it I quit" but being pregnant has changed me. I use to think only of myself like every other teen but now its all about the baby....Id give anything to be a mommy and I want nothing more than to be a mommy. I don't know what to do. give it up for adoption or keep working to make it on my own...They say it would be selfish if I keep the baby because I wouldn't be able to give it the life that my little one deserves.

Are they right? Would it be selfish of me?

Answer 1

Foe God,s sak you are not old enough to handle motherhood. Just think about it. What is your child going to ask when he or she will not see any father in life. Are you trying to be her or his father role,too? Plus, what about yourself? Don,t you have dreams for God,s sake? You have to go to college and university and be one of experts if you want to choose your way to do it. It is your life and decision but, i think you have to see your benefits. How many years do u want to work 12$ an hour? Stop sacrificing yourself.

Answer 2

I would give it up.  You have a lot of life to live yet, and your child could have a wonderful life if adopted.  Concentrate on bettering your own life, and let your child find loving caring parents who can afford to care for it properly.  Good luck.

Answer 3

I can't answer this one for you. You do what you feel is right, but if it was me, I would keep the baby. I am 35 weeks along right now and if my old man left me i know i have the support of my family and i have NO income whatsoever. By the grace of God someone will help you. If you believe in God, please pray.  

Answer 4

If you want this baby, DON'T give it up.

They probably think you will try to pass the kid off on them so prove them wrong.Mommy hood defiantly does change a person.

Do you live with your family? My parents helped me when I got pregnant.

Answer 5

keep trying to make it your own you still have at least 4 more months. every kid deserves to be with its mother. keep trying and you will be a good mom! you would regret it later if you gave it up for adoption!

GOOD LUCK & CONGRATS

Answer 6

without the support of family I am not sure what my mother would have done when she divorced my father. Without the help of family adoption might be the best thing.  Try talking to a lawer about getting the b*****d to pay child support.

Answer 7

PLEASE KEEP THE BABY!  If u give that baby up u will regret it for the rest of ur life. so what if things are rough u will feel better knowing that u have tried and worked hard to give ur baby the best life u could. ur baby will thank u one day.. and if u do decide to give it up there will always be that empty space in ur heart and the babies heart as well. I promise u will love that baby more than anything when u look into the little ones eyes. ur heart will drop. don't just keep it to prove to everyone else keep it for u and ur child.... And u r already a GREAT parent...  

Answer 8

I wish you luck, but there are so many pass cases of single moms failing to raise their childern. I hate to say it, but looking at the past, this will fail and the child will suffer. You will suffer. Don't do it, we don't need more added on to this nation's horrible stats.

Plus we don't need any more humans. If, and only if you are able to lay out a clear plan and stick to it. A plan that involves getting a college education and a great job. A plan the excudes men from your life, then you have a shot. It will be hard, but if you have a clear plan, then yes, it is not selfish.

But, if you have no idea what you'll be doing in 10 years, give up the baby.  

Answer 9

Your life is your life. Prioritize the things that are important. You will find a way if it's what you truly desire.

Answer 10

of course its not selfish to keep YOUR baby noone else is this babys mother and guess what paper work wont change that. A baby need its mother not a substitute the baby already knows your smells your voice nad everything about you. adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem . also if you have nay doubt in your mind do not do it adoption was created for unwanted and unloved children not for poor infertile couples. if you love and want your baby keep it otherwise you will regret it. also please take this to the adoption section you will get great advice . also your not stupid for having a baby at 19 your an adult I do agree its stupid to not be married though. im 19 and pregnnat with a tried for baby im married and my husband has a college degree. so dont let someone tell you 19 is too young thats ridiculous there is a reason 18 year old are considered adults. if you have nay doubts keep your baby and please dont talk to any agency b.c they will try to coerce you.

Answer 11

yes

Answer 12

You're old enough to keep your baby.  Although adoption is a beautiful gift, don't do it if you don't want to.  It's not like you're 15 and still in high school. I make as much as you, and I get by just fine.  Yes, I'm married, but I make more than hubby and his paychecks go towards food and cable bill.

However, unlike me, you qualify for govt assistance.  Like WIC (free milk, eggs, cereal, formula), daycare assistance, medicaid and possibly more...  you should really check it out, find out your options.  I bet you'll get enough help to make it on your own with your baby.

Babies are tough, but so worth it.  Contact the United Way, they can hook you up with organizations free of charge to help you.

Good luck!  I know you'll be fine!

Answer 13

Absolutely not! If you are committed to this child there is no reason why you should give it up for adoption. Although your situation is unfortunate it isn't one that you cannot eventually get out of. It will be hard, but many women struggle with the same situation and come out of it strong independent women that are great loving mothers. Stick with it honey! Get your act and mind together. Check out the best alternatives to make your situation work and give your child the best possible life you can give him/her. Good luck and God bless you :)

Answer 14

If you do not have family support or Father support than I would look at that option. My friend gave her baby up for adoption so she could finish school and it worked for her she went to college and they both see each other now. Some adoptions will let you be a part of the babies life. If you have a past that you need to deal with it is hard to bring up a baby. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do. Pray about it I wish you well. God Bless

Answer 15

its YOUR baby. not theirs. they can give you a opinion but they cant tell you what to do. i say keep the baby. if u give it up...you will only make it harder on you by thinking about him/her night and day...why not just keep him/her in your mommy arms night and day instead....

Answer 16

If you want the baby, you need to keep the baby. Nineteen is not all that young to take on the responsibility of being a mom. I do think you should talk to an impartial person about how you feel, though. You have some time to research how mom's have felt--those who have kept their baby, and those who've put the baby up for adoption.

Take care.

Answer 17

well, if you cant give the child the kind of life it deserves, which is the best life.  then yes you should give it up for adoption.    Im sure you want the best for your future child, so you just have to decide what you think will be the best thing for him/her.  

Answer 18

h**l no they aren't correct!! You have a JOB making 12 bucks an hour!!!!! Most people don't even make a portion of that girl!! s***w the baby's father because obviously he isn't a worthy man! If he was he wouldn't have put you through all this!! Your family is so horrid! How can they say this about your unborn child their blood?! Keep your baby and raise him/her right! You can do it!! Don't listen to any of them!! Follow your heart , common sense and pray about it!! God bless!

Answer 19

well, i wouldn't say selfish, more just like, its better for the baby. you're very young and i'm sure you want to have fun with your life, hang with your friends, and the guys ; ]. the best option would be adoption hun. hope this helps

Answer 20

no ur not selfish ....ur stupid for having a kid at ur age

Answer 21

That depends.  You have to realize what a long and difficult road you have ahead of you, especially if you are now doing this on your own.  And according to you, you have a tendency to not follow through when things get tough.  You don't really have the option of doing that with a child.

You are excited and thinking only of the baby right now, but you have to honestly ask yourself if it is always going to be that way.  Because I can assure you, for as difficult as you think it's going to be when you turn it over in your mind, it will be about ten times harder--financially, emotionally, and physically speaking.

If you are really committed to providing the best possible environment for this baby and putting someone else's needs before your own for the next eighteen years, great.  If not, well... you have to decide that for yourself.  Your family may have a change of heart, but for now, it doesn't sound like they are going to be terribly supportive, so you can't necessarily count on any help from them.  That is going to make things that much harder on you and your baby.

Good luck!

Answer 22

Don't listen to the mean spirited people here.  God never puts more on us than we can handle.  He has given you a blessing in this baby you are carrying.  You have a job making ok money...and there are programs out there that can help you.  Get signed up for WIC as soon as possible.  Hopefully your family will come around and help you.  Don't make the decision now, keep working and saving and see what you can do.  Good Luck to you.  I'll say a little prayer for you and your blessing.

Answer 23

If you believe you can make it and have people in your life to support your decision there is nothing wrong with keeping the baby.

Look into adoption if you feel you aren't capable of taking care of the child and have absolutely no help and no way of supporting it.  

When you do things because of what others say and not what you feel and know...that's when u run into regrets.

Answer 24

They're places that can help.

The WIC program helps with food for mothers and babies.

Tons of people raise kids on 12 an hour. SOunds like your family needs to be more supportive.

Answer 25

sweetheart whatever you do don't give up your little mini-you!

i mean the guys a douche bad and obviously he chickened out...keep your lil bundle of joy and keep working hard so that you can prove your parents wrong!! your in my prayers hun!

hope everything turns out great!

Answer 26

Honestly you have to think very very long and hard about it. If you are going to give it up, as silly as it sounds; do it like similarly to the girl in Juno. Talk to local agencies to find possible adoptve parents and get back ground check through social services and spend time with then and interview them ect. Your child will be 1000000 time better off with you then in foster care or an orphanage.  

Answer 27

It's too bad your family is not more supportive. If there is any way you think you can raise, and care for your child... do it. Do what is best for your child,and I hope that what is best is you.

Answer 28

Its your life ! Keep your baby ! People have done it on a lot less than that ! And for the boy that walked out, Take him to court, Make him pay child support. You wont be 20 forever.

Answer 29

it looks like your mom and dad will be raising your child, If you were responsible, you would have been married, both have colledge degrees, good jobs and a home to start with........The only thing selfish is laying all this on your mom and dad, I would get some counseling to get another perspective on the situation, good luck.

Answer 30

no you should keep it your baby not there's but it's going to be really hard financially

Answer 31

How can you not give the little one the life it deserves.

As long as you two have food, shelter and the rest that is necessary...does it matter if she doesn't have a father around? In all honesty - it doesn't matter one bit.

It wouldn't be selfish of you, if you can handle it then do what you want.

Good luck.