4 year old and vegetarianism?

Question

My daughter who is nearly four and very forward thinking has starting asking questions about where food comes from. I have been honest with her and have explain about meat and animals and to be honest she is appalled at the thought of eating animals. Now I'm not a vegetarian although we only eat meat about 3 or 4 times a week for health reasons so I don't have a problem with cooking meat-free meals. We already eat lots of pulses, Quorn and dairy as alternative protein sources, but none of the rest of the family either want to or intend to give up meat completely. Is it right to insist on expecting her to eat meat when she has expressed concerns about this or is she too young to make a decision like that? I want to respect her views, although she is very young and doesn't fully understand all the facts. I know I could still provide her with a healthy balanced diet with or without meat.

Answer 1

Just be careful. Being vegetarian is tough work. It's hard to get the right protiens and fats without meat.

Answer 2

Of course its safe for your daughter to grow up a vegetarian...one day when i start having kids (like no sooner then 10 years from now since I'm only 18) i plan on raising them to be vegetarians and its not true that if someone grows up a vegetarian they will be shorter then the average person or have health deficiencies.there are tons of people that have grown up veggie and there like 6 feet tall and like models and stuff let her express herself the way she sees fits it sound like your daughter has a old soul in her and shes gonna grow up to be quit something good in this world!

Answer 3

After your explanation, I wouldn't force her.  

She would be traumatized.

She will probably lighten up in time if you don't mention it.  Put a tiny amount on her plate, but don't say anything if she doesn't eat it.  Don't say anything if she does.

Make sure she gets her protein somewhere, like peanut butter.

Answer 4

Rickets are now a health concern as more children

become vegetarians,making bones not grow and form

as they would if they were meat eaters.

As a boy i saw many children and grown up`s

with bow legs simply because they did not

get the right nutrition,mainly meat,but that was

when money was short and people could not

afford what they should have been eating.MEAT.

Answer 5

Well firstly, I think you are a great mom. You are listening to your child. You are having trusting, honest and open communication. I think there should be more parents instill confident conversations like this. It will build a great relationship bnetween you and your child.

I was raised as a vegetarian. And I am healthy, I have a degree, and wonderful husband and I am the social butterfly at parties.

So if your daughter has shown dislike for eat animals. make her vegetarian meals. If one day she says wants to try meat, make it for her. - See at this point go with the flow. Make really healthy foods for the whole family.

There are many parents of vegetarian children. Infact, by being vegetarian your daughter will be eating less junk foods from fast food places and thats a good thing.

My husband eats meat, and we have agreed that we will raise our child/ren vegetarian. They can chose to be vegan or a 100% meater eater when they grow up. But in my house we do not have meat. I have a feeling that a child from me will probably chose to be a vegetarian as an adult. lol.

If you ever get stuck for ideas, just go online and find recipes. - one good place is http://www.vegetariantimes.com - free and easy recipes.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

her being appauled depends on what you told her

if you said meat is natural..and it comes from animals and it has nutrients...then i dont see why a 4 year old would be appauled

however if you said

meat is disgusting rotting flesh from poor tortured animals then no wonder

but if she is truly informed then let her make her own mind up..im not trying to insult..i just think that when a vegetarian tells their children where meat comes from they use the scare tactic so when the child chooses the go veg...its not really a choice...its like saying you can go left or right...but if you go left youl be evil and barbaric...now which way do you want to go???

personally you should approach the situation from a non-biased view so there is no scare mungering

EDIT jenny 84...i buy all my meat from local farmers where i know thew conditions...its pretty sad you think im in denial...im perfectly aware where my meat comes from and how it gets there...you say eating hamburgers arnt natural...niether is using electricity or watching television...bet you dont have problems with those...trying opening your eyes and be less hypocritical...if thats possible

Answer 7

Both my parents are vegan so I've never ate meat, but I think you shouldn't of told a 4yo all the truth about meat, that isn't age appropriate. Since you don't have any experience with vegetarianism I'd suggest talking to your doctor about this.

Just my two cents. - I think all of you should eat a vegetarian diet after all what message are you sending your daughter if mommy still eats dead animals.

Answer 8

I think you should let her eat meat free meals.  I've been vegetarian all my life as I was born to vegetarian parents.  However, more importantly, she will realize how much you value her opinion and that she is being heard.  My hubby remembers from a very young age times when he didn't feel "heard" by his parents when he had something important on his mind and sometimes that still bugs him!  Kudos on the healthy meals!  Sounds like you and your family eat very well, which can be difficult when you are a busy mom.

Answer 9

I'd say pop to the doctors or a dietcian for advice, i dont see why, if they say she can get all the vitamins she needs from other foods, you shld have to force her to eat something she clearly feels uncomfortable about. In time as she gets older she might change her mind.

Answer 10

Remember your 4 year old is still a child, children will always try to express what they like/don't like and some may think they know what is best for them but as a parent you should know best for your child.  I am not suggesting you ignore her request but at this age like you said she may not understand, relating Food to Animals then Cartoon character's.  It is amazing how many people wont eat certain meat because it relates to their childhood cartoon character eg Bambi   She may be expressing individuality but ones that she does not understand.  Their is no problem going vegetarian but leave it to an age where she will truly understand why she is doing it for the correct reasons and not from a fear she had when she was young.  It may make her upset if she continues to eat meat because the way she feels but i suggest you ask her where and why she feels about meat.  Fears at this age have to come from somewhere.  My cousin had fears of monsters and started having poor sleep patterns, cause, was she was watching Monsters Inc and she is only 4.

Talk to her and tell her it is alright to eat meat etc, don't giver her too much info as this can make things worse, as humans and at a young age it is important to get a good balance diet so go to your GP or dietitian

Answer 11

The fact she is asking this and is appalled by it, shows she understands it. I think people don't give young children enough credit for how much they understand.

I think it is unfair to force her to eat meat, however you must be careful to ensure she is getting all the correct nutrients that she may miss from not eating meat. Especially as she is so young.

However, you have said you eat extremely healthily & I think it is the right thing to do.

I would discuss with a nutrionist & find out if you are getting all the right nutrients in your other meals, so that she can cut out meat.

Answer 12

I think you should support her whatever her choice. And I know you will know this but I just want to say that I found the biggest challenge of going pescatarian was my family, and the 'fight' that some of them put up. I am just backing up my first sentence, as I can tell that you would anyway! I say good luck to your daughter and well done, because she must be very intelligent being able to think like that at her age!

Answer 13

She sounds like the wisest member of your family...why don't the rest of you folow her lead, (if only for a trial period), to see if you can manage without meat?

She'll be absolutley fine without meat, I think you should respect her decision, even tho she 'doesn't fully understand the facts'...she can always change her mind when she's older if she wishes.

Answer 14

I have a friend who brought up their kids from babies as vegetarian.  The kids are now over 18, have in recent years tried meat, but decided for themselves now that they don't want it.  Both kids are fine healthy specimens.

With a little thought and education there is no problem giving your daughter a vegetarian diet.  I think it is easier to be vegetarian when your young as they haven't created the addiction (for lack of a better word) to meat, animal fats.  It doesn't matter whether it's a phase or not, I wouldn't make a big deal of it to her.

I don't think it hurts to let any child make some decisions for herself.  It is not like she wants to play with a big shiny knife.  I know that kids are dependant, but it is also good to find excuses for them to learn they are separate little people who can make their own choices - the beginning of a lifetimes work.

Answer 15

By not having a healthy, varied diet you are risking your own health... but don't worry, this answer will be deleted by the people who do not appreciate freedom of speech or different opinions.

we are omnivores, the dominant species of this earth... we have k9 teeth to tear meat & molar's for grinding veg/fruit, we were born to eat meat just as we were born to grow old and die.

By being a vegan or vegiterian i see it as a sign of mental weaknes & caring emotionaly for a weaker species.

Answer 16

No matter how forward and bright you think your daughter is, she is only four and whilst you may think she understands the concept, rest assured she does not....she now realises she is eating dead animals...without having the concept that animals have been bred for Millenia for food....you have made a rod for your own back.....sometimes it is best to not go into too much detail with one so young....I would still prepare meat for her on occasions and don't make a big deal about it, as she will then realise that this makes her the centre of attention, which is why many vegetarians become veggies, so they can gain attention for themselves...not all I hasten to add.

Answer 17

The rest of the family doesn't have to give up meat to support your daughter's choice. I'm the sole vegetarian in my family (and have been for years) and it isn't too difficult to modify a meat-free portion at mealtimes. Also, that's probably the best way to encourage her to change her mind: continue to enjoy meat as a family and she might start missing it.

Since she is so young, this decision might not be for life, but you can support her for now and teach her the right way to be veggie in case it is. If she changes her mind, she changes her mind. If she doesn't, at least you'll have taught her healthy living.

If people tell you it isn't healthy for a girl her age, a cousin of mine has never eaten meat in his life, not even once, and he's now a perfectly healthy teenager. As long as she's eating a healthy, balanced diet, and you keep a close eye on nutrients, she should be fine as a veggie, whether it lasts two days or the rest of her life.

Answer 18

I would allow her to become vegetarian. If not for the reason that she is expressing concern and showing understanding about where food comes from and is not comfortable eating it, than for the fact that you do not want to create a power struggle over food or negative associations.

A power struggle over food is not something you want to start. The more you make a big deal over an issue, the worse the outcome will be. I would simply allow her to not eat meat. If you still want her to eat it, than offer, and allow her to choose if she wants it that night or not. If she says no, than give her the vegetarian alternative. If she is understanding where meat comes from, making her eat it could be extremely traumatic and cause negative associations with food, which could lead to issues later.

She is not calling the shots just b/c she does not want to eat meat. You are still preparing and expecting her to eat the healthy vegetarian food that you cook. There is nothing wrong with allowing your child to express an opinion and choice.

The rest of the family does not need to give up meat completely. If you are only serving meat 3-4 times per week than it should not be difficult to, either leave meat out of those meals, or make a substitute.

If you know that you can provide a healthy vegetarian lifestyle for her, than there is no need to force her to eat something that she does not want. A vegetarian diet is healthy for any stage of life(1).

Some good books:

Raising Vegetarian Children : A Guide to Good Health and Family Harmony  

by Joanne Stepaniak and Vesanto Melina

Better Than Peanut Butter & Jelly: Quick Vegetarian Meals Your Kids Will Love! Revised Edition



Better Than Peanut Butter & Jelly: Quick Vegetarian Meals Your Kids Will Love! Revised Edition

by Marty Mattare and Wendy Muldawer

Disease-Proof Your Child: Feeding Kids Right  

by Joel Fuhrman

Websites

http://www.pcrm.org/health/veginfo/veg_d...

http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/kids.htm

http://www.vegsoc.org/info/childre1.html

Answer 19

If meat is not needed, why would you insist she eat it?

Just to point at about the poster who mentions Rickets.  Rickets is from lack of vitamin D.  The best source of vitamin D is the sun..just a few minutes a day.

Answer 20

Congratulations on being so open minded, and in raising your daughter in such an intelligent fashion.

'Is it right to insist on expecting her to eat meat when she has expressed concerns about this" ?  Allow her to make this decision.  Please.  The callousness with which people force meat upon children after they realize where it came from, I have always found appalling.

Answer 21

you must have drawn her towards vegetaranism by the way you have explained about the animals, I bet you didn`t tell her about people have been meat eaters for hundreds of years that is why we have teeth for tearing and chewing, you probably scared her to death about going into detail how animals are killed even though you might not know yourself.

Answer 22

I have great parents... the only thing I wish they didn't do was teach me to eat meat. Kids don't inctintivly crave meat... they're taught to eat it by their parents.

I think you'd be doing your child a great favour by respecting her wishes to eat meat. It already shows what a compassionate individual she is and the fact she is questioning meat consumption shows a high level of intelligence too. There are so many health benefits to being a vegetarian. I would even go so far as to say you should avoid giving her dairy milk. The way milk is farmed nowadays (cows produce milk WHILE they're pregnant to make them more profitable) means it's full of hormones and these hormones are directly linked to not only breast cancer but also, early female puberty. People are wondering why girls start to develop so quickly nowadays and it's no suprise when they're drinking hormone laden milk. It can bring on the menstrual cycle early by a good few years!

Anyway I could be here all day. Just do a search on vegetarian kids and you'll soon discover just how good a vegetarian diet can be for your child. If you want to take it a step further, read The China Study by T Colin Campbell... that will really open your eyes.

Good luck and thank you for being such an understanding parent... a lot would just think their way is right, without even doing any research on the matter.

And to Timmy's answer: 90% of meat comes from factory farms... there is no way a person with any kind of conscience could see them as anything but barbaric. Meat eaters are often in denial about where their meat comes from. 90% does not come from idylic farms and green pastures... it comes from warehouses where animals only ever see the light of day when they're sent off to slaughter and endure such horrific conditions that they should be renamed 'animal concentration camps'. Some meat can be farmed well or even better hunted in the wild but most IS barbaric. Sure, teach your kids that hunting may be seen as natural but buying a package of factory farmed meat or munching down on a hamburger is NOT natural.

Answer 23

You underestimate a child's intelligence. First, do respect her views, and help her learn what a vegetarian eats. Next time you go grocery shopping, pick up some soy milk for her to try it. Let her decide for herself what she does and doesn't like.

Get her foods that are high in vitamin C (broccoli, tomatoes, strawberries, cauliflower, kiwi fruit, cantaloupe, potatoes, cabbage and citrus) and iron (Bran flakes, Quinoa, Oatmeal, Whole wheat bread, Soybeans, Tofu, Lentils, Kidney beans,

Garbanzo beans, Lima beans, Black-eyed peas, Pinto beans, cooked, Lentil soup, Tempeh, Sesame Tahini, Sunflower seeds, Cashews, Prune juice, Dried Apricots, Dried Figs, Raisins, Spinach, Swiss chard, Mushrooms, Potatos (baked with skin) Bok choy, Blackstrap molasses...) There are so many things your daughter can eat that won't hurt her health, and you don't have to cut out meat for yourself, but do make stuff with the foods I mentioned for your daughter. She may or may not like some things, but that's how we all are. Try stuff and maybe you could even get a cookbook and talk to her about what SHE finds interesting and just make that for her that day.

By the way, she knows enough to know that killing an animal to eat it is bad, as her reaction says it all. If she understood that without anyone telling her it was bad, how can you say she's too young!? You can get yourself a juicer and make your daughter her own juices. I think it would be cool, and maybe she'll wanna get in on it, and you can teach her to make it herself. She may be too young to do it without supervision but if you start her off young, that kid could be amazing in so many ways by the time she can read and write. There are many vegetarian options, so check out the stuff at the grocery store and see what you can find. Just make sure you give her food with enough iron every day, otherwise her health will deteriorate and it'll scare you to the point of forcing her to do something she doesn't feel right doing, and you wouldn't be right in doing so. I love that she actually was appalled at the thought of eating animals. LOL That's so cute. Keep teaching her things like this, I wonder how smart she'll be by 6th grade!

Whatever you do, please please please don't ever lie to her about what's on her plate. She will eventually not trust you, and I doubt you'd want that to happen. Keep her trust, you'll be grateful for that when she's older.

Good luck with your meals and everything else.

Answer 24

Right now at four years old, she is probably not wanting to eat meat because she associates, for example, lamb as being a fluffy, cute, bouncing sheep and not for the reasons that other people may chose to become a vegetarian.

If she really doesn't want to eat meat, maybe try a little fish but from what you say, she seems to be eating a healthy enough diet so I wouldn't be too concerned.

It's going to be something she'll either stick with or in time, grow out of.

Answer 25

Smart girl.  And thank you for trying to be supportive.  Don't force her to eat meat.  If you're cooking a meat meal, make sure there are vegetarian leftovers you can heat up for your daughter.  Amy's now makes a few kids' meals that you can keep on hand for when you serve meat to the rest of the family.  Or you can just serve her the vegetables that go with the non-veg meal with veggie dogs or a veggie burger.

You know that she can be perfectly healthy without meat (and without dairy, too), so why force her?

Answer 26

Your daughter has clearly realised there is something not nice about killing animals and eating their flesh.  Just because she is only 4 doesn't make this any less true.  It seems to me that she understands the facts far better than most four year olds.  I honestly feel that if I'd known about where meat came from I'd have given it up sooner.  As it was I gave up meat at age 11 once I found out the truth about meat production processes, factory farms and slaughter etc.  I still feel slightly resentful that I had to find out this stuff for myself and no member of my family told me - if they had I'd have been veggie long before age 11!

If you eat meat only 3 or 4 times a week, why not cut it out altogether, it will be a far easier transition than for a family for whom meat makes the meal.  I make my husband meals with quorn and he says he can't tell the difference.

Your daughter is clearly very bright and my advice would be to talk to her about it and if she wants veggie food try to accommodate her.  It could be easy to prepare a big meal and separate her portion before adding the meat.

Answer 27

Perhaps if you take her to your doctor or better still to a nutritionist, she can get all the information she (and you) needs to make a proper decision. A professional would tell her the pros and cons of eating meat.

I would think she's a little young to skip eating meat but if she is already getting a well balanced diet from your lifestyle, a doctor might judge that she will be ok.