4 1/2 year old wets pants only at home?

Question

Our 4 1/2 year old daughter has recently started wetting her pants again but she only does it while at home. She'll be playing and suddenly realize she has to go, but it will be too late and she ends up wet. She wet her pants while we were having dinner last night, too. She suddenly said "I need to go to the bathroom" but then just peed on the chair. I was thinking about it, and I think it may have started when we started talking about the new baby (I'm pregnant due in 3 months).. is it possible that she's upset and is wetting because she doesn't want a new baby? Could that be a reason? She doesn't do this at school or while at friends houses. We also have a 6 year old son, if it makes a difference. What can I do? I don't punish her when she has accidents, and she gets really upset after them. She doesn't wet the bed. ANY help would be much appreciated!

Answer 1

lol thats kind of funny. but seriously i wouldnt over-analyze your daughters accidents. shes still really young and learning to control the urge to go. one suggestion is positive reinforcement. when she uses the bathroom when she has to go, reward her for it and help her feel really good about that.

Answer 2

Any change in a child's life can cause them to have accidents, she is probably not doing it on purpose. Maybe set up a reward chart for her, like she would get a sticker if she doesn't have an accident in the morning, and another for the afternoon/evening being accident free then after a week or whatever time you chose she gets a prize.  This would encourage her to get up and go to washroom.

Answer 3

What do you mean by "she gets really upset"? I mean, it kind of sounds like she can help it most of the time. So her getting upset might be part of an attention thing, which also includes the peeing...esp if she isn't wetting the bed. Because if there's ever a time when a person will work through things, it's during sleep and dreaming, ESP a child who can't always express what they are feeling.

This doesn't for a second mean that you need to yell at her, or punish her or anything shameful, that would just be mean.

But I would bet serious money that she is doing it on purpose for attention...because when she does it there is guarantee that you are required to respond to the mess. Here are some attention things you can try.

Special time, just you and her, doing stuff she loves to do.

Talk with her some about the coming baby, and how great a big sister she is going to be. How she will always be your baby and you have enough love for as many kids that come along.

If she does wet her pants, you can matter of factly tell her that when these things happen someone needs to clean the mess, and you expect her help. It's not a reason to be mean to her....it's just letting her deal with the mistake she made. "Oops...I see you had an accident. Well, let's get it cleaned up then..."

Another thing she may not like, is if you carry a diaper bag around, "just in case". If she asks you why, you can say, "well, you have been having a hard time lately...I don't want to have to come home if it happens somewhere else, so I have a few things ready." See how she responds to the idea.

And probably your best bet, esp if she doesn't really want to be doing this...is to set a timer for 30 minutes or so and make sure she goes to at least try a potty before she pees her pants.

Answer 4

I know that when something changes kids deal with it in different ways. Maybe she just is unsure of all the changes going on in the house. Your getting bigger and she knows a baby is coming and not sure how to deal with it. I would just try focusing on her for a while. Take her to help you pick out some things for the baby. Make her feel special and having a hand in things for the new baby. Just make sure to tell her that just because there will be a new baby does not mean you love her any less. I have seen that sometimes when a new baby comes the older children feel as though they are being replaced. Good luck and have fun.

Answer 5

shes being lazy and your allowing it

yes punish her

of course shes gonna act upset it  gets her attention

shes in complete control of what shes doing

send her to the bathroom before dinner and remind her every few minutes at home these arent accidents those are on purposes

Answer 6

It's hard to know, and it will probably take a little trial and error to work it out.  Any emotional upset in a child that age could potentially cause wetting accidents, but I'd expect her in that case to have problems at night as well (and possibly at school and elsewhere).  Some kids that age get focused on something and don't respond to bladder urges until it's too late, and that might me more likely to occur when she's relaxed at home than elsewhere.  

I wouldn't punish her and I'd explore her feelings about the new baby.  Remind her that she'll be a big sister and will have to be grown up and responsible.

At the same time, I'd take her to the bathroom at regular intervals when she's at home and make sure that she pees on schedule to minimize accidents.  If it persists, I'd speak with her pediatrician to make sure there isn't a medical problem behind it.

Answer 7

Well that change could be affecting it, but from the way it sounds it doesn't seem like shes doing it on purpose.

But you might want to get her checked out for an infection. When I was younger I would suddenly feel like I had to use the restroom and there was just maybe a few seconds of warning before it just happened. Some antibiotics took care of it. Maybe its the same in this case?

Well I hope she feels better and same for you, I know its probably frustrating.  Good luck.  

Answer 8

My daughter started doing the same thing, After she was potty trained. She would hold it so long she could not control when it was released. She too never had accident at pre-school.

She ended up have a UTI. It is unusual in young children and after a searies of tests she was found to have dual ureters with reflux.

Also children who suffer from constipation or large stools cause by prolonged constipation often suffer "accidents". These accidents are cause because the bowel puts pressure on the nerves that tell a person when to void urine. As a result they have already wet before they are aware they have to go!

My girl had both these problems.

Have her checked by a doctor. If all checks out. It may be a matter of physically putting her on the potty every 2 hours... even if she say she does not have to urinate.